


Freshmen

by angelicnachillean (usefultrash)



Category: Good Omens, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Bee likes Crowley, Beelzebub Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Cigarettes, College AU, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Demisexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Drama, Drugs, Drunk Sex, E-Enby ? Beelzebub, E-Girl Beelzebub, F/F, F/M, FTM Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Gabriel is also Cymruphobic, Gabriel is an asshole, He really is just an asshole, Homophobic Gabriel, Human AU, Jealous Beelzebub, Lots of drama, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Rich Gabriel, Some Brief Smut, They have normal human names, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub, Trans Crowley, University AU, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, drug mention, non-binary Beelzebub, now there's more smut, trans man crowley, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 56,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22623979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usefultrash/pseuds/angelicnachillean
Summary: Azzy, Bee, Gabe, and Anthony are freshmen in university.
Relationships: Background Hastur/Ligur, Beelzebub/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Dagon (Good Omens), Crowley/Aziraphale, Gabriel/Beelzebub, Gabriel/Michael (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands - Relationship, ineffable bureaucracy - Relationship
Comments: 68
Kudos: 117





	1. Moving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE:   
> I don't really wanna get anymore comments like this: Yes, I know the British university system is NOT the same as the American one. I have family that still lives in the UK. However, despite part of my family being from the UK, I was born and raised in America. The American university system is the one I am more familiar with/more comfortable writing because it's the idea I was raised on mostly.   
> And I also know that in the UK, the term 'freshmen' isn't really used. This actually is more of just a working title. I didn't put much thought into it. Have a good day y'all. <3

**Aziraphale**

Azzy felt his stomach drop, a pang in his lower abdomen telling him to book it. To leave and wait until he was ready. However, after feeling this way for a while, he decided that he would never feel ready. It was now or never. He shakily unlocked the new dorm room, looking around. It was a bit small, but freshmen never got the best deals. There was a small kitchenette area next to a decent sized living room looking place. There were two doors veering off to each side, the bedroom and bathroom, he supposed. 

He sat the first load of boxes and his suitcase in the center, walking around slowly and quietly. He checked the doors and found he was right-- they were the bedroom and bathroom. Everywhere looked completely untouched. Perhaps his roommate hasn’t gotten here yet. 

Apprehension struck through him like a mighty sword. Being a Welshman going to an English university scared him. He wanted better things than little Hay-on-Wye, but he knew how the English were. They were cruel about the accent and the culture and the language. Hopefully his roommate won’t be too hard on him. 

Azzy sighed, slumping his shoulders. He left the room to go back out to his car-- the nice white one he inherited from his father-- to take out more of his baggage. He didn’t take much from home. Maybe because he didn’t have much. He had his bed sheets, his clothes, his nightstand, his laptop, and only a few of his books. He hoped this town would do as good as Hay-on-Wye when it came to bookshops. He doubted it. Still, he heard the school had an extensive library and many kids here were planning to be authors. He could be a beta reader as a side job. 

He strolled over to the window in the bedroom, dropping crumbled sheets on his decided bed. He gazed around the expansive campus, the green grass of the courtyard separating the grandiose building housing the classrooms and the dorm rooms. He sighed, closing the eyes of azure. He tried his very hardest to wish the nervousness away but still couldn’t manage. Maybe he just needed something to eat. 

He left the window and started laying the sheets out on his bed. The space between the two beds was minimal and it made Azzy uncomfortable. He didn’t like the idea of sharing a room with another person. Especially a stranger. Well, maybe if he gets to know his roommate, he wouldn’t be a stranger anymore. Still, it takes a while to know someone, and even longer to love. Again, he can’t let it get him down. He’s done a lot to get here. And it’ll all be a waste of time if he gets discouraged.

He moved to the kitchenette when his bed was fresh. He looked around, seeing if it had any basic appliances. It had a coffee maker and a tea kettle.  _ How unbearably British, _ he thought lightly. Perhaps he should buy some tea and surprise his new roommate with some. That would be a sweet gesture, to get them off on the right foot. He may even go out and get some food. That would be lovely. His roommate would probably be just as stressed as he was with the moving and all. He wouldn’t want to pay for some food on the first night and Azzy could make it a nice gesture. Besides, he needed to get out and get to know the town before school started in a few days. 

The blond moved to pull his coat on. Yes, he will do just that. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee picked at the fishnet showing in between the rips in their jeans. Dread pulled down on their entire being. They felt heavier, as if they were soaked in water. They didn’t want to do this; they would rather shit on a plate and eat it. Still, they trudge on. 

The idea of university never pleased Bee. They never had a clue what they wanted to be and university made them feel pressured to figure it out. They had taken a gap year, to work and figure themselves out, but it never quite worked. So here they stood, outside the dorms, going right into the mouth of the monster. Down to the stomach of what they were trying to avoid. 

They pulled off their helmet, brushing their bangs back in order. Bee dismounted their motorcycle and pulled out their baggage in the sidecar. At least they lived close, that was their excuse for never getting a car. What use was a car when your university was an hour away and your motorcycle was cleancut and sexy? 

Bee dragged the two suitcases in, mud tracking behind them. They looked at the card with the assigned room number on it, squinting. They watched as the numbers ticked higher, soon reaching the very end of the hall. They looked at the number. Room 110. Perfect. They unlocked it with their given key and walked. 

They scrunched up their nose, it smelt like old dust and mildew. Great. Not only will they need to go to university and think about their future, their room will smell like shit the whole time. The room was jankity and old-looking, too. The flowery wallpaper looked abhorrent and the size was egregious. How the hell could two people live here? 

And of course, the thing Bee wishes to not think about but must face sometime soon: they’ll have to have a roommate. Bee didn’t come here to make friends or to socialize, they only came here to get a basic education so they can get a job and be exploited by capitalism and not get paid enough unlike their inevitable male co-workers. They didn’t need someone in their way. Someone who was either too good for them or a bad influence. Someone who chastise them like their mother or would come home drunk and fuck everybody they brought back. This was nothing they were looking forward to. 

They wandered around, eventually finding the bedrooms. They sat their stuff down, starting to pull out their bedsheets. The mattresses laid out had stains and dust and god knows what else. They shook it, to get someone of the dust out, before laying their black sheets out. They glanced over at the bed they had neglected and left for their roommate. They wanted to spit and wipe their ass on it, but went with their better judgement to leave it. Some part of them believed that maybe their roommate would be an okay person who didn’t deserve that. Or whatever.

They got up and started hanging their clothes. Most of what they wore was the same. Black or vintage tees, ripped jeans, and fishnets. Many called them an e-girl, but they rejected that label, considering they didn’t think of themselves as a girl. They were edgy, yeah sure, but not an e-girl. 

Bee finished hanging their clothes, looking around for the bathroom. They should probably take a shower. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel always knew he was going to be in higher-education. It didn’t surprise him one bit. However, when his dad recommended him  _ this _ piece of trash college, he was taken aback. It was exciting, the prospect of out-of-country schooling, but some English field? His dad swore that it would be good for him, since Gabriel was majoring in business and many of the teachers held old-fashioned Catholic values. 

Gabriel sighed, stepping out of his silver Mercedes. The building was old and worn out, vines climbing the sides as if the earth were claiming it. The limestone bricks were chipped and the vines easily found their tendrils digging inside. Still, this was his education. The thing he was living for. The thing that was his life on a plate. 

He unloaded a few bags from his car. He would do the rest another day, since he had so many. He had brought all of his precious belongings to England with him. Gabriel was what you would call a materialist man, but that was alright. Wasn’t like it was much of a flaw. He just liked expensive stuff and what he wanted, he got. Just that simple. It would make sense as to why he wanted to enter the cut-throat world of business. 

Gabriel started down the hallway, trying to avoid the mud some heathen had tracked in. These shoes were real Italian leather and he could not afford to get them dirty. He looked at the slip attached to the key. Room 103. He stopped abruptly, turning his head. He was right at it. He jammed the key in the lock, turning it, only to find it open. He pushed the door ajar, putting the key back in his pocket. 

“Hello?” He called as he stepped into the room. “Is anyone here?” His eyes scanned the room, stopping as he saw someone in the kitchenette. 

The person turned around, giving a surprised smile. “Oh, yes, hello!” 

Gabriel gave the man a once over. His hair was a bright blond and was as curly as all get out. He had a plush body and dressed a bit too formally for this occasion-- which was nothing. “Yes, hi. I am Gabriel. Angelov. I guess I’m your new roommate.”

The man walked over, reaching out to shake Gabriel’s hand. “I’m Azzy Fell. I like your accent, are you American?”

Gabriel smiled and nodded. “Yes, born and raised, red-blooded American male.”

Azzy gave a soft smile. “Well, welcome to Britain. I hope you enjoy it here.” He pointed to the west wall of the house. “Through that door is the bedroom. I’ve already set up my things, if you don’t mind.”

Gabriel shook his head. “No, I don’t mind at all.” He pulled the luggage in, scowling once he turned his back. He can’t stand English accents and he especially can’t stand his one. Annoyance tugged at him. He didn’t want to go through all year with this man. Especially one who was so obviously a homosexual. 

Gabriel wouldn’t say he necessarily had a problem with people in that lifestyle, people can do what they want, but he didn't want to live with one. He didn’t want to potentially be flirted with or touched. He knew how those people were. They want the maximum amount of people to be like them and he just didn’t want to be dragged into it. And he knew he couldn’t tell Azzy about his concerns or else he would get offended. He knew how they were. Sensitive and soft-skinned. Oh, my dear lord, this would be a tough year.

* * *

  
  


**Anthony**

Anthony was absolutely scared shitless to say the least. He was trembling his leather pants, walking down to his room. University was always a dream for him as his mother never went and because of that, they never had enough money. He wanted a nice life and a good income. Still, he was afraid for one reason. His gender marker in the school system was F. 

His gender marker was F and this school housed students with the same gender marker together. How would he explain to his roommate when he walks in looking like a man?  _ Being _ a man? He turned on the knob, seeing the door open. He swallowed, his pronounced Adam’s apple bobbing.

“Uh, ‘ello?” his voice was quivering. He pushed inside, closing the door behind him. His rubber boots made loud clunking noises in the quiet dorm. A small smile spread on his face. Maybe he’d be alone for a moment. Just long enough to work up courage to--

A door opened on the far wall, a head peeking out. His smile immediately dropped and nervousness hit his stomach like a baseball bat. His roommate was already here. She walked into the living room area, in dark pink pajamas and a towel wrapped around her neck. Her dark eyebrows threaded together. “Uh, who are you?”

Anthony swallowed. “I’m your new roommate.” He cut his eyes down, setting his bag on the floor. “I’m Anthony. Anthony Crowley.”

She looked a bit confused. “They roomed me with a man? I don’t mind it’s just, I didn’t think they did--”

“I’m trans--” he blurted. He looked up to see her face. “I’m transgender. My gender marker is F.” 

Her face looked understanding, cracking a small smile. “Same.”

Anthony cocked his head. “Oh, you’re trans, too, or?”

They nodded. “Pretty much. I’m just a non-binary dumbass.”

Anthony smiled at them, chuckling softly. Relief let him loose, his shoulders dropping, jaw opening. He picked up his bags. “The bedroom?”

They pointed across the room. “Over there, m’dude. I’m Bee, by the way.”

Anthony smiled at them. “Thanks, Bee.” He then wandered over to the door, going to set up his bed. University life maybe wouldn’t be so scary after all. 


	2. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azzy can't seem to get along with Gabriel and Bee can't seem to understand why they're so infatuated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't feel like I just met you  
> It's like I know you, better hold my feelings back  
> Because I just met you and I don't wanna get ahead of myself, no

**Azzy**

Azzy was surprised, yet relieved when he heard his roommate’s American accent. At least he wouldn’t say something judgy and English about his Welsh accent. Still, after the first day, Azzy couldn’t help but think Gabriel was avoiding him. He had offered him some tea and biscuits and Gabriel came back with the classic American phrase:

“I don’t drink tea.”

Still, Azzy understood. He knew many Americans haven’t acquired the taste. But then again, Gabriel would avoid him, as if he had a golden bell tied around his neck. Everytime Azzy tried to sit down and get to know the man, he would answer in vague wording and avoid eye contact. His beating heart was bruised.

Still, he thought, Gabriel would only be with him for this school year. He could make it through. It would be just his luck that his new roommate was off. He would say vaguely rude things, but still keep a smile on his face as if it was just pleasantries. His weight, his accent, his love for food, was all under such basic scrutiny that Azzy didn’t have enough ground to stand on to defend himself if Gabriel insisted that it wasn’t rudeness.

And Azzy, being the optimist that he is, knew that once class started in about a week, they wouldn’t see each other very much. They didn’t have the same teachers for their basics and they had different majors. The only time they’ll have to see each other is at the end of the day. Then the school year will be over and he won’t see Gabriel ever again.

One small afternoon, Azzy was making a hot cup of tea to have with pink iced biscuits. Gabriel walked in, setting shopping bags down on the kitchen counter.

“I picked up some groceries.”

Azzy perked up, looking in the bag at what he got. It was just some food to stock the fridge and cabinets. He moved back to pouring the tea. “Would you like some? At least some biscuits? I mean cookies?” He smiled at him playfully.

Gabriel shook his head. “No… I don’t sully the temple of my body with… Useless sweets and… Gross matter.”

Azzy’s smile faltered. “Ha, uh, right. Yeah, sorry.”

“Oh, that’s very fine,” Gabriel gave him a hollow smile. “That’s why we look… different.”

Azzy’s smile fell this time, stomach sinking. His throat prickled. “Oh, yes. Uh, yes. Right.” He cleared his throat, picking up his tea and plate of biscuits. He moved to the living area, sitting on the couch. This couch was picked up from someone on the Internet. It was old and rickety, but at least they had one. He dipped the biscuit in his tea and let the taste was over him. Just a year with him. Just a year and he’ll never see him during the day anyways.

This will be a terrible year.

* * *

**Bee**

  
Bee didn’t know what they were expecting for their roommate, but they definitely weren’t expecting Anthony. A tall and skinny red-haired man, donning all black and vintage sunglasses who was averagely handsome (or maybe a bit more than average). He had a similar style to Bee and a realistic attitude that brought them up whenever they were down. He also had a grasp on gender only another trans person would have. He was pretty much the perfect man.

Bee would come in during the night, seeing Anthony as he slept. He was so peaceful and he glowed silver in the milky, iridescent moonlight. It could be considered creepy, sure, but he was gorgeous. His bed head was glorious, the tangle of sweet wine all disheveled made him even more pulchritudinous. They just want to slip into bed with him and get tangled in his long limbs and smell his musky, overused cologne smell. They wanted him.

However, of course, Bee was getting ahead of themself. And they knew they were getting ahead of themself. They had only just met the man. They barely knew one another and they’ve only been friends for about a week. It’s just, their infatuation was building. Every night they’d find something new to love about him. They were an addict and Anthony was their drug.

Obviously, in the old-fashioned Bee Bubbles style, they didn’t talk about their feelings. Not to anyone. Not even to a diary they had stuffed under their pillow for situations just like this. They kept it bottled up in their chest and never spoke a single word of it. Not even when the bile of the topic raised in their throat would it dance on their tongue and leave. Anthony didn’t know of the desire held by Bee and that’s how it should be. No one knew and Bee was saved from shattering their badass image.

Living with Anthony also was so simple. He was helpful and kept to himself, but wasn’t opposed to conversation. Sometimes they would lay in their separate beds and talk. Talk and talk all night and sometimes say nothing at all. Sometimes Anthony would bring home his favorite scotch or whiskey and they would have competitions to see who could out drink each other. Anthony had won each time (he was a Scot, so of course he won), but Bee didn’t talk much about it. They preferred citrus frou-frou drinks, but they didn’t tell Anthony that.

One night, Anthony came to their dorm from his day job, pulling off his hat and jacket, hanging it on a coat rack they had acquired from his mother. It was pouring outside, harder than it usually does in England, so he was drenched. He pulled off his boots after taking a seat on the couch next to Bee.

Bee placed a hand on his shoulder. “How was work? It’s pourin’ out there,” they commented.

Anthony shrugged. “I manage,” he responded. He pulled off his rain-splattered sunglasses and tossed them on their old coffee table Bee had gotten from someone online.

“Isn’t it hard to see with those damn things on?” Bee asked. Bee hated those sunglasses. They liked them, sure, and they thought they looked nice on Anthony, but they knew he was only wearing them to hide his eyes. The first thing that struck Bee about Anthony (besides the flaming hair) were his eyes. They were a striking yellow. He insisted that they were just light amber and it wasn’t anything to ogle at, Bee couldn’t help themself. They were the most beautifully crafted mix of gold and yellow, as if God herself mixed the color and painted it on his irises like some divine artist.

He shook his head simply. “No.”

Bee pushed his wet hair back, sighing. “I brought back some fish and chips. They’re sitting in the kitchen if you want any.”

“Aye,” he mumbled, getting up. He sauntered into the kitchen, Bee paying close attention to the way his hips moved. His walk was ultra-feminine, as if he never learned how to walk like a man. That was all fine, though. Bee quite liked the swing of his pelvis.

“Broadchurch is on tonight,” Bee turned around to say to him. They gripped the back of the couch. “You like that show? I quite think you look like David Tennant.”

Anthony snorted, coming back with all of the fish and chips with bottles of ketchup and brown sauce. “D’you think?”

“Yeah’r I think!”

He shrugged. “Thanks, I guess.”

“You guess?” Bee scoffed. “He’s the sexiest man alive, I tell you what.”

Anthony took a questioning and playful smile. “You think I’m sexy?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Bee was so glad they were wearing concealer or else Anthony would’ve seen their face light up crimson. “You are so genuinely un-fuckin’-bearable.”

Anthony just laughed in return. “You don’t mean that.”

And they spent the rest of the night watching TV.

* * *

**Gabriel**

  
Azzy was even more unbearable than Gabriel could have imagined. He was always so chipper and optimistic, never able to be put in a bad mood. He also only ate; and only ate junk. Constantly, he offered Gabriel some, too. He understood Azzy was trying to be polite, but didn’t he get the hint? That he was a lean, mean, fight machine who didn’t want to end up looking like that? Still, he trudged on. At least Azzy showed no interest in him.

Oh, and how Azzy’s accent bothered the heavens out of him. How expressively he talked, how it sounded like he was climbing and descending hills. He had finally asked why he sounded like that only three days in. Azzy had looked defensive and dejected at first, but then brightened back up.

“Oh, why yes, my dear boy. I’m actually Welsh. If that’s why you’re wondering why I don’t sound like the English here.” Azzy then gave him his already familiar “I-hope-that-satisfied-you” smile.

So that’s why his hair was so curly and white. His mother fucked a sheep. If his mother did fuck a man, she only turned out with a homosexual for a son. Poor woman.

He couldn’t wait for when it was time for class so they could avoid each other. He was extremely glad Azzy spent most of his time in the library or quietly reading. Gabe could move about, getting ready for school without being disturbed. He’s longing for the school year to end already, just so he can continue on without being held with this Welsh pansy. Still, he trudges on.

* * *

**Anthony**

  
Anthony had been extremely nervous about moving into his dorm. About what his roommate would say or how they’d react. If they would feel comfortable rooming with someone like him. He, however, had been incredibly lucky. As if angels had been watching over him, he was roomed with someone like him, someone who understands completely.

Bee had warmed up to him immediately. Anthony had deeply appreciated that, as Bee would always support him and help him with anything he needed. When he spoke, they’d listen. They were the rock he needed for so long. His nervousness melted away, sizzling like butter on a hot skillet. It would be a new chapter of his life.

The night before school had started, he walked in, tired from his job. He worked part-time at a small restaurant just a few miles past. Tonight, he got an added bonus, so he decided he could splurge some. Walking in, with bags on his arms, Bee perked up when they saw him.

“Oi, what’s this?” They got up, helping a bag from his arm.

“I got a bonus. Decided to get us some food.” He smiled at them, setting the bags down on the coffee table. He pulled off his sunglasses, golden eyes shimmering. “Unless you don’t want some?” he said playfully.

“Don’t be daft, you Scot, of course I want some,” they retorted in their harsh Yorkshire accent.

“Hey, now,” he sat on the couch, “tread lightly. You know we Scots are proud. And angry.”

Bee just laughed in return, opening up the food. They immediately started to contentedly eat.

Anthony turned on the tele, leaning back. He breathed out the day, shoulders relaxing. The show was mindless and the food filled him up before he knew it. He sprawled out on the couch, leaning his head back. He glanced over at Bee, feeling eyes on him. They looked away after a split second of eye contact. He just shrugged, pushing himself off of a couch.

“I’m going to take a shower, yeah? Unless you wanna go first?”

Bee shook their head. “Go ahead. The bathroom is yours.”

He promptly nodded, going to wash off his deeds of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave kudos xxx
> 
> Drunk on You :: Oh Wonder


	3. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being smitten is a funny thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish I was a pilot on your spaceship  
> Wish it was two of us in endless flight  
> Wish we had a planet we can name it  
> Guess I'm thinkin' 'bout you all the time

**Azzy**

Azzy had a blast on his first day. He had the first half of his classes today and he had gotten along well with all his teachers and the majority of his classmates. His day was like a contented present wrapped up in a bow. University wouldn’t be hell as he thought. 

His first class was English Language with Professor Young. He was a stuffy man but he got through everything efficiently enough that he finished it all in the class period. And it was the same way all the way to his maths class in the afternoon. He sat at the front as he classically does, hands perched in front of him proudly. 

A slender boy sat right next to him, boots clunking as he walked. Azzy looked over, catching a good look at him. His hair was red as flame and he looked welcomingly mysterious in the dark sunglasses he sported. Azzy decided not to bother him and to just leave him. He just got out his pencils and sat at attention. 

Only when the boy tapped him on the shoulder, did he look up. A smile was carved into his sharp face, teeth white and gleaming. “Hey, uh, I’m Anthony.”

Azzy gave him a pleased and polite smile in return. “Oh! Pleased to meet you, Anthony. I’m Azzy.”

“Azzy,” Anthony repeated the name to himself. “Is that short for anything?”

Azzy blushed slightly, leaning in. “Aziraphale,” he whispered, glancing around. “Please don’t tell anyone, though. It’s just Azzy, yeah?”

Anthony nodded, giving a smile that was friendly yet devilish. “I like the name Azzy. Nice to meet you, too.”

Azzy turned his attention to the teacher when he started talking, resting his chin on his palm. The class wasn’t interesting, as it was the same as all the others. He glanced over to Anthony every once in a while, who looked bored out of his mind. That was alright, though, Azzy couldn’t really blame him for that. Every first day class was tedious to say the least. In the grand scheme of things, though, an hour and a half isn’t that long. 

When class was over, everyone got up, filing out of the room. Azzy stood up, picking up his school supplies. He turned around to meet eye to eye with Anthony.

Anthony smiled at him, glancing away for a moment. “Hey, uh, Azzy, you wanna get to know each other better? I don’t really have many friends here.”

“Oh, dear boy, neither do I. I suppose we could. I live in dorm 103. If you want to come by sometime.”

Anthony nodded, shifting feet as if the floor was hot coals. “Yes. I live in dorm 110. Same floor-” He smiled, but his eyes were close to scared. “But, uh, only if you want-- I mean it’s not necessary if you don’t want to, you know? Like-”

Azzy shook his head to silence him. “No, that sounds lovely. You’re the only person who’s made an effort to get to know anyone so far. Respectable really.”

Anthony’s face lit up like a candle. “Yes. Yes! Would coming by tonight be alright? I- I have work, uh, after this. I get off at 6. Would that be okay?”

Azzy nodded, face contorting slightly into worry. He hoped Anthony was alright. He seemed all jittery and nervous. “Yes, that would be lovely.”

“Wonderful!” Anthony nodded quickly. “Yes, yes. Well, I’ve got to go.” He turned around, leaving promptly. Then Azzy stood for a moment, feeling suddenly alone. 

* * *

**Bee**

The first day was tough. Especially without Anthony by their side. Bee tried though. At first they did, at least. Bee’s version of trying was if it didn’t go right the first time, they stop caring. Trying was too hard and nothing much came out of it anyways. 

They were day dreaming the whole time, thinking about when they could go back to their dorm with food and wait for Anthony so they could drink and watch the tele. They loved their little routine. Anthony and Bee even shared a bed last night. They had gotten a bit tipsy, and piled into his bed, wrapping their arms around each other. 

Anthony smelled so good. His hair was so soft. His body was so warm. Bee hadn’t slept that well in years, especially just having moved into university. They didn’t like to sleep in new places, but again, they didn’t tell Anthony that. They just let him assume that they just were drunk enough to cuddle with him for a night then never again. 

When they woke up, it wasn’t as awkward as it could’ve been. Anthony shifted, waking up Bee who was clung to him. He shook them slightly to get them up and stood up. It was silent for only a moment before Anthony said something (Lucifer bless him). 

“Do you want to take a shower first or me?” 

Bee sat up, brushing their bangs down. “Can I?” 

When Anthony nodded, they grabbed their clothes for the day and went straight for the bathroom. Bee quickly closed the door and locked it. They turned on the shower to as hot as humanly bearable and let it run. 

Bee looked at themself in the mirror. Their blue eyes reeked of desperation and they felt something inside them. It tingled to their chest and to their fingers and toes. It spread all through them, making their knees jelly. It was want. It was longing for something that was right in front of them but they couldn’t quite reach. 

Bee discarded their clothes onto the misted bathroom tiles and stepped under the intense water. It soaked them thoroughly, making them brush their bangs back to keep from water getting in their eyes. Their arms hung heavy, as if they were made from brick and bone. They rubbed their lower abdomen, closing their eyes. Should they?

Bee never felt masturbation was something to be ashamed of. It was natural and it was good for overall mental health. But this was Anthony. A man they had just met over a week ago. Still, his scent still on them made them want it. They wanted it so bad. Goddamnit, they wanted  _ him. _

They moved their hands down and let themself have it. It was slow at first, how they’d imagine Anthony to treat them. Slow and loving, using his fingers skillfully to make them love him even more than they already do. Then, not being a proud man, he’d use his tongue. He’d love them just right, just how they wanted. 

They leaned on their palm that was pressed up against the side of the shower. Their legs could barely hold them up as pleasure washed through them and their session was done. Their breath came out in rushed, short pants for a moment after they were finished. 

It took Bee a second to snap out of it. To snap out of their passionate trance and actually wash themself. They really didn’t want to at first. They didn’t want to strip themselves of the scent that was Anthony Crowley. Still, they did and didn’t gripe about it. They left the bathroom once done and fully dressed. They went to go and prepare for the rest of the day. 

It was odd today, though. Usually when Bee wanks off in the morning, they feel better for the rest of the day. This morning, though, it just made them feel tired. They wouldn’t stop drifting off to their own world and floating in an ocean of thoughts and dreams. They didn’t listen in class (not like it mattered today, though) and they didn’t really wish to.

When Bee got to their dorm, they expected to be alone the next three hours like they usually were. They expected to sit down and watch TV or draw on their tablet while waiting for Anthony to come with food like he had promised today. And they did, for the most part. For two hours and 30 minutes, the dorm was silent and tranquil. Then there was a knock on the door. 

Bee’s eyebrows threaded together. Anthony didn’t usually knock and they weren’t expecting any visitors. Still, they got up, discarding their drawing and opened the door. The man on the other side was someone they had never seen before. He was a smiley man with a round body, round cheeks, and round curls in his hair.

“Yes?” Bee just said. “Can I help you?”

“Hello! Uh, I was wondering, does an Anthony live here?” His voice was sing-songy and smooth. He was Welsh.

“Yeah…? He’s out, though.”

The man’s smile faltered. “He told me he got off at six?”

Bee nodded. “Yeah, but it takes him a bit to get here. He’s gettin’ food. Is he in trouble or somethin’?”

The man looked almost shocked. “Oh, dear heavens, no! He invited me over. I’m Azzy. Uh, is he usually in trouble?”

Bee shook their head, feeling something ugly spark in them. Jealousy. “No, he’s not. Just wonderin’.” They pulled away from the door to let Azzy in. “I’m Bee.”

Azzy nodded, looking around. “Nice to meet you, dear Bee. Are you Anthony’s roommate? I didn’t know they housed men with--”

“I’m not a woman,” Bee cut him off before he could finish. They went and sat down on the couch, picking up their drawing tablet again. “Never was, never will be.”

Azzy nodded. “Oh, my, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Bee just shrugged and they sat in silence.

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel’s classes were fine. He was glad they were fine. He was glad he didn’t have to see Azzy much anymore and his teachers were friendly. Many girls in his class appreciated a nice American accent and that made him feel nice. There was one specific girl he sought after when he spoke to her at once. 

Michael was her name. Odd name for a woman, but she was highly respectable. She dressed conservatively and had her hair up in a nice bun. She didn’t draw attention to herself and was reserved as all females should be. Her makeup was light, if barely there at all. She didn’t falsely advertise her face or make a scene. 

Her accent wasn’t obnoxiously British and her voice was steady and calm. She didn’t seem easily aggravated or irrational. She spoke when it was her turn and always kept a pleasant smile on her face. She was nice to look at.

Then when Gabriel asked her out for dinner one night, she didn’t make a scene.

“Oh?” she questioned. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

Gabriel chuckled slightly. “I guess I am. Are you interested?”

Michael tilted her head from side to side, as if she was thinking. “I suppose I am. Where would you be taking me?”

Gabriel thought for a moment. “I don’t know. Haven’t lived here long. If you know a place you would like to go to by say… Friday? Then I can take you there.”

She pressed her lips together in a smile. “Why, thank you. And I thought England had the gentlemen.”

Gabriel shook his head. “Of course, I’m a gentleman. That’s how I was raised.”

Michael giggled at him and he continued on with his day, as happy as can be. 

* * *

**Anthony**

The first day was hard on Anthony. He was never the best at school, but he knew he needed to get through. He needed to earn a good income to make himself happy. Besides, he was passionate and anyone should know how Scots are when they get passionate. He pushed himself harder than anyone else would push themselves. 

However, just as he walked into his last class of the day, a man, the most beautiful man caught his eye. His skin was milky, his hair flaxen and winding. He had a precious pudgy posterior. The sight of him made Anthony tremble in his Doc Martens. 

He sat next to the boy in his seat, palms perspiring. He inhaled and exhaled to his core, tapping him on his shoulder. He introduced himself, beginning to ask him out. Then the teacher started talking. He inwardly groaned, closing his eyes. At least he had more time to work up courage. Whatever that was. 

When it was time to go, Anthony got the boy’s, Azzy’s, attention. He then asked him out. Ish. He invited him back to his dorm room to hang out. Essentially the same, right? Still, when Azzy said yes, Anthony’s day brightened up more than anything has in a while. A smile wouldn’t leave his face. His shoulders and head were held high. 

After work, he headed home with some food from Greggs. He got a meal that could feed two families. He knew how hungry he and Bee were, and he offered Azzy some food. There needed to be enough to feed his voluptuous thighs. He had only met him, but he imagined how epicurean he could be. 

He opened up the door to their dorm, meeting eyes with both Bee and Azzy. They looked like they had been in the middle of a conversation. 

“Sorry,” Anthony frowned, setting the food down on the coffee table. “Did I leave you two waiting? Sorry, the line was hell.”

Azzy shook his head, face lighting up. “No! It is quite alright, dear boy. We are quite alright. Bee is quite interesting.”

Bee gave Anthony a smile. “You hear that? Your new friend likes me.”

Anthony sat between Bee and Azzy. “Oh really?” He opened up the food. “What’s so interesting about this piece of shit?”

“Hey!” they laughed. 

“Oh, dear, please,” Azzy laughed. “I’ve never met a Satanist before.”

Anthony shrugged, digging into his food. “Did you put the kettle on, Bee?”

They shook their head.

Anthony tsked. “Rude.” He got up. “I’ll go put the kettle on. You two eat. What kind of tea do you drink, Azzy?”

“Oh dear,” Azzy fussed. “You don’t need to.”

Anthony opened the cabinets, pulling out what they had. “You like Earl Grey?”

Azzy sighed. “Yes. I do.”

Soon Anthony came back with some tea, sugars, cream, and whiskey. “Do you drink? Sorry if you don’t, but Bee and I like a few drinks during the night.”

Azzy shrugged. “I guess one won’t kill me.”

Anthony gave him a toothy smile. “Wonderful.”

When they started drinking and eating, everything loosened up. They laughed at the tele when it wasn’t even funny, they told stories from secondary school. The night ended with Anthony’s head in Azzy’s lap. His lips were parted, face flushed. He felt like nothing could happen in this time.

Around 10, Azzy shifted. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I should be going.”

Anthony sat up quickly. “Are you sure?”

The blonde nodded. “Yes, I apologize. I need to be ready for tomorrow.”

Anthony nodded in return. “Of course. I will walk you back to your dorm.”

He shook his head. “That’s really not--”

“I insist.” 

Finally, Azzy agreed. He followed Anthony out of his dorm and they walked up the hall, just seven rooms. They stopped by the room, Azzy turned to talk to him. “Thank you for inviting me, Anthony. I had a great time.”

Anthony smiled. “Of course. You can come over any time.” He looked him in the eyes, leaning forward deliberately. Their lips inched closer and closer… Azzy put his hand on Anthony’s chest.

“What… What are you doing?”

Anthony swallowed. “S-sorry?” His face turned redder than his hair, stomach rising in his throat.

Azzy pulled away. “I’m sorry, Anthony… You’re a good man, but, uh… I’m sorry. I don’t… I’m not interested. At least yet--”

Anthony nodded. “Yeah, no, yeah! Yeah, no. I understand… I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I guess I didn’t read the room. Uh, I’m sorry. See you in a few days.”

Azzy nodded. “I wouldn’t mind going out for dinner again, but, uh,” he fidgeted, “I must go.” He pulled away quickly and pushed his way into his dorm room, leaving Anthony alone and sad in the hallway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you are liking this story, please make sure to leave kudos! it is very much appreciateddd x
> 
> Nothing But You :: Oh Wonder


	4. This Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're in my head, you're in my blood  
> And it feels so good, it hurts so much

**Azzy**

After his date with Anthony, Azzy couldn’t look himself in the eye. Whenever he took a shower, he couldn’t look in the mirror. He felt constant pity and empathy for the man he turned down. Azzy was completely genuine when he said Anthony was a good man. He believed Anthony was handsome and kind. He just… Didn’t know him that well. That’s all he wanted to do. He just wanted to sit down and speak to Anthony for hours each day. He just didn’t need to be like that with him yet. 

When they had class together, Azzy would speak to him, hoping to get a non-awkward response. 

“Did you have a good day yesterday?” he asks.

Anthony looks up, as if he’s surprised Azzy is talking to him. “Uh, yeah. Good day. How are you…? How was your day yesterday?”

Azzy nodded sadly. “Yes, I had a good time yesterday. It just was like the first day all over again. Very tedious.”

“Yeah,” Anthony responded, either mindlessly or deep in thought. Azzy searched his face to tell, but he kept himself a mystery. 

“Thank you for having me over the other night,” Azzy spoke up. Anthony’s face darkened and Azzy immediately felt a pit in his stomach grow. He decided maybe he could salvage it. “I wouldn’t mind hanging out again. Maybe at my dorm this time. Though, my roommate isn’t the kindest--”

“It’s fine, Aziraphale,” Anthony cut him off. 

Azzy’s face fell at the statement of his real name. It was irritated and snappy, akin to his mother telling him off. He swallowed. “Right, I’m sorry.”

There was silence until the teacher started lecturing. Azzy wanted to say more to him. He longed to say something to the redheaded boy. An apology, a plan for another night out. He just wanted to get to know him. 

When the teacher was done, Azzy grabbed Anthony’s shoulder before he could get up. “Anthony, I understand you feel attracted to me and it’s okay. That’s why I want to hang out with you more. So I can get to know you better.”

Anthony just stared at him. Deep into his soul with those yellow eyes. Well into the night two nights ago, Anthony had taken his glasses off, to reveal his striking blinders. When he caught Azzy staring, he started talking like he does this all the time. He explained they were just light amber and not very special but Azzy found them unique and charming. 

Anthony nodded. “Right. We can do tonight, yeah?”

Azzy nodded. “Quite good! Yes, will you be working again tonight?”

Anthony nodded. “Every day, except Fridays and Saturdays.”

“Same time?”

“Same time.”

Azzy gave him a glowing smile, something that radiated warmth. “Good. Tonight it is, then.” He then let Anthony go to his job while he headed back to his dorm to get ready. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee hated Azzy. Now, don’t get them wrong, they didn’t hate Azzy. Azzy was polite and gentlemanly and he seemed very astute. However, he hurt Anthony. Bee didn’t know what had transpired on that short walk to and from the end of the hallway, but they knew it was nothing good. When Anthony came in, his shoulders were slumped, his face crestfallen. When Bee asked him what was wrong, he insisted he was fine. However, they knew better. They knew Anthony better than anyone else ever. 

Then Azzy had the fucking nerve to come over again while they were there. He said that Anthony had invited him over, but he never rubbed them the right way. Being around him made them feel like a cat being pet backwards. Everytime Aziraphale spoke, they stayed quiet or answered vaguely. They assumed he soon got the hint and shut up.

After about 30 minutes of silence, Anthony came back. In hand, he had plenty of wine and a Tesco Meal Deal. He set both necessities down, getting glasses from the kitchen.

“You two can dig in if ya’d like,” he called to the living area. Bee looked back at him as he stood on his tiptoes, smiling dreamily. 

Azzy went ahead and started eating his food, smiling through mouthfuls. He gave Anthony a meaningful glance when he came back. Bee couldn’t stand it. They took a glass from Anthony’s hands and pumped it full of wine.

“Woah, now,” Anthony laughed. “Save some for us.” He settled himself next Azzy, handing him a glass.

Bee shook their head after swallowing a sip. “Sorry, I just had a long day.” That wasn’t a whole lie. Staying with Azzy alone felt like forever, let alone a day. 

Anthony snorted, turning to talk to Azzy. And that’s how it stayed all night. Whenever it was past Azzy’s bedtime, he got up, insisting he must go. He must go to bed at 10 o’clock like some infant. 

Anthony willingly nodded, touching Azzy on the arm, leading him out. They stood in front of the closed door after leaving. Bee knew because they heard them. They heard the usual late-night pleasantries. “Thank you for having me” and the like. Then there was a silence and a choked out word. 

“You go too fast for me, Anthony,” was uttered and footsteps receded up the hallway. Bee’s insides twisted. Their insides burned.

Anthony soon came in, looking the same as the other night.  _ Disgusting.  _ This whole situation was disgusting and unfair. Bee could give everything to Anthony. They could him all the support, love, and sex he could ever dream of, yet here he was, yearning after someone who doesn’t want him. His heart was bleeding from his chest and there was someone in front of him who could kiss it all better. It was complete  **bullshit.**

When Anthony recluded to his room to be by himself, Bee went to the shower, sighing. They had nothing better to do.

* * *

**Gabriel**

The date with Michael was stellar. She was interesting and neurotic. She was lively yet reserved and quiet. She ordered nice food that showed she had taste, but nothing outrageously expensive that showed she had manners. Her outfit was conservative and appropriate while still being beautiful and just a little bit sexy (not that Gabriel was that kind of man on the first date). She really did seem to be the perfect woman. 

He walked her back to her dorm, holding her hand. They made genuine small talk on the way there. Gabriel could see her eyes shimmering with a good time. Her mouth was drawn up in a complimenting smile and her whole face was illuminating the room. She truly was gorgeous. 

Before letting her back into her dorm, Gabriel leaned down and kissed her. A nice, slow, chaste kiss. The kind of kiss that would only happen on first dates. Michael leaned her head to the right, letting Gabriel place the soft kiss on her lips. They stand there for a moment after, everything electrified. 

“It’s time for me to go,” she said, voice barely a breath. “Thank you for having me. It was a nice night.”

“Thank you for coming,” Gabriel responded. “I’m glad you had a nice night, because I did, too.”

She smiled at him sheepishly. “Goodnight, Gabriel.”

“Goodnight, Michael.”

She turned and walked inside, closing the door behind her. 

* * *

**Anthony**

_ “You go too fast for me, Anthony.” _

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Azzy had spent all class period, telling him he wanted to come over again. He talked about how he wanted to get to know Anthony and talk to him more and more. But then he pulled that move? What the hell was that supposed to mean? This is why Anthony lays in his bed, wondering. 

Anthony didn’t go to sleep that night. Even after Bee cozied up in their warm bed and started snoring, Anthony tossed and turned. He didn’t understand why he would do that. He didn’t understand why boys had to be so confusing. 

When he first walked through the doors of this university, he imagined he would be stressed by homework or assignments. Not by boys who didn’t make any sense. It was tougher than he imagined, this first week. But not because school was getting him down. It was that curly haired Welshman plaguing every moment of his thoughts. 

He rolled over in bed, glancing at Bee’s sleeping form. They were curled up under their covers and he couldn’t help but laugh at their tininess. They were 5’1 and boney. Still, they were the toughest person Anthony knew. He wanted to ask Bee for advice, but he knew how brutal they could be. They’d probably say something like “block his number and cut off his kneecaps.”

Anthony couldn’t help but smile at the thought. Bee was a great friend and they’d know exactly what to say at this moment. Still, he wouldn’t bother them while they were asleep. He’s seen a tired Bee Bubbles already and it is scary. 

_ It’s kind of odd _ , Anthony thought,  _ how close Bee and I have grown over two weeks.  _ A smile spread on his face at the sweet thought and sleep finally took him in its warm arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed it, please leave kudos and a comment! I live off of feedback xoxo
> 
> About Love :: Marina


	5. Scab and Plaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Navigating romance is hard for some, easier for others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like a little kid, puffing out my lips  
> I'mma freak, freak out  
> If you let me down, if you let me down

**Azzy**

It had been a few weeks since Azzy had turned Anthony down and they were hanging out more regularly. Nothing seemed awkward between them anymore. They could have a flowing conversation all night without stopping. Their words would dance on streams of moonlight and kept waltzing until Apollo greeted them. There were points that no alcohol had to be involved to allow the breeze of their conversation. It was quite gorgeous. 

Still, he had a weird feeling about Bee. When he had first met Bee, he quite liked them. They seemed a bit prickly, but that didn’t mean they were a bad person. They had an interesting style and could draw quite well. When they started talking, they were a talkative, smiley person. However, recently, they avoided him. They wouldn’t talk to him and instead of hanging out with him and Anthony, they’d leave or retire to the bedroom. 

Right now, though, he wasn’t worried about that. Azzy was cooking a microwave meal, humming along to Gwyneth Glyn. Her beautiful words of Welsh graced his ears and filled his heart like a glass of red wine. He tapped his fingers on the counter, waiting for the microwave to beep. 

The door slammed and he turned around abruptly. He smiled emptily when he recognized who it was. “Hello, how was your date with Michael?”

Gabriel’s face went from a smile to a frown. “Yes, it was good. How was your date with… Oh, yeah you’re not with anyone.” 

Azzy frowned, face turning sour, but only for a second. His face lifted again. “Actually, if you must know, I am dating someone. The nice boy from dorm 110.”

Gabriel dropped his coat. “I knew you were a homosexual!”

Azzy took a step back, face contorting into confusion. “Uh, yes. Is that a problem?”

Gabriel shook his head. “Oh no.” He bent over and picked up his coat. “No. I have no problem with that lifestyle.”

The blond’s face contorted as he stayed quiet for a split second. The microwave beeped. “You know, Gabriel, you describing my sexual orientation as a ‘lifestyle’ implies that it’s something that I chose. So, I suppose you do have a problem with it.” Then with that, Azzy turns his back, grabbing his food from the microwave and leaves the dorm.

* * *

**Bee**

When the doorbell rang, Bee felt all of their skin itch and guts burn as if they’ve consumed a thousand ants. They know who it was immediately and they prayed to Satan if they just ignored it, he would go away. They closed their eyes, inhaling deeply and getting up. They pulled the door open, seeing it was him, that blond dunce.

“Whot?” they glared up at him. He was pressed a cup of noodles close to his chest, like a fucking weirdo. 

He smiled nervously, face pale. “Is Anthony here?”

“No.” They said simply.

His face darkened. “Oh, do you know where he is?”

“Yes.” A beat. 

Azzy put his head to the side. “Yeah. Uh, did he tell you where he is?”

“Of course he told  _ me _ where he is. He’s in the library, studying.” 

Azzy tensed up and they could feel something happening. He inhaled, closing his eyes. “I really cannot think of a goddamn reason why you’re so egregiously rude to me.”

The heart in Bee’s chest stung, being stricken by an arrow. They reared up with the mere emotion on their face. “You want to know why I’m so rude? Why did you take Anthony from me?!”

Azzy’s eyebrows threaded together. “What? You get to see him all the time, regardless if he’s seen me or not!”

Bee’s eyes stung, their throat scratching. They cleared it. “He’s mine! He was meant to be mine!  _ I  _ was supposed to be the love of  _ his _ life! It isn’t fucking fair! I love him and you… You don’t even know what you want from him and he’s chasing after you like a sick puppy just to even get a kiss from you!” Their voice cracked, so they softened. “I can give him whatever he likes and he doesn’t even bat an eye on how much better I am for him.”

There were a few moments of silence between them. Bee got rid of all their energy and Azzy was trying to process the words spoken to him.

“You know,” he began. “He might like you more if you weren’t so possessive.” Azzy then turned his back, leaving Bee standing in the doorway. 

They backed up, slamming the door. Their jaw quivered and they let out a shattered sob. They grabbed one of Anthony’s hats from the coat rack and threw it to the ground. They stomped on it, once, twice, repeatedly. Tears started streaming down their face, skin turning red. 

“You sick bastard!” they screamed to the sky. 

They fell to their knees, tears wetting the floor under them. “Satan, please…” they sobbed again. They touched their forehead to the floor. “I’m begging you… You know I don’t beg. Why can’t I just love someone and they love me back? That is all I want.” 

Bee stayed in that position for a moment, sniffling, tears waterlogging the hardwood. They sat up, breath still uneven. They looked at the crumbled and defeated hat laying across from them, a low growl started in their throat. They reached over, taking it in their small fingers, standing up. They walked over the window of their kitchenette, unlocking it and chucking the hat as far as they could. They went back to the couch, picking up their unfinished drawing once again. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabe’s relationship with Michael had been better than ever over this month. They had gone into each other’s dorms and hung out late into the night. Their love burned like a candle and scorched until the morning. He had kissed her many times when the times were just right and he would feel breathless after each time. 

He hadn’t yet given her his love, but he thought it was best to wait for that. He wanted to wait until they were married, ideally. They had grown extremely close and he was grateful for that. She had even taken him to her church. Yeah, she was a prodestant, but he could accept her for who she was. 

He also loved how being with her reduced his time seeing Azzy. If he wasn’t at her dorm or out someone with her, he would be in his own dorm with Michael. Azzy didn’t ever seem to want to bother them. He probably didn’t want to get around a woman that wasn’t his own mother. After his small fight with his roommate, he couldn’t stand to look him in the eye. Gabriel couldn’t quite comprehend why Azzy accused him to be homophobic. He had no problem with homosexuals. He was just reacting as Gabriel feared: sensitively. 

Still, Gabe had his arm around Michael, sitting on her couch. They were watching TV, but talking and mainly ignoring it. His hand was in her long, beautiful hair, her leaning against him. Their conversation was mindless, but that didn’t matter to him. Any conversation with her was intelligent and of depth. 

His other hand was entangled in hers. His nose was so close to hers. He watched her brown eyes glow with conversation. She laughed by throwing her head back and chuckling so sensibly. She was gorgeous and perfect. Something about her made his heart beat fast and his insides tickle. He felt like he was going to burst. 

“Michael, I'm in love with you.”

Her smile stopped, eyes widening. “Oh, Gabriel…” 

He knew what that meant. He sighed, putting his head down. “I’m sorry, I should go.” He reached over to grab his coat before Michael grabbed his wrist. 

“No, Gabriel. I’m not mad. You’re a good man. I think I love you, too.”

Blue and yellow swirled in his chest. “What? You think?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I haven’t known you for very long, but… Yes, I do.”

Relief let go of Gabriel, allowing him to surge forward and take Michael’s lips up in a kiss. He held her face and she held his, pulling each other closer and closer. They didn’t stop, they just kept spiraling into passion and love for one another. Gabriel hasn’t lived here for very long, but he believed in Great Britain they called it ‘snogging.’

Finally, they detached from one another, breath heaving and eyes glossy. Gabe knew that they would never forgive themselves if they gave up their bodies before marriage. 

A smile spread on Michael’s face and fixed up her disheveled hair. “I guess you have to go?”

Gabriel stood up. “Yes, I have to go. Can I see you tomorrow?”

She giggled, leading him to the door. “There’s never a day you can’t see me, babe.”

He pecked her lips. “Bye, Michael.”

“Goodbye, Gabriel.”

* * *

**Anthony**

It was a stressful time. Anthony had two book assignments, one presentation, and quiz coming up. So he sat in the library, pulling his ginger locks out by the fistfuls. He had already finished two things he needed to do (thank god), but he still slumped the library table, trying to figure out what the fuck calculus even  _ is _ . 

He sighed, pressing his forehead against the desk. He let out a frustrated groan just as someone touched him on the shoulder. His head shot up, turning around. His eyes met the beautiful smile of Azzy Fell, making him melt.

“Oh, Az--”

Azzy sat down next to him, setting his food down. “Shwmae, my dear. Are you having troubles?”

Anthony nodded, more worried about the food. “Uh, you’re not supposed to eat in here, you know.”

“Yes, of course I know, you dunce,” he said playfully, opening the noodles and beginning to eat. “I would know more than anyone else. I was more focused on you. Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“No offense, my angel, but I don’t think you can help that much with this. I’m a computer science major. You’re majoring in English.”

Azzy frowned softly. “Can I give you emotional support?”

Anthony took his hand, threading their fingers together. “Of course, dear. You’re always welcome for emotional support.”

Azzy smiled pleasantly, leaning forward slightly. “Good, because I love being around you.” He then closed the gap between them, pressing their lips together. 

Anthony was so close to sputtering and ruining the moment, but he remained calm, kissing him back. He rested a hand on his plump, rosy cheek, eyes shuttering closed. They stayed there for a moment. However, Azzy pulled away before someone could call them out on excessive PDA. 

“Well,” Anthony said, a bit dazed.

Azzy frowned softly. “That was okay, wasn’t it? I didn’t coerce you into doing that, right?”

The ginger boy shook his head. “God, no. Thank you, angel. My morale is properly boosted.” He turned in his seat to finish his work while Azzy started eating his noodles. 

“Good,” Azzy said between mouthfuls. “Now keep working. I want to spend time with you tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos if you enjoy it! I live off of feedback and it keeps me motivated. Also, make sure to leave a little book mark if you want to finish it but just can't. Happy Valentine's Day, y'all! x
> 
> Runaway :: Hayley Kiyoko


	6. Cuz I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought that I didn't care  
> I thought that I was love impaired  
> But baby, baby  
> I don't know what I'm gon' do  
> I'm crying cuz I love you

**Azzy**

After their kiss in the library and Anthony was all done with his homework, the two went to Azzy’s dorm. They practically stepped on each other’s feet trying to get there quick enough. They went to his bedroom and had a sweet, drawn-out snogging session. Their wet making out sounds probably drove Gabriel out of the room because he didn’t come in until they were cuddling and half asleep.

They finished when they were both out of breath and their lips were red and sore. Anthony was pressed down against the mattress, collarbones striking in the moonlight, peering out from his half open shirt. His hair was a mess and his glasses were askew across the carpet somewhere. The whole image was particularly prurient which made Azzy feel a certain level of shame. He had only just kissed the man today, he didn’t need to end it with something entirely more.

They were huddled up together in their pajamas, pressing against each other. Anthony’s head was pressed against Azzy’s chub, slightly squeezing it every once in a while. Azzy ran his hands across Anthony’s flat chest, fingers finding the pinkish scars under his pecs. They were so straight and perfect, almost too much so. 

“What are these scars from?” 

Anthony looked down, eyes shooting wide when he realized what his boyfriend was talking about. He swallowed. “It’s nothing, really.” 

Azzy frowned. “They look surgical. Did anything happen?”

Anthony was silent for a moment. “I had a subcutaneous mastectomy,” his voice was slight.

His boyfriend narrowed his eyes, touching his chest again. His fingers were feather light against the scarred skin. “What does that mean?”

Another pause. “I had surgery to take my breasts off.”

Another pause. A horrifying pause, causing Anthony’s heart to accelerate faster and faster. His palms sweat and his body shook.

“So you’re transgender?”

“Yes,” his voice shook violently. “You don’t need to say anything. I can go… Please let me go, don’t hurt me. I’m sorry, I know I--”

“Anthony!” Azzy cut off his terrified ramblings. “Of course I won’t hurt you, my dear. You make me so dearly happy, I could care less if you are.”

Anthony inhaled, eyes fluttering shut. He nodded. “Okay, I’m sorry, angel. You make me happy, too. I’m sorry.” He kissed his puffed lips gently. “You don’t care?” he repeated. 

The blond shook his head. “Absolutely not!” He kissed his temple. “Let’s get some sleep, yeah?”

The redhead nodded, cuddling Azzy close. He buried his face in his neck, mumbling something around the lines of “goodnight” or “you’re the best, angel”. 

Azzy rubbed his back, smiling as he fell asleep tangled up in his boyfriend’s limbs .

* * *

**Bee**

Bee sat in the bathroom, tears streaming down their face. Dark trails of mascara curved on their round cheeks. Their eyeliner found itself smeared everywhere on their face and the hearts placed on their cheekbones were worthless blobs. The hot shower running created noise over their sobs and a mist covering the entire room. Their whimpers and sniffles bounced off of the grey tiles, coming back again just as helpless in their ears. 

After their scuffle with Azzy, Anthony hadn’t called them back in hours. He hasn’t responded to any of their texts or Facetimes. It’s like he was ignoring them. They checked the miscalls on the phone.  _ 32 _ . They watched as they scrolled down the messages, their texts becoming more and more desperate. 

Bee hit the call button again. It rang. It rang again. The sound long and draw out, each one sending a flutter to their heart. Once the voicemail hit their ears ( _ This is Anthony J. Crowley, you know what to do, do it with style. _ ) and the beep, they sobbed into the microphone. 

“Call me back, you idiot! Where are you?!” They pressed send, letting the phone hit the floor. 

Their eyeliner pencil traced his name on the skin of their thighs. Once, twice, many times, in many different styles. Hearts were placed around every one of the names, the single name. The object of their deepest desires and needs. He was everything to them. He was their everything and he treated them like dirt. 

Bee caught their breath from their deep sobs, getting up from the toilet. They looked at the mirror, wiping the mist away. Their face was red and defeated, everything smeared and blotchy. They looked like a hot mess. They turned on the faucet, splashing the algid water on their face. They took a washcloth and rubbed it all off, leaving them barefaced. 

They went to turn off the shower and get properly dressed. As they were trying to find some shorts, there was a brisk knock resonating from the living area. They frowned, walking over and opening the door. In front of him was a tall man, probably about their age. His eye looked a bit irate then surprised. Probably at Bee’s half-nakedness. 

“What?” Bee asked, popping their T. 

The man’s nose wrinkled. “Who are you?”

“Who are  _ you _ ?” They narrowed their eyes. “You came to  _ my  _ dorm.”

“Your dorm? I thought this was Anthony’s dorm.” He looked inside the dorm a bit, leaning forward.

“Yeah, we have roommates here, if you wonder who that person who shares a room with you is.” They crossed their arms. 

He shook his head. “I know that! I just didn’t know they house men with women.”

“They don’t.” Bee rolled their eyes, having to explain this for the thousandth time. “I’m not a woman.”

The guy scoffed. “What are you then?”

“I’m non-binary.”

The guy practically laughed in their face. “Right. You wanted to room with guys who could probably rape and murder you just to coddle your identity?”

Bee reached and slapped him as hard as they could on his face. He fell back for a moment, cupping his red and stinging face. They stood still, just watching him.

He looked at them, appalled. “Ow?!”

“I can take care of myself.” They slammed the door, finishing getting ready. They pulled on their jacket and shorts, leaving their dorm. Thank god that fucking cretin wasn’t still in the hallway when they came back out or they would’ve had to slap him again. 

Bee carried themselves outside to the warm early October night. The days have been cooling off since they first started school, but this night was particularly warm this week. They checked the time on their watch as they straddled their motorcycle. It was 24:00. Hopefully it will still be open by now. They pulled on their helmet and rode off. 

Bee had always liked tattoos. They had gotten a bumble bee just above their waistline on their back during their gap year. It had taken a few hours and they were very proud of it. Since they lived around, they knew where the closest parlor was. 

When Bee had gotten there, they greeted the employees, telling them exactly what they wanted. They paid upfront in cash and let the artist start buzzing. Their eyes shut tightly, teeth gritting. This tattoo would be quick unlike their last one. 

When it was done, Bee pulled down their shirt and thanked the employees. They left with Anthony’s name a part of them forever. They loved him more than anything and they will always remember that. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

After that half-naked crazy bitch slapped him in the hallway, Gabe’s brain was scattered. He just needed Anthony’s roommate to know that he was invading his dorm room and wouldn’t go away. Even then, he was thankful he had a place to go. 

He knocked on Michael’s door, smile widening when he saw her open it. “Hey! Michael! Can I stay here tonight? My roommate’s got his boyfriend over and he won’t leave.” 

Michael giggled softly. “Of course, Gabe. Come in. I can put the kettle on if you’d like.” She let him, walking to her kitchen. 

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t have to do that.” He sat down on her couch. “It’s fine.”

Michael walked back in, sitting beside him. “Well, fine. I just want to do something nice for you,” she pouted, laying her legs across his lap. She played with his hair, smiling at him. 

“Oh, my dear,” he placed a hand under her chin, “You’re nice enough just being around me.”

Michael blushed. “Oh, hush.” He turned around slightly so she could lay in his arms. “Just let me watch the tele.”

The door to the dorm opened and someone had walked in. Someone Gabe’s seen before. It was Michael’s dorm mate. “Oh!” she said in a sing-songy voice. “Michael’s got her boyfriend.”

Michael blushed, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. “Shut up, Uriella!” 

“Whatever,” Uriella giggled. “I’m going to bed anyways. Fuck on the couch or whatever you guys do.” 

Michael scoffed, turning crimson. “Oh my gosh!” she yelled at Uriella as she went into the bedroom. She looked at Gabriel. “I’m sorry.”

He was blushing slightly, but smiling. He kissed her temple. “It’s okay, sweetheat.” 

She cuddled up against them and they watched TV for the rest of the night. 

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony’s date with Azzy at the library was magical. Their kiss made him freeze up inside. Even when he did his homework, his mind was lagging with the thought. Azzy had pressed their lips together and kissed. This was probably the best day of his life. 

As he worked, he felt his phone ring and buzz. He didn’t pay attention. He didn’t pay attention as they dragged each other to the dorm. Anthony ignored the noise as he and Azzy snogged on his bed, making suggestive noises and motions. The way Azzy was looking at him, he was surprised his angel didn’t shag him right then and there. 

Anthony didn’t mind, though, and since Azzy clearly was comfortable with his genitals, they’d probably have a blast. Still, they made the decision (and probably the best decision) to just cuddle up and go to sleep. He hadn’t slept that well in a while. He loved cuddling with Bee at night, but it was truly different with someone you love and someone who loves you back.

Just the feeling of Azzy’s warmth and heartbeat against his own was a feeling so significant, that Anthony couldn’t compare it to anything else. He deserved this time with Azzy and nothing less. He loved Azzy more than anything. Being with him all year will make this university thing go by quickly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some feedback, it keeps me alive lol xoxo
> 
> Cuz I Love You :: Lizzo


	7. Peth Creulon ydi Cariad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes being in love hurts.
> 
> (Also brief, nondescriptive, skippable smut in Azzy's chapter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peth creulon ydi cariad,  
> Un arall aeth a hi.

**Azzy**

In the morning, Azzy got up, leaving his drooling boyfriend still asleep in the bed. He stood in the doorway, staring at him for a moment. Anthony was unbelievably skinny, but he made up for it with his out there style and his striking red hair. He was quite so very alluring. How a human being could do it, Azzy didn’t know. 

Azzy turned back around to go and make some coffee. He turned on the radio, humming along to Y Tebot Piws. He swung his hips, tapping his fingers. Welsh music was the only true music that let emotions flow. The language was truly wonderful. 

He soon turned the coffee maker off, pouring some in two cups. He kept dancing and swaying, humming lightly. He reached up to grab some sugars, stopping when he felt hands on his hips. He froze, turning around. It was Anthony.

Azzy turned red, melting into his hands. “Bore da, cariad.”

Anthony leaned forward, capturing his lips against his own. He pulled away, their lips still touching. “It’s sexy when you talk Welsh to me…”

“O, fy nghariad…” A smile grew on his face. “Wyt ti’n ei hoffi?”

Anthony pushed his hips against Azzy’s, squeezing his. “Fuck, my angel.” He kissed his neck messily. “I saw how you were looking at me last night… You wanted to shag me so hard, huh?”

Azzy felt a hard flutter in his chest. His face grew redder. He lowered it, trying to pick out words. “Anthony…”

“Yes, angel?” he purred into his ear. “You do want this, right?”

Azzy nodded shyly. “Yes, dear. Very, very much so…”

Anthony took the permission and ran with it. He slid his hands past his waistband, feeling around with his nimble fingers. Azzy felt pleasure shoot through him, his knees growing weak. “Just for me…” Anthony growled into his ear. 

Azzy turned around, grabbing his boyfriend by the hips and pushing him onto the counter. He pulled his boxers down to his ankles and spread his legs. He felt Anthony shiver as his bare bottom was laid on the kitchen counter. Azzy scrambled to pull down his own pajama pants and underwear. 

Anthony ground his hips up in the air, letting out soft whining noises. He put his hands on his shoulders. “Shag me, Zira,” he growled. 

Azzy grabbed the back of Anthony’s head, pushing deep inside his wet heat. He was so warm and slick and he felt so new around him. It didn’t take him long to snap his hips forward and back to chase more pleasure Anthony gave to him. 

He moaned wantonly into his ear, nipping and sucking on his neck. He pushed his palm against the counter to steady himself. He pressed his body against Anthony’s body. Wet noises filled the room as he thrusted into him. 

Anthony dug his nails into Azzy’s back, arching his own. He was so vocal as he was being pounded, the neighbors could probably hear him. He moaned his name more times than Azzy has ever heard it in his life. 

After a few minutes of them thrusting, groping, and pulling in frantic lust, Azzy finally came and Anthony after him. Spunk covered Anthony all overs. He was panting, head thrown back in the power of his ecstasy. His hair was wet and sticky from the sweat that accumulated on his body. It was the most wonderful image Azzy has ever seen. It was like a painting that he wanted to keep forever.

Sooner or later, Azzy got back in his mind and quickly wetted some paper towels, wiping off his boyfriend. Anthony let a small hiss and then a giggle.

“Azzy, the water’s cold…”

“Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry!” he fussed. Azzy then took a dry paper towel to wipe him dry. “I’m sorry for the mess.”

“Oh, angel, please!” Anthony scoffed. “That was the best time of my life.” He got up, pulling his pants over his shaking legs. “We should do it more.”

Azzy blushed. “Oh, yeah. Yes we should.” 

Anthony grabbed one of the cooled cups of coffee laid out on the counter. He put in some cream and went to sit on the sofa. Azzy followed him after filling his coffee to the brim with sugar and cream. 

“Angel, I don’t understand how you can drink that liquid ice cream.”

Azzy hushed him, taking another sip. “It tastes good. Shut up.”

Anthony shook his head. “Of course it does, angel. How could I doubt your tastes?”

The towheaded boy shrugged, smiling at his boyfriend over his coffee. “I really don’t know.” He shifted over, leaning into Anthony’s arms. They sat in silence for the rest of the morning. 

* * *

  
**Bee**

Bee laid on their bed, hands over the new spot. Over the new tattoo of Anthony’s name. It perched pert and pretty; it balanced there, bold in black under their right breast. The beautiful artistry in the way his nave looked as if it was put there with an impact labeller. It was perfect and it stings just enough to constantly remind them of their love. 

They were crying again, just weeping away the rest of their energy. It was unfair. They loved him. They loved him so much and they were practically being spat in the face. All they wanted was him. Anthony and only Anthony. Authentic Anthony who they loved and who loved them back. 

Bee bolted upright when they heard a commotion from the front room. The door flung open and someone called their name. 

“Anthony?” they called to him. 

Anthony rushed into the room, eyes flooding with relief when he saw them on their bed. He surged forward, wrapping them in a tight embrace. “Oh, my god, I was so worried about you.”

Bee touched his back with trembling hands. He smelled of sex. The pugnant, acrid, disgusting smell of sex. A fire flared inside them. “Why?” they asked in a shaky voice.

“You called and texted me so many times… I thought you were in trouble. I’m sorry for not responding. I wasn’t paying attention to my phone,” he whispered in their ear comfortingly. He pulled away, wiping away their tears. “Are you okay?”

Bee shook their head, not meeting his eyes. 

Anthony frowned. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Were you with Azzy?” they said, trying not to let out another broken weep from their lips. 

Anthony nodded, pushing his fingers under their chin. “Yeah. I was okay.”

“Why is he more important than me?” they asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Anthony threaded his eyebrows together. “What?”

They finally looked him in the eye, speaking up. “I said, ‘why is he more important than me?’ I’m your best friend. I’ve known you for longer.  _ Why _ is he more important than me?”

He shook his head. “No, he’s not more important than you! He never will be. You both are the two greatest people in my life. I swear. I was just distracted. ‘Tis all.”

Bee shut their eyes. They opened them again, a tear falling. “You were distracted with shagging him?” Their voice raised another level. 

“Oh, Bee--”

“I smell it on you, Anthony!” They got up, pulling away from him. “You smell like you just went fifty rounds with him! Why? You left me worrying for 24 hours for some cock?! Is that what I am to you?!” 

Anthony stood up, eyes wide. “Bee, where is this coming from? You know I love you, you’re my best friend!”

Bee stomped their foot. “Shut the fuck up, Anthony! I want so much more than that!  _ I  _ want to be the one you stay with all night with and make love to all morning! It just isn’t fair!” They cried, falling to their knees. “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!” they repeated, sobbing. 

Anthony got down beside them, putting a hand on their back. “Oh my god… Uh, I’m sorry?”

Bee turned to him, rage firing up again. “You’re sorry?!” They stood up, stomping out of the room, leaving Anthony on the floor.    


* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel was laying in bed, arms wrapped around Michael. He pulled her to his chest, head resting on hers. He was rubbing the small of her back, listening to her drawn out breathing of sleep. Her long hair was splayed out all over the bed and his arms, but he didn’t mind. It was so soft and she smelled so nice. 

She was so still and the moonlight on her skin made her glow. She looked like a literal angel and Gabriel was in love. He could float on air with her. He knew he would love her forever.

She started stirring after an hour of him being awake. She looked up at him with her bleary, brown eyes. She gave him a tired smile, the smile of a ray of sunshine that lit up the entire room. Gabriel smiled back at her. 

“Good morning, my dear.”

She giggled softly. “Good morning, my love. You been awake long?”

Gabe shrugged. “Oh, maybe about an hour or so.”

Michael huffed, pushing her face into his chest. “You didn’t have to wait that long for me,” she groaned softly. 

He shook his head. “I like watching you sleep.”

She blushed. “Oh wow, hush.” She looked up at him. “I’m starving. Would you like to get some breakfast? We can have a little morning date.”

He kissed her head. “Sounds wonderful.” He sat up, starting to get dressed. “Is it okay if I wear what I had on last night? I don’t know if my roommate’s boyfriend has left yet.”

Michael giggled. “Of course you can. I’m not going to judge you, love.” She started rummaging through her closet. She changed into a nice blouse before turning to him. “Are you ready to go?” 

He grabbed her hand. “Let’s go, m’lady.”

Hand in hand, they walked down the few blocks to the local bakery. The late October air chilled on their skin, causing them to inch together. The sun shined from over the horizon, peeking from behind the thick gray clouds. They pecked lips before Gabe held the door for her.

She entered, dragging her boyfriend behind her. She recommended some foods to him before ordering her own. Gabe took her suggestions and paid for it all. They took a seat after being given their food. 

“The donuts are really good, babe,” Gabe said in between mouthfuls. “How’d you find this place?” 

Michael shook her head. “I didn’t find it. Uriella did. Her dad is from around here so she knows all the ins and outs. Probably why she came to uni here.” 

Gabe nodded. “My dad went here. He’s considered a really good businessman in America. I didn’t know how I’d like it here, but I’m glad I came because I met you.” He smiled playfully.

She blushed. “Oh, hush. You know my story. I just needed to get away from London.”

He nodded, finishing his donut. “Understandable. I’ve been. Loud and foul smelling. I’m glad you had the sense to get out.” He sat for a moment, in silence. 

They both sat for a moment in silence, Gabe letting Michael finish her breakfast before he spoke up again. “You know, Michael…”

She looked up at him questioningly.

“If we were to get married,” he continued. “Would you like to stay here in England or go to America with me?”

Her face solemn-ed into an expression that Gabriel couldn’t decipher. “Oh, Gabriel…” She shifted in her chair, pointing her eyes down.

Gabe shook his head, holding up his hand. “You really don’t need to say anything. I was just thinking. I love you, Michael, but I just… Don’t know if I can live here.” 

She nodded. “I know. I’ve never been to America, though… I don’t know what it’s like.” She shrugged her shoulders shyly. 

Gabe nodded. “I understand, babe. I can take you during the summer. I can take you to Virginia. Right where I’m from.” 

Michael nodded, leaning forward and kissing him. “I love you,” she mumbled after she pulled away.

Gabe chuckled. “I love you, too.”

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony was sat on his knees, heart racing a thousand times its normal speed.  _ Did… Did Bee just say they wanted to sleep with me? _ He shook his head and got up, flinging the door of their bedroom to see Bee crying on the couch. He walked over, weighing each step by the gram. 

“Bee?” his voice was just above a raspy whisper. “Bee, it’s okay.”

They looked at him, eyes red. “Of course it’s not okay!” They stood up, making Anthony stumble backwards. “No one fucking loves me!” 

Anthony felt a pang of sorrow shoot through him. He scoffed. “Don’t say that, Bee! You know damn well I love you.”

“Not as much as you love Azzy’s prick!” Their voice was rough with stress. 

He felt himself heat up. “Bee, I’m sorry I don’t love you the same way. I really am. You mean so much to me, though.” He walked forward, arms extended. “I wish I could make you happy and I’m sorry I can’t,” his voice cracked. “I hate seeing you upset. I can’t stand it. But you know I can’t force myself to love you in that way. I’m so sorry.” Tears started pricking in his eyes, but he wiped them away. 

Bee stood there, tears falling down their face before falling into Anthony’s arms. They held him close, squeezing him as hard as possible for their tiny body. He didn’t mind, though. He always liked how rough their hugs were. 

“I don’t need your crummy ‘I’m sorry’s,” Bee mumbled against his chest, sniffling. 

“I know,” he sighed. “I know.” He kissed their head, rubbing their back. “You’re my best friend, don’t forget that. You’re my number one, and just because I get another number one, doesn’t mean that you can’t share the place with him. I don’t know where’d I be without either of you.”

Bee nodded, sighing. “Anthony?”

He looked down at them as best he could. “Yes?”

“Tell me you love me again.” Their voice was muffled by his chest.

He held back a chuckle. “I love you, Bee.” 

They pulled away, wiping their red face with their sleeve. “I love you, too, you ginger prick.”

Anthony chuckled. “Let’s go to breakfast. No Azzy, no school, no sadness. Just you and me, eating breakfast.”

Bee nodded, grabbing his hand, looking up at him. “Sounds good. I know just the place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates. My homework has been laid on thick more so than usual. But don't worry, I'm still hella motivated. It isn't really like me to abandon a project, so don't worry. <3 Give me your feedback and thoughtsss! I don't have betas so you guys are kind of my audience to tell me what's good and what's not. Remember to leave kudos or a bookmark... Thank you so much, y'all!
> 
> Also can you tell I'm Welsh lol? 
> 
> Translations:  
> Peth creulon ydi cariad -- Love is a cruel thing  
> Un arall aeth a hi -- And another stole her away  
> Bore da, cariad -- Good morning, love  
> O, fy nghariad -- Oh, my sweetheart  
> Wyt ti'n ei hoffi -- Do you like it?
> 
> Cariad :: Gwyneth Glyn


	8. Adra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is very much like you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Does unman yn debyg i Adra',  
> medda' nhw wrtha fi.  
> Does unman yn debyg i Adra, na.  
> Ond mae Adra'n debyg iawn i chdi.

**Azzy**

The country had cooled off in the past few months and it was now December. No snow has fallen, but Azzy isn’t anything if he isn't hopeful. He’s thought throughout the month about what to get his dearest Anthony, but he can’t think of what much to do. Though, he does know Anthony and will come up with something soon. 

Azzy had gotten himself a job as an editor and beta reader for a student who wanted to be an author. Anathema Device was her name and she was writing a book about an angel and demon falling in love. Azzy quite liked it so far and felt excitement shoot through him whenever he got an email from here. Not just was he getting paid, he was reading a sweet love story.

Anathema was a sweet girl who was just a year above him, grade-wise. They had found each other in the library when Azzy sat next to her, trying to study for an exam. She was writing and Azzy had gotten intertwined with the story from over her shoulder. She noticed and explained she was looking for a beta reader for five pounds a week if he was interested. Of course, he absolutely was. Over a month, their relationship grew from professional to platonic. She even joined him on a night with Anthony and Bee. 

Oh, and Bee hadn’t said much to him since the fight in the hallway. There wasn’t even an apology uttered. Azzy had assumed that Bee still didn’t like him, but they didn’t seem to avoid him. They acted as if everything was normal. They had acted that way for weeks. Azzy eventually decided to ask Anthony about it.

“Does Bee like me?” 

Anthony’s head shot up, looking at Azzy weirdly. They were at dinner, in a nice little restaurant that was Anthony’s idea since he just got paid. “My dear angel, what are you talking about?”

Azzy scoffed. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. They don’t talk to me much.”

Anthony shrugged. “That doesn’t mean they don’t like you. They’re not very friendly. You know this.”

Azzy sighed this time. “Yes, but…” his voice lowered, “they told me that they like you, Anthony. That they’re jealous of us. I feel like they don’t like me because I’m with you.”

His boyfriend closed his eyes, inhaling. “Alright, yes. I spoke with them… They do seem to be… Highly in love with me?” He stopped with Azzy guffawed. “But we talked. They’re still, uh, understandably upset about the whole situation, but they decided they will… be civil about anything concerning this, I suppose. I’m sorry that you get the vibe they don’t like you, angel… And sadly they may not, but I don’t know. I can speak to them if you’d like.” 

Azzy shook his head. “I don’t want to start anything. I respect Bee. I just feel like they’re uncomfortable around me.”

Anthony rested his chin on his palm. “I thought they were with someone. I guess it’s just a rebound.”

Azzy cocked his head, eyebrows threading together. “Who?”

Anthony shrugged. “Some bird named Dai. Dai Gan, I think. I dunno, I never see her around. She might be some booty call.”

Azzy frowned. “That’s not very healthy…” Despite Bee not being friendly to him, he worried for them. He knew a broken heart could damage someone severely.

Anthony sighed, running a hand through his flames. “I don’t know. I mean, they tend to do that. Just bottle it all up, you know? I do worry about them. I’ve told them to go to therapy, but they don’t really act like they want to.”

The blond lowered his head, grabbing his hand across the table. “I’m sorry, dear. I understand.” He leaned forward and kissed him, feeling Anthony kiss back. He pulled away. “I do love you. You’re so sweet.”

Anthony blushed. “Oh, hush. Stop flattering me.” He looked down at their plates. “Do you want any dessert from here before I ask for the bill, angel?”

Azzy’s face lit up, a smile reaching up to the edge of his face. “Oh please? I will share with you, my sweetheart.” He loved how Anthony would spoil him with food and love. He never ever felt like he wasn’t loved with his boyfriend around. He knew he wanted to marry him. 

Anthony easily nodded, asking the waitress for the dessert menu, letting Aziraphale choose exactly what he wanted. Azzy felt a bit guilty about it, knowing Anthony was being paid just above minimum wage, but he didn’t argue about it. He seemed to love to buy him food and wine and anything else he could ever want. 

The dessert soon came back, looking so beautiful. The chocolate cake, drizzled in more chocolate and raspberry sauce. Fresh fruit covered and crested the decadent slice. His mouth watered. He looked up at the engrossing yellow eyes of the love of his life. 

“Thank you, my love.”

“Say it in Welsh, angel.” Anthony smirked at him. 

Azzy swallowed, blushing. “Oh, good lord. Diolch, fy cariad.”

“ _ Completely  _ in Welsh,” his voice became deep with amorousness. 

“O, Duw dda! Diolch, fy cariad.” He cut a bit with his fork, eating some slowly. The sweetness hit his tongue, making him moan in delight. He took another bite, eyes fluttering shut. He took more and more bites, until the cake was almost gone. 

“Angel,” Anthony started, making Azzy open his eyes. He leaned forward on his elbow. “Are you trying to get me wet?” 

Azzy’s eyes widened. His face turned red. “Oh, god! Don’t be so vulgar! Oh, dear, especially in public. Stop…”

Anthony scoffed. “Me? My dear, you sound like you are making love to the food.”

Azzy mumbled something under his breath, continuing to eat the food with self-conscience movements. He ate until he was done and Anthony paid the bill. Then they left the restaurant with fingers intertwined. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee laid next to Dai, watching her steady breathing. It was about midnight, but Bee couldn’t sleep. They were contemplating just getting up and leaving without notice. It’s not the first time they’ve done it to her. Out of two weeks of sleeping with Dai, Bee has probably done it over five times. 

They had met Dai in their maths. She was an animal science major and she loved fish. Bee had found it a bit attractive and they decided to hang out with her. After the first night, they had already shagged. Dai was a good shag, but it was nothing Bee couldn’t live without. Still, they kept it going. Maybe it was something they were having while just waiting to move on. Besides, she didn’t point out the tattoo under Bee’s breast. 

Bee got up, grabbing their jacket and pulling it on. They felt a bit guilty about leaving Dai like this, but they assumed she had gotten the message: you are nothing but a regular shag. They grabbed their bag, slipping on their shoes. They grabbed a few of her cigarettes, lighting one up before leaving her dorm. 

Bee strolled down the empty hallway, the lights buzzing and flickering. They opened the stairwell, grunting as they pushed aside the heavy door. The echo of their heavy boots in the bleak room bounced all around them. The room filled with smoke and it came close to burning their eyes until they finally left the room and walked down the hallways to their dorm. 

Bee unlocked their door, taking a puff of their cigarette. They slammed and locked it behind themselves. They sat on the couch, turning on the tele. They’d have assumed Anthony was asleep by now. They kicked their shoes off, sprawling out on the couch and finishing up the cigarette and laying the butt down on the coffee table. Bee sighed, closing their eyes. They relaxed, feeling their body about to float into sleep.

“Bee?” A light flicked on. 

Bee opened their eyes and looked behind them. It was Azzy. They sat up, turning around to face him. “What?”

He looked almost guilty. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I just heard someone come in.” He was wrapped in a robe, holding it closed with his hands and fiddling with it.

They shook their head. “I wasn’t sleeping.” They got up, stretching.

Azzy wrinkled his nose, pressing his lips together. “Were you smoking?”

Bee nodded. “Yeah. You want one? I have more.” They ran their hand into their pocket, pulling out a cigarette. They pushed it to him. 

He shook his head. “Oh, god, no. I can’t stand nicotine. I made Anthony stop smoking them at night. I hate the smell.”

Bee shrugged. “I got them from Dai. She smokes all the time. She’s addicted, but I guess I’m lucky.”

Azzy sighed. “I guess you are. Anthony is a bit lucky, too, I suppose. He only did it because his mother did. She was addicted.”

Bee just shrugged, laying back down on the couch. 

“How’s it going with Dai? I heard she’s your girlfriend.” 

Bee almost laughed. “She’s not my girlfriend. We just shag for the hell of it, I guess. We only hang out to do that, you know? We aren’t even really friends.” They laughed. “Just shagging partners.”

Azzy frowned, moving over to sit down next to Bee. “That’s… sad. I couldn’t do that.”

Bee moved their feet, looking down their body to him. “How is it sad? We’re both pretty happy with the arrangement.”

Azzy shook his head. “I just couldn’t do it. I have to love someone to actually… make love.”

Bee shook their head. “We’re not making love. Just shagging.”

“Well, at least you’re over Anthony, I suppose.”

Bee cackled this time. “Are you serious?! You really think that? Oh, god, I need a drink for that and another cigarette.” They pulled out another one. “You got a lighter?”

Azzy shook his head, face painted with guilt. “Oh, dear. I’m sorry. Also, no I haven’t.” He looked down at his hands folded in his lap. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” They scoffed, picking up their old cigarette butt to see if it was still partially lit. They blew on it lightly, seeing it rear up. They tapped the burning embers into the new one, letting it catch. 

Azzy watched them as they did this. “Well, I… I just assumed how you felt… I know having a broken heart is really, uh, upsetting.” 

The cigarette was finally billowing smoke. Bee took a drag. “Calling me broken hearted is a bit too humanizing for my tastes.” They blew the smoke out from their nose. 

“Oh god, please,” he fussed. “Drop the act, Bee, please. You care so much and I can tell you’re really hurt. It hurts me to watch because you’re a good person and I just don’t think you know that you can be.”

Bee just looked at him for a second. “You don’t know me.” 

“Bee, we’ve known each other for long enough and I’ve known Anthony for long enough to know that he doesn’t just befriend people without any substance.”

They rolled their eyes. “I came here so my shag buddy wouldn’t know I’m stealing her faggies. I don’t want a whole bloody lecture. I don’t want a bloody therapist.”

Azzy sighed. “Bee--”

“And don’t say I need one. I’ve heard that shit from Anthony many times over. I don’t need to talk about my feelings. I’m just fine having sex about my feelings.” They punctuated their sentence with another drag from their cigarette.

“Oh, goodness. If you insist on hiding how you feel, then I can’t do anything.” He got up. “I’m going back to bed. Goodnight, Bee.” He then left Bee sitting in dark silence. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

Living through the winter months with Michael was some of the best things to ever happen to Gabriel. Their cuddles would go all day and she would come over to his dorm every night to lay with him. Gabe hadn’t been alone in a week and he was happy for that. 

Their relationship hasn't been the same. It had gotten more intimate. They still hadn’t given themselves to each other yet, though. Gabriel had promised the lord his celibacy until he got married. Still, he had watched her getting dressed before. Her body was smooth and curvy and it made Gabriel feel hot in his shirt. 

He felt bad, having sinful thoughts about Michael like that. Her lacy bra hugging her breasts stuck in his mind. It weighed down on him, guilt encompassing him. He wanted to touch her hips and kiss her neck. He knew Michael was ready for having sexual relationships with him, but he couldn’t. He swore to the lord. 

Still, Gabriel felt like they were inching closer and closer. 

He laid in bed with her, arms embracing her waist. He played with her hair, letting the image play throughout his mind. Over and over, he saw her beautiful shape. He knew he could never. So he kept quiet about it. 

Even when he was sitting with her in a fancy restaurant, he had kept quiet about it. They had just finished their food and they were skimming over the dessert menu. Michael looked up when Gabriel said something. 

“You know, Michael…” he began. “I love you. A lot, you know.”

Her eyebrows threaded together. “Is there a ‘but’ to this?”

Gabe shook his head. “No! Oh, no no.” He stood up, helping her up with him. He was trembling. She cocked her head. “I love you, Michael. It’s like I’ve known you for years.” 

His heart was beating out of his chest as he got down on his one knee. He pulled out a small velvet box. He popped it open to reveal a pure diamond ring. Michael let out a loud gasp, covering her face. 

Gabe inhaled and exhaled, tears pricking his eyes. “Michael, will you marry me?”

People at the tables around them fell silent as they waited for her response. There was a deafening moment of silence. Gabriel felt his skin crawl. 

“Of course I will,” Michael choked out through soft tears. “Of course I will.” 

Gabriel stood up on shaky legs, listening to everyone clap. He slipped the ring onto her finger, kissing her on the lips as light as a feather. She kissed him back, pulling him closer.

“I love you,” Michael whispered to him.

“I love you, too,” Gabriel mumbled.

Then they spent the rest of their night in ecstasy. 

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony hated the cold. He hated the wind and the frigid air on his skin. However, winter with Aziraphale was the best thing ever. Azzy would wrap his coat and his arms around him whenever they were outside. He would always carry Azzy’s scent on his skin. He wouldn’t be caught dead sleeping alone anymore. Azzy could cuddle him just right and make him warm in the night.

He loved Azzy so much. He loved spoiling him and buying him more than he needed or even wanted. Recently, he was constantly thinking about what to do for him for Christmas. A few old books? Some expensive lingerie? Maybe both? He did love to spoil him and took every opportunity to do so. 

They laid in bed closely, feeling Aziraphale get up beside him. He was awake but he didn’t open his eyes at all. He heard his angel’s voice carrying into his room. Then there was Bee’s voice.  _ Oh god. _ He listened, tensing up. He relaxed after a bit without any fighting. 

Anthony heard voices raise, getting ready to break it up. Soon, however, it stopped. He relaxed once more, hearing Azzy come in and lay back beside him. He tried not to smile as Azzy kissed his temple and whispered to him, “Nos da, cariad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for reading this far!! If you enjoyed it leave kudos, a comment, and make a little book mark! It's something little but it honestly makes my day. Have a good day, y'all. <3
> 
> Adra :: Gwyneth Glyn


	9. Errors and Euphoria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is the greatest time of year. 
> 
> (There is a skippable smut scene in Anthony's section. It's more detailed than the last, so if you don't like it, you can not read it. xox)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hug me 'til you drug me, honey, hug me  
> Drug me 'til you love me, honey, love me anyway

**Azzy**

It was December 25, and Azzy was sitting in Anthony’s flat, drinking the night away. He was sitting with his lover and Anathema. He had brought a bottle of deep red wine, as Anathema brought some sparkling champagne, and Anthony brought some strong vodka imported from Russia. 

They all were almost beyond drunk, having three different types of alcohol in their systems. If Azzy had been at all sober, he would have been worrying all night about the hangover he would have, or even getting alcohol poisoning. However, it was a better Christmas than the party next door. 

Across the hall, a party was brewing. The music was coursing through the halls and made nearby rooms pulse with the fast pace. The music was disgusting and Azzy couldn’t understand why anyone could enjoy it. However, Bee decided to go. 

He was thankful for Anthony’s Christmas gift of expensive vodka and old books. He had given him the anthologies of Edgar Allan Poe, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and Emily Dickinson. This simple Christmas made him happier than anything else at all. 

Azzy tried to get up, his glass of champagne spilling on the rug. “Oh-” his eyes blinked. “Shiiiiit,” he slurred. “I’m sorry dear. Oh my, oh my, oh my--”

Anthony kissed his ear soppily as a sign of forgiveness. The blond’s head fell back, letting his boyfriend kiss him salaciously. Anathema watched them for a moment before picking up the phone and drunkenly calling her boyfriend, Newt, to come get her. Azzy knew this could go too far and them being drunk, they didn’t care whether someone was around or not, so he didn’t blame her. 

Once Newt came to get her, Anthony straddled his lap. Azzy held him and let him grind and kiss. They both made the most obscene drunken noises of sex and coition. The party didn’t bother them as Anthony got up and stumbled to his room. 

Azzy whined, bucking his hips. “Anthony?” he slurred, trying to find his boyfriend. 

He heard some fumbling in the other room. Then what he saw when Anthony walked in took his breath away. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee had heard about the party from the boys across the hall. Hastur was Bee’s pot man and he had invited them over. They were standing in front of a mirror, getting ready. They applied the heaviest makeup they could, even adding purple colored eye-contacts. They put up their hair in two buns, brushing their bangs in order. 

They left the bathroom when they were done, smiling at Anthony in the living area. They twirled. “How do I look?”

Anthony arched a carmine eyebrow. “Where are your clothes?”

Azzy leaned over Anthony to get a proper gander of them. He frowned at their skin showing. They were only wearing a bra with an open jacket over it. Their only pants were fishnets with a miniskirt. 

Bee rolled their eyes. “Please, I look good. I want some hot stranger to want to bang me. Would it work?”

Anthony guffawed. “Someone would, I bet. Especially with all the drugs.”

Bee scoffed. “Oh, screw you. See you tomorrow.” They then promptly left. 

They walked across the hall, opening the unlocked door. They looked around, everyone already drinking or dancing. They made their way over to Hastur, who was rolling up a few blunts. 

“Hey, Hastur, my man.” He turned around. They continued, leaning on the counter, “Light me one up, babe.” 

Hastur laughed. He blew smoke in their face. “Take a hit of mine,” he handed one to them, letting them inhale some. “I got some high-quality shit so you don’t need a whole joint to get high.” 

Bee let out a small laugh. “Thanks. You got any edibles tonight?” They looked around the dorm at the people filing in. “Also, do you think anyone here would want to hook up with me?”

“You’re a horny bastard. I wouldn’t mind shagging you.” He smirked at them. “I mean, if you wouldn’t mind taking this--”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bee groaned. “I wouldn’t shag you if you were the last person on earth. Go fuck yourself.”

There was a beat. “Yes, there will be edibles.” 

Bee pushed away from the counter and walked around the kitchen island. They grabbed a cup and poured a beer. They left the room, scanning the area for the third time. They crossed the living area to Ligur, Hastur’s roommate. He was sitting by the speaker, skipping and choosing which song to play. 

“Ligur, what is this shit? Can you play something… Good?”

“You look like a slut and all you listen to is shitty indie music,” Ligur hissed, eyes narrowing at them. “No one cares as long as they can dance to it, anyways.” 

Bee rolled their eyes, wandering around. As hours passed, they put down five beers and took three hits from the joints people passed around. They even swallowed some random pills and snorted something that was trying to be coke but most likely was just flour or powdered sugar. 

Everything was spinning and they wanted all they wanted was to shag someone right now. Bee splayed themselves out on the couch over a stranger’s lap. They looked up at him, eyes meeting. Something clicked in their mind; maybe he wasn’t such a stranger after all.

They sat up, staring at him. “You’re that dickhead wanker I slapped!” 

He scoffed. “You’re that psycho bitch who lives with Anthony!” His voice was slurring and unclear. 

Bee grabbed his shoulders, eyebrows shooting up. “You’re jacked as hell.” They laughed loudly. “You workout? That’s hot as fuck.” They now knew exactly who they wanted to shag.

* * *

**Gabriel**

For Christmas, Gabriel took Michael to the fanciest (or as she said “poshest”) restaurant in this small town. He set her loose and let her order whatever she wanted: first, second, and third course. She was the love of his life, his fiancé, this was the least he could do for her for the holiday. 

Michael ordered a cheese board for the appetizer. Gabriel admired her expensive tastes. She had gotten engaged to the right man for that. She ordered more expensive foods and he almost loved her even more for that. 

They shared dinner over wine of Michael’s choosing. She chose their deepest red and she sipped at it decently. She didn’t down it like some alcoholic.

After Gabriel paid, they left the place arm and arm, Michael taking them back to her dorm. She met Uriella there and they both got dressed in identical golden dresses as Gabriel took a seat on the girls’ couch. 

“Gabe, love,” Michael said, making him look up. “Uriella and I are going to a party in room 111. Wanna come?”

He got up, giving her a smile. “Sure.” He gave her a chaste kiss. “You look so gorgeous.”

“Blech!” Uriella spoke up, already by the door. “Are you two coming or what?”

Michael giggled and dragged Gabriel out and down the hall. They entered the room full of pulsing music and boozed up people drinking obscenely. The air smelled thickly of weed and he swore to god he saw people snorting cocaine. Surely not? Still, he felt entirely uncomfortable. 

As soon as they got there, Michael and Uriella went straight for the bar. They got some girly cocktails and as soon as they left, Gabriel went over there. He liked to say that he didn’t drink anything but wine, but tonight was different. After three glasses of wine, he was more tipsy than he would like to admit. Though, being out of his element of comfort, he felt as if he should get drunk and just forget about everything happening around him. 

“What do you want?” a man with a raspy voice asked him from behind the counter. 

Gabriel shrugged. “Don’t usually drink. What’s the strongest stuff here?”

The man let out a creepy chuckle, turning around and cracking something open and pouring it into a cup. “Here ya go, yankee.”

Gabriel made a face at the nickname and turned away. He looked around for Michael, but after a while, he decided to leave it. He milled around the party until his drink was almost all gone. He went back to get more. He tapped the table. “Bartend?”

The creepy ass man showed up again. “Same thing?” 

Gabe nodded. 

He turned around and cracked open the same can, pouring it into Gabe’s cup. Gabriel left, trying to go back and find Michael again. For the second time of not being able to find her, he sat down on an empty space on the couch in the middle of the room. He guzzled down every drop of his drink and he was about to get up for more when some chick splayed out across his lap. 

They met eyes for a moment, the purple color slapping Gabriel in the face. He squinted at them. He knew them somewhere.  _ Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere.  _ If he could just think straight. Everything was foggy up there. 

“You’re that dickhead wanker I slapped!” they laughed, pointing boorishly at him.

Gabriel’s mind clicked. That nutjob. He scoffed at them in return. “You’re that psycho bitch who lives with Anthony!” His voice came out with less clarity than he had wanted. 

They grabbed his shoulders, making Gabriel shift. Their face lit up. “You’re jacked as hell.” They laughed loudly. Their voice was grating and loud. “You workout? That’s hot as fuck.” 

Gabe felt himself heat up, rubbing his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but before any sound could come out, the psycho kissed him. They kissed him animalistically, straddling his lap and grinding on him. Gabriel would’ve stopped them, but he didn’t want them to stop. He kissed back, gripping their slim hips as tight as he could. 

Before he knew it, the bitch hopped up and pulled him from the party. Everything was happening so fast, faster than Gabe’s head could keep up. 

“Your room,” they mumbled something. “Let’s go to your room.” They kept kissing him after, taking him a while to get his head straight enough to take them there. He dug around in his pocket, getting keys and pushing the door open.

They pushed him inside, mumbling something along the lines of ‘what’s your name?’ He stopped for a moment, as if he had to think. “Gabriel,” he finally said. 

They slammed the door, pushing him into the bedroom, undressing him as fast as they could. “Bee,” they finally said when they got him pinned to the bed. 

Gabe took it upon himself to take his own clothes off while Bee took off what little they had on. He grabbed at their hips and ass, then drifted his hands up to their now exposed breasts. The room was dark and Gabe’s vision was blurry, but he swore that Bee was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. They were so small and easy to push around in his hands. 

There was some dark writing under one of their bosoms, but Gabe couldn’t quite make out what it said. He stayed quiet for the rest of the night, though, and didn't ask the whole time they had sex. 

* * *

**Anthony**

Making love to Azzy was something Anthony would say is the top thing that made him happy. Feeling Azzy’s plush body against his own and feeling the movement inside him made him want to do it forever. And he could tell Azzy loved it just as much. His lover’s face read of excitement and elation every time he sat on his beautiful pink cock. 

They, also, didn’t do it as much as other couples probably would. It was just about once a week, but they were both perfectly content with the arrangement. It made their sexy time more special to them. Which is why Anthony chose the perfect lingerie for a Christmas gift. 

Shopping for the lingerie was a bit difficult. The store employees thought it was a gift for Anthony’s significant other to wear (which they also thought was a woman). Still, he tried his damndest to get something that looked good on him. He finally decided on a red and black lace bustier and stockings. It framed his slim hips perfectly and clung to his thin thighs. It didn’t leave much up to the imagination, but he liked it like that. 

After they started drunkenly snogging and Anathema left in an embarrassed hurry, Anthony tried to get the message to Azzy clear: they were shagging right then and there. When he got up and left the room, he heard his boyfriend calling for him. Perfect. Even in his drunken state of mind, he knew what he needed to do to turn his lover on. 

Anthony moved to his bedroom to unwrap the lingerie and pull it on. The room was grey to his eyes, the only light was moonlight filtering in from the closed blinds. This combined with how fucking drunk he was, it took longer than it should have. He fumbled around for a few minutes, swearing he heard something rip, before he was ready. 

He felt his heart beat fast, making him tremble. He loved Azzy and Azzy loved him, but would he appreciate the display? He moved into the living room, seeing his lover watching for when he would come back in. Once he did, Anthony could hear him suck in a breath. 

“Do you like it?” Anthony spoke more quaintly than he meant to. He stood in front of Azzy, trying to let him see everything. 

“My dear!” Azzy sounded almost offended at the question. “You look so wonderful…” He leaned forward, reaching out a hand. He looked up at Anthony, asking  _ can I? _

The ginger smirked, moving forward and sitting on his lap. He straddled his legs, grinding down on him. He grabbed a fistful of Azzy’s hair, using more leverage to push himself down. His head fell forward, friction from Aziraphale’s trousers rubbing on the hood of his clit. 

Anthony kissed his neck, moaning just slightly into his ear. “Do you want my cunny?” he mumbled obscenely. “You want me to sit on your cock?”

He felt himself getting wetter by the moment, feeling Azzy grab and grope him. His hands squeezing his hips, thighs, and bum (and once even a cheeky squeeze to the cunt), made him hot. His pussy was pulsing and his clit was protruding from its hood. He needed his angel right now. 

“Fuck me, Azzy,” he growled. “Fuck me against this couch in this lingerie like a slut,” his voice was edging on desperate. “Please.”

Azzy’s hands became frantic as he began to undress himself. He gave up halfway through on his shirt so he got off his trousers and pants, letting his cock push against the thin layer of lace under Anthony’s wet twat. His fingers swiftly pulled aside the panties and he pushed in slowly. 

Anthony threw his head back, gripping his shoulders. His cock was so thick and it pushed him wide open every time. Even just halfway inside him, Anthony felt full. 

The blond pushed deeper, making Anthony push out obscene moans. He had always been a vocal lover, but with how fat his partner’s cock was, who could blame him? There was more movement beginning, thrusts getting deeper every time they pushed back in. Aziraphale kept slowly building until he was balls deep. 

Anthony felt the lips of his cunt push against his angel’s bollocks. His long cock went so deep, he swore to god he felt it brush against his cervix. He stayed there for a moment, still with a cock buried deep in him and his wet dripping onto testes. Finally after a while, Anthony started moving on his own accord, not able to stand the stillness anymore. 

He bounced up and down, feeling his bum slap against Azzy’s full thighs. His moans crescendoed as the pleasure built. He ground down on his cock in between bouncing, making himself as wet as he possibly could. 

“Angel,” he let out breathlessly. “Play with my clit.” 

Anthony’s wish was Aziraphale’s command. He reached down, circling the swollen nub as best he could when he bounced. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, but he knew who would cum first. Azzy’s hands became lazy and less focused. They completely stopped when he finally came and released inside of his boyfriend. 

Anthony felt it fill him up. He felt it drip down his legs when he pulled off. He pulled away and sprawled himself all on the couch, legs open wide. After Azzy climbed down from his peak, he instantly got the message:  _ you need to make me cum. _

Azzy sat up, getting himself in order. He pulled his shirt off finally. He pressed his face against Anthony’s twat. It was so wet and used, but it hadn’t cum. Azzy licked a long stripe from the base to the top, making Anthony tense up. 

The ginger slapped his head. “Stop playing with my cunny,” he growled desperately. “Just make me cum.”

Azzy obeyed immediately, tongue circling his swollen clit. He took it in between his lips and sucked on it. At this point in Anthony’s transition and with the hormones he was taking, his clit had grown to a good inch long. This made it infinitely easier to suck. His fingers rubbed the hood, needing something to do. 

Anthony’s thighs were shaking against Azzy’s face as his orgasm built. It was just a few minutes until he came against his face. His moans loudened to the point where the neighbors could probably hear him and make out his incoherent babbling. 

Azzy sat up, face shimmering with cum. He had a proud look on it, knowing he had pleasured his boyfriend just right. Anthony smiled at him, sitting up some. The soreness was already setting in on his legs. It felt so good. 

“Did you enjoy that, dear?” Azzy asked him, wiping off his face and cock with a discarded paper towel from their food. 

Anthony laughed breathlessly. “Angel, I’m supposed to be asking  _ you _ that.”

Azzy blushed, remembering the lacy lingerie he was dressed in. “Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes. I’m sorry. Yes, I did. I loved it very much, very good.”

Anthony laughed. The sex sobered him up a bit, but he supposed his angel was still very drunk. He pecked Azzy’s lips and went to go get a towel. He came back and wiped them off well enough for him to throw it down. 

Antony pulled off his lingerie, which now had cum all on it. He sighed, deciding to worry about it later. He walked into his room, putting on some clean underwear. When he walked back into the living room, he saw Azzy had put his pants on, too. 

“Angel,” Anthony whined. “Come cuddle with me.”

Azzy looked over, nodding. He got up, following Anthony into the bedroom, shutting the door tight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some kudos, a comment, or make a little bookmark if you like it! I love feedback and it makes my whole day, even if it's criticism. I work hard on this and I am very passionate about it, so even just a little "I like this" makes me very happy. Have a good day y'all! x
> 
> PS. all the non-descriptive sex scenes made feel bad for teasing y'all, lol. So here's a very gross one lmao
> 
> Hug Me :: Meg and Dia


	10. Greatest Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes effects are bigger than the causes.
> 
> PS. in Anthony's chapter, Bee says the r-word (r++e), so please be careful. It is also briefly mentioned. I trust y'all to know what's good for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to kiss you goodnight  
> No longer can pretend it won't cave in and we'll be alright

**Azzy**

When Azzy opened his eyes, the light blinded him and nausea overtook him. He sat up, grabbing the bin beside the desk near Anthony’s bed. He threw up, retching and body contorting. His gags were loud enough to wake up his lover next to him. 

“Azzy, dear?” Anthony’s voice was raspy from behind him. “Are you alright?”

Azzy turned around. “Oh,” his voice shook. “Sorry, did I wake you?” 

Anthony sat up, getting up shakily. “Are you sick? I can get some Tylenol.” 

“No,” he tried to say, but his lover was already gone. He sighed, sicking up again. He looked up at Anthony with weak eyes when he came back in. He handed Azzy some pills and a glass of water. 

“Take it, angel,” he said, standing over him. 

Aziraphale downed the water and pills, whining. He rubbed his temples. “Why didn’t you stop me?”

Anthony sat down, laughing softly. “I didn’t stop myself, love. I was drunk as all get out.”

Azzy’s eyelids drooped. “Why aren’t you throwing up?” 

Anthony’s head rested on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck. “I threw up in the middle of the night and got some water. You whisked my eggs last night and I barfed my guts up.” 

The blond frowned. “I’m sorry. If I had known how drunk we were, I’d--”

“Oh, hush, angel! I enjoyed it very much. That was the greatest Christmas present I’ve ever gotten.” He crossed his legs, leaning on his boyfriend. 

“Oh! Your gift is coming in the mail. I promise, my dear.” Azzy kissed his head, putting an arm around him. They stayed like that for a moment before Anthony stood. He fell back on his bed. 

“Let’s sleep this off.” He reached out his arms. 

Azzy smiled, slotting himself in his arms. He nuzzled up to him, closing his eyes. 

Anthony kissed his temple. “Thank you,” he mumbled. “I love you.”

“Of course,” Azzy mumbled back. “And I love you, too.” 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee didn’t regret much. Spiking their cousin’s coffee with vodka, that was pretty funny. When they jumped from the roof with an umbrella with the thought they could float, it was a good experience. When they got Anthony’s name irreversibly imprinted into their skin, they don’t try to hide it. However, shagging Gabriel was one of their biggest regrets.

At the time, it seemed like a good idea, but also at the time, they were high and drunk. They were also dressed like  _ that _ and were vying for attention from anyone who would give them the time of day. 

They were also severely depressed. Ever since the event with Anthony, they had been trying to find something to stifle their feelings. Even cigarettes, which, they honestly didn’t really enjoy. They were a mess of a person and if it weren’t for their makeup making them look alive, everyone could’ve told. 

Now, though, they sit in this bathroom, barfing their guts up. They remembered last night with great remorse and they wish that they were blackout drunk as to forget everything. They didn’t want to see Gabriel’s face ever again. They didn’t want to see his naked body or hear his grating voice. This was a very bad decision. An irreversible, life changing mistake.

Gabriel opened the door as they puked. He stood there for a second. “I have medicine,” he finally mumbled. 

Bee’s head snapped up to look at him. “Who said I need that?” They scowled, eyes narrowing.

“Seriously? You’re still a bitch even when I’m trying to help you?” He crouched beside them, pushing some orange pills towards them. 

They grabbed the medicine with a huff, just swallowing them dry. They saw him cringe but they didn’t make a comment. They stood up, looking down at him. Bee could easily see his exposed muscles on his back and chest even in the dark bathroom. He was quite in shape. They spat, partially to themselves. “Get your shirt on.”

They left the threshold of the bathroom, hearing Gabriel get up.

“Bee, right?” 

They stopped in their tracks, turning around. They sneered at him. “You can go ahead and forget it,” they started. “Honestly, if you tell anyone about this, I’ll slice your ballsack open.” 

Gabriel winced. “I promise I won’t tell anyone. I don’t exactly want people to know about this..” He grabbed his shirt that was thrown on the couch and pulled it on. “I guess it’s mutual.” He let out noise that was probably supposed to be a laugh, but came off as more pathetic. 

Bee pulled their clothes on, mumbling about how he didn’t need his pleasantries. Their heels clicked to the door. They partially turned to face him. “Well, see you never again, you knob.” They turned back again, about to take a step. 

“Wait-” He stopped them, making them turn around again. He disappeared to his room, coming out with a jacket. “Take this. With… How you’re dressed.” 

Bee scoffed, pulling it on. “Whatever.” They rolled their eyes and scowled, opening the door. They stopped in the doorway. “Just because you stuck your dick in me doesn’t mean we’re all friendly now.” 

Then with that, Bee walked down back to their dorm. They struggled their door open with shaky limbs, plopping down on the couch, letting out a small groan. Gabriel was nice to them. It made them feel weird. A bad weird. A weird that tingles throughout their entire body and makes them feel some sort of bittersweet melancholy in the back of their throat. The fact that he saw them as just a shag was a bit relieving, at the same time they couldn’t pin down the restlessness they felt with the thought. They rubbed their temples, sighing. They just needed some sleep. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel has never made a bad decision since a few years back. He was a good boy and never broke rules. He followed god’s word to a T and has never gotten trouble with the law. He did exactly what his parents expected of him and he was engaged to a nice Christian girl that he has never lied with and won’t until they’re married. However, opening his eyes after the night of the party made him feel the emotion most people have felt at least once in their lives:  _ oh fuck _ .

At first his vision was blurry and a headache split his cranium in half. The lights filtering in through the blinds made him squint. Then his eyes were drawn to the small, half naked body laying right beside him. The emotion hurtling through him was that to only be described as unbridled fear and anxiety. 

He shot up, ignoring his persistent nausea. He threw on his pants, scrambling to hand the now up and confused figure their clothes. 

“You should probably go,” he said quickly. 

Their eyes drooped, their hands rubbing their head. “Uh, where’s your bathroom?” 

Gabriel’s face pinched. “Across from this one.”

They got up, sprinting over and falling in front of the toilet. Gabriel heard loud retching and he frowned. He went to the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets until he found some tylenol. He stood in the doorway, face riddled with shame. “I have medicine.” 

They jumped, eyes meeting his. “Who said I need that?” 

“Seriously? You’re still a bitch even when I’m trying to help you?” He crouched beside them, pushing them into their hand. 

They took them with a huff, just swallowing them dry. Gabriel just cringed, watching them. They stood up, looking down at him. He looked back up at them, just to see them recoil. “Get your shirt on.”

Gabriel stood up, watching them head to the bedroom. 

“Bee, right?” he spoke up. 

They stopped, turning around. They sneered at him. “You can go ahead and forget it. Honestly, if you tell anyone about this, I’ll slice your ballsack open.” 

Gabriel winced, trying not to imagine the pain. “I promise I won’t tell anyone. I don’t exactly want people to know about this.” He tried not to seem desperate. He glanced at the couch, picking up his abandoned shirt and pulling it on. “I guess it’s mutual.” He let out an awkward laugh. 

Bee pulled the clothes that Gabriel had handed them on, mumbling something he couldn’t really make out. Their heels clicked as they made their way to the door. “Well, see you never again, you knob.” 

“Wait-” He reached his hand out, making them turn around. He rushed to his room, coming out with a jacket. “Take this. With… How you’re dressed,” he danced lightly around the sentence. 

Bee scoffed, pulling it on. “Whatever.” They rolled their eyes, tilting their head dismissively. They stopped in the doorway after a step. “Just because you stuck your dick in me doesn’t mean we’re all friendly now.” 

Gabe let out a sigh, seeing them leave down the hall. He shut the door, sitting on the couch. It hurt. He tried to be nice to them. After what he said to them in the hallway and just their night together, he felt ashamed. He felt the need to be nice to them, yet they didn’t return the same feeling. It stung him.

Good thing he had Michael, though. God forbid she ever finds out about this. He still loved her. He just made a drunken mistake. He was still loyal to her, forever and for always.

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony opened his eyes, shifting. He rubbed his face, looking down at his sleeping Aziraphale. He smiled, slowly wriggling away from him. He stepped quietly away from his sleeping body, checking out the window. It was dark outside. He let out a sigh to himself and pushed himself into the living room. He stopped when he saw Bee watching tele.

“Where have you been?” 

They looked up at him, a bit surprised. “Oh, at some himbo’s dorm.” 

Anthony’s interest piqued, his eyebrows shot up. He slid himself right beside them on the couch. “Oh yeah? Who?”

They shook their head. “He said he didn’t want anyone to know. He’s not my proudest shag, either.” 

Anthony’s interest was even more dragged into the mystery. Someone Bee was ashamed of sleeping with? This would be  _ very _ interesting. He tugged on their sleeve. “Come on! Please?” he whined.

They sighed. “Fine. Since I know you won’t tell anyone.” They glanced towards the bedroom door, lowering their voice. “Gabriel. Azzy’s roommate.”

Anthony’s mouth dropped open. He froze for a moment. “You have to be fucking kidding me!” 

Bee hushed him down immediately, pushing a hand over his mouth. “Shut up!” they whispered. “I didn’t want anyone to know,  _ especially _ Azzy.”

“He’s a complete and utter dickhead,” Anthony scoffed, still almost frozen. Fear rushed through him for a split second. “Are you sure this was consensual?”

Bee’s eyes widened. “What? Yes! He might be a wanker, but I don’t think he has it in him to  _ rape _ somebody.” 

He sighed, body loosening. “I’m sorry, but I was scared for a moment.” He took a pause. “I’m assuming you were high or drunk. He was as well, right?”

They rolled their eyes. “Anthony! Yes, we were both drunk as a cunt. I would tell you if he was sober.” 

He put his arm around them. “Good. Because I would’ve had to chop his dick off.” He smiled as he got a laugh from Bee. “What’s it like… Fucking him?” Anthony wriggled his eyebrows. “Is he good?”

Bee shrugged. “Don’t quite remember. I mean, him shirtless is a sight for sore eyes, I’ll tell you what.” 

Anthony gasped. “Really? Is he really muscled?”

They nodded. “Yeah. Definitely. I told him to put his shirt on… But he’s kind of really hot.” 

He started laughing. However, he stopped when a thought struck him. “Wait isn’t he engaged?”

Bee gave him a questioning stare. “...Oh, is he now?”

Anthony felt his stomach drop. “Bee, whatever you’re thinking… I did not like the tone of your voice. Please don’t try to tell everyone. Being a cock doesn’t warrant having a good relationship destroyed.”

Bee sighed and relaxed into the couch. “Oh, don’t worry. I won’t.”

Anthony sighed, still feeling a twinge of worry in his chest. He laid back, watching tele with them, ignoring the feeling. Still, he knew their voice when they had an idea. A bad idea at that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment (good or bad, just within reason lol), some kudos, and a bookmark! Make sure y'all take care of yourselves since these past chapters have been kind of rough. Drink water, eat, sleep, shower, take your meds, and go outside. Have a good day. xoxo
> 
> Kiss You Goodnight :: Meg and Dia


	11. New Year, Old News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes there are people our mind refuses to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I never get sober, fuck it  
> The heart wants what it wants

**Azzy**

After the night of Christmas and as the new year rolled in, England started cooling down. The sun set sooner on the freezing country and left the inhabitants under the dark, starry sky, their breath swirling up into the clouds. It still hadn’t snowed, but Azzy was as hopeful as ever. He had taken Anthony to walk around the town, seeing the nice lights and having a few moderate drinks. Ever since they both woke up with those heavy hangovers, they both were prudent when consuming alcohol. 

Anthony’s gift had come in right on New Year’s Eve. Azzy plopped it down in front of him as soon as he got it, encouraging him to open it. 

Anthony prodded at the box, his xanthous eyes shining to the brim with curiosity. “Whot is it?”

Azzy sighed at him. “It’s your gift. Open it, love.”

Anthony peeled the tape off slowly, tilting his head. He pulled out the tissue paper, spying inside the box. His face lit up when he saw it, making Azzy smile. 

He pulled the nice, golden watch onto this wrist. “Oh, love. I love it. Thank you very much.”

Azzy’s face was evenly covered in a smile. He kissed his cheek, hugging him close. “I’m glad you like it. I knew you would.” He grabbed the rubbish then threw it in the bin. He sat himself down next to Anthony. “Would you like to order food, my dear? I can pay.” 

Azzy had gotten a second job, besides beta reading, at the closest Tesco’s. He now had more money so he could spoil Anthony after the last few months of Anthony spoiling him. 

Anthony rolled his eyes playfully. “If you so wish.”

Azzy took that as an instant command. He grabbed his phone, ordering food from the nearest Chinese place. He paid for every penny. 

After their food had arrived, they were curled up on the couch, stuffing their face. They were watching the tele, waiting for the chime of the clock on 12. They were pretty much silent. They were just affixed on the screen in front of them. Both of their heads snapped to the door when the door opened. It was Gabriel. 

Gabriel gave them an awkward smile. “I’m getting champagne for Michael and I.” He went to the kitchen and left promptly. 

“Is he acting any nicer at all?” Anthony leaned over to face him. 

Azzy shrugged. “Not avoiding me as much, as I suppose. We don’t like each other much still so we just… don’t talk. I’m always with you and he’s always with Michael.” He met Anthony’s eyes. “Why…?”

Anthony shrugged, face hiding something. “Oh, there's no reason.” 

Azzy leaned forward. “Really? Are you sure there’s no reason?”

Anthony blushed. “Oh, no. I promised I wouldn’t tell. Someone I know has something on Gabe and I promised them I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

Azzy scoffed. “It’s Bee, isn’t it?” He crossed his arms. 

Anthony sputtered. “Y- You! You don’t know that!”

“Anthony, dear, I love you, but you don’t have any other friends.” 

“Fine,” Anthony lowered his voice. “Yes, they know something about him, but they don’t want anyone else told. Besides, he doesn’t deserve it.” 

Azzy’s eyebrow raised to his hairline. “Okay, I trust you.” He reclined back on the couch and continued to watch the tele in Anthony’s arms. 

* * *

**Bee**

After their night with Gabriel, Bee thought they were broken. They thought about him a lot. They didn’t like the image of him in their mind, but they couldn’t help it. After they woke up from their hangover nap, they immediately took a shower. Their skin was dirty with his touch, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t scrub him off. Long after the scent of sex and his cologne was no longer on their skin and in their hair, it was still deep in their lungs. He had made them sick.

Bee laid in bed, an intense silence washing over them. Their eyes shuttered closed. Anthony had left them to spend the night with Azzy, so this was their time alone. They thought about going to see Dai but she hadn’t spoken to them in weeks. Bee didn’t want to seem lonely or desperate. So they lay in the deep December dark, on the comfort of their mattress.

They could tell when it was the new year when they heard cheering and fireworks. They turned over in their bed. They honestly couldn’t care less. When the year comes and goes, they don’t care. They’re still going to be depressed and spiteful. New year, same bullshit. They didn’t have it in them to change. Being a bad person was just who they were. 

Bee let out a sigh. They opened their eyes again, hearing a howling in the courtyard. They sat up, dragging their feet over to their window. They flung it open, groaning.

“Keep it down, you arseholes!” they screamed. 

“Finger your gran, you cunt!” someone indistinct yelled back, obviously drunk. There was some cruel laughing from the friends around them, but Bee chose to ignore it. 

They shuffled into the kitchenette, rummaging around. They pulled out a bottle of wine, trying to read the label in the dark. With minimal vision from the moonlight, they could make out that Anathema had bought it for one of their nights together. Hopefully she'll forgive them for opening it now. They just needed something to soothe their insides.

However, as they popped it open and took sips straight from the bottle, Bee found it didn’t help at all. All they could do was think of everyone in their life. They thought of Anthony and how he played their heartstrings like a harp. They thought of Azzy and how they shut him out. They remembered Dai and how they pulled her so close but pushed her so far away. Or how they just used Hastur’s service as an excuse for friendship. They couldn’t help but think of Anathema who they never bothered to get to know. 

Through all this, Bee’s mind kept circling back to one person. That stupid Gabriel. That stupid fucking Gabriel who cheated on his fiancé with someone who hated him. They thought about how when they first met him. They slapped the shit out of him. He deserved it and he deserved another slap to the face for not staying loyal to his fiancé, whoever she was. 

But Bee didn’t feel quite a seething hatred for him. It was an emotion they’ve felt before, but they couldn’t pin it on a map. It only bubbled up in their chest when they thought of him. It pushed all around through them, making their fingertips tingly and antsy. It sparked a fire in their lower abdomen. Was this a different type of hatred?

When Bee thought of him, they couldn’t help but see his angular face and strong arms. They remembered running their fingertips over his muscled chest and gripping onto his strong shoulders as they rode him. It was disgusting but a wonderful night they’ll always remember. They remember his rough hands on their hips and how they manhandled them to get them angled just right. The room was dark but they swore they could see him drinking up their body. Bee couldn’t remember much, but they remember his mouth finding everywhere it could go. 

Their lower abdomen was now burning, setting a fire that spread everywhere. Their fingertips twitched. Oh, they were going to regret this. 

Bee pushed their hand down their pants, feeling themselves. It was embarrassing, it was humiliating, but it was wonderful. Gabe did something to them that they couldn’t describe. The way he held them during that one night together, it made them feel cherished. They wondered if he held his fiancé like that. If he could rough handle her and make sweet love to her like he did to them. The thought made them want to throw up. 

Bee was disgusted at Gabriel for cheating on her like that, but they couldn’t stand the idea of him shagging someone else. They couldn’t understand why. Feelings swirled in their chest and it made them want to scream. They downed the rest of the bottle and finished their wanking session. 

When Bee was done, they didn’t even bother to move. They just fell asleep on their place on the couch. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

As the week ticked by, Gabriel was consumed by guilt. His guilt for straying away from Michael, his guilt for no longer being a virgin, his guilt on how he threw Bee out right after he had awoken. He just didn’t want anyone to see them and he prayed that no one saw Bee leave his room. 

Sex with them wasn’t bad (of course he had nothing to compare it to), but it left a bad taste in his mouth. He couldn’t help but think about how he could’ve turned them down, but he didn’t. He could’ve told them no, to stay loyal to Michael, but he wanted it. 

That’s the part that eats Gabriel up the most. He  _ wanted _ to have sex with Bee. He liked how they kissed him the way they dragged him around. It made him feel dirty inside and out, how he took advantage of his sweet Michael’s trust. 

However, he never told her. Gabriel never even alluded that someone had been in his apartment when she stopped by. He replaced the sheets and took a shower, washing everything that even suggested something about another person. 

Now, though, it was New Year’s Eve. Him and Michael were sitting on her couch, watching TV. They were waiting for the countdown, hands clasped together. Michael fidgeted with her ring. Gabriel smiled as he watched her. Ever since he proposed a few months ago, she has been messing with the ring as a nervous or excited tic. 

The clock struck 11:59. Gabriel turned the TV (or as he lovingly called it around Michael, the “tele”) to the countdown. They waited, watching the screen intensely. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the back of Michael’s hand soothingly, all the way until everyone counted down to one and screamed in celebration. 

Gabe turned to Michael, taking her face in his hands and kissing her passionately. He felt her kiss back with ferver and they stayed there for a moment. They broke apart for air but came immediately back, like magnets attracting each other. He tangled his fingers in her long hair, smiling against her lips. Finally they stopped.

“I love you, Michael. Happy New Year.”

“I love you, too, Gabriel. Happy New Year, love.” 

There were firecrackers, fireworks, shouts and cheers, from the street and in the dorms around them. Gabe placed his head on top of Michael’s. Their New Year celebration was simple, but he couldn’t ask for anything more. 

* * *

**Anthony**

New Year’s was always Anthony’s favorite holiday. Everyone was drunk and happy, the best way anyone could be. He loved it even more with his favorite person. Azzy had bought them dinner after giving him his Christmas gift and he couldn’t help but feel just a tad bit spoiled. It made him happy, though. 

Eating, drinking, and laying on the couch with Aziraphale, watching the tele was the best way to celebrate. He was also happy to finally kiss someone on the New Year, too. Anthony was always a bit of a lonely teenager when it came to love, but now he finally had someone to hold. 

When the clock struck 12, Anthony virtually pushed himself on Azzy. They kissed ardently, pushing hands in each other’s hair. They snogged until they got too antsy to keep their clothes on. They pushed into Azzy’s bedroom, having fun until the clock struck 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one doesn't feel like my best and i'm sorryyyy. leave a comment, kudos, and/or a bookmark if you liked this chapter or are liking this fic so far. I work very hard and it is much appreciated. I love hearing feedback of all kinds (including predictions, those are my faves lol). i try to respond to comments. thank y'all for reading this far. I hope y'all have a great day!
> 
> Die Wild :: Dia Frampton


	12. Lit Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is afoot and nothing good can come out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But I can't help but drive away from all the mess you made  
> You sent this hurricane now it won't go away

**Azzy**

A week after the New Year, school had started back up again and there still was no snow. Azzy still hoped for the best as he walked to his first class every morning. When he strolled, he recoiled into his coat, his eyes stinging. There were days where it was 0 degrees, but there was no precipitation. It was a bit vexing. 

It was perfect cuddle weather, however. He and Anthony would stay all night together every day. They would alternate rooms, as to not annoy their flatmates. Cuddling with Anthony every night made Azzy swear his health was getting better. He made everything better. 

One night, after dinner in Anthony’s flat, he rushed Azzy over to the window. “Angel! Get over here!”

Azzy perked up, walking back to the window he was standing in front of. He peeked over Anthony’s shoulder, letting out a soft gasp. From the dark indigo sky was flurries of white snowflakes fluttering to the ground. 

“Oh, dear,” Azzy purred. “How lovely.” 

Anthony let out a wanton growl. “Perfect love-making weather, angel.”

Azzy scoffed. “Stop. Oh my god…” he grumbled. 

Anthony turned around to kiss him softly, Azzy kissing back. “Come on, angel.” His eyes were hooded. His tongue darted between his lips. “You talk about cuddle weather, why isn’t it perfect weather now to make love?”

He felt his face heat up. He pecked Anthony’s lips. “Oh, alright. You make quite the compelling argument.” He leaned in, pressing their noses together. 

“Then let’s go to my room.” He pecked his lips.

Azzy frowned. “Will Bee be here tonight?”

Anthony made a face. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard from them.”

Azzy nodded, pulling Anthony to his room. He sat on his bed. “Let’s wait to see if they’re coming back.” 

Anthony huffed, nodding. “Fine, we can just cuddle.” 

They both curled up in the sheets, pulling each other close. They held each other in silence, everything as peaceful as could be. For a while.

The door swung open, then it was slammed shut. Azzy sat up abruptly, his confused boyfriend following in suit. They both got up, peering into the living area. Bee was curled up on the couch, sobbing.

Anthony instantly rushed over to them. “Bee, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Bee looked at him, then at Azzy standing in the doorway. “Can I talk to you in private?” 

Anthony glanced back at his boyfriend. Azzy felt worry eat away at him, but took that look as his queue to recede back into the bedroom. He sat on Anthony’s bed, trying to ignore the frantic and hushed speaking coming from the other room. 

Azzy couldn’t help but wonder if Bee was okay. He knew that they were emotionally scattered and that this could be just another paroxysm by them. However, he felt as if there was something worse. They had been out until an ungodly hour of the night and came back sobbing. 

Worry pricked at Azzy’s chest. Bee was most definitely in trouble. 

* * *

**Bee**

Driving a motorcycle on a cold, dark night was a pain in the ass. It’s even worse when it’s snowing and roads are slick. Their face stung at the ice hitting it, their fingers were numb even under their gloves. Why tonight of all nights did they have be in this situation?

They pulled up to a quaint convenience store, dismantling their bike. Ice crunched under their boots as they made their way inside. It was completely quiet inside except for the jingle of the door and the buzzing of the lights. They weaved their way between isles and got exactly what they were looking for. 

Bee walked up to the counter and set the box down. The cashier gave them nothing but an eyebrow raise as he rang them up. Bee paid in cash and went to the back of the store to the restrooms. They came out, tears streaming down their face. They pulled on their helmet and left the store briskly. 

Bee parked outside of the dorms, pushing their way to their own flat. They ignored the late night stragglers glancing at them as they rushed through the hallway. They flung their door open, slamming it closed. They fell onto the couch and sobbed loudly as realization and dread fell upon them. 

Anthony and Azzy must’ve heard them as they snooped out. Anthony immediately came to their side while Azzy stood back per request. 

“Bee… What’s going on?” Anthony’s voice was riddled with worry. 

Bee showed them what was in their hand. Their heart jumped as they heard his small gasp. His eyes darted around as he searched their face for any sign of facetious joking. There was a tough moment of silence.

“Are you really…?”

“Yes, Anthony!” they burst out into another sob. Tears raced down their red, bare face. “You think I would joke about this?!”

His voice was still soft. “Who…?”

Bee sayed quiet for just a second in a pensive moment of weakness. “Gabriel,” they almost growled. They hopped off of the couch, racing to the door and leaving. They could’ve swore they heard Anthony call after them, but they were already gone. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

When school started back up again, Gabriel’s mind was almost clear of Bee. He could feel them in the back of his mind, but he hadn’t seen them since then and he knew the whole thing was behind him. They wouldn’t tell anyone and Michael wouldn’t find out.

Also when school started, Gabe and Michael started planning their wedding. During spring break, they wanted to get married on a gorgeous beach, all of their family and friends there, cheering into the neverending sky as they said their vows. He loved Michael and he knew she was perfect for him. 

This Friday night, Gabe was curled up on his couch with her. His arm was around her shoulders, playing with her hair. They had just gone out for dinner, eating to their hearts’ content. They were now both absurdly full, just resting and watching TV in bliss. Until there was a violent knock on the door. 

Gabe’s eyebrows pushed together. He looked at Michael as if to ask  _ were you expecting anyone? _ She shook her head and shrugged. He got up and answered. What was on the other side almost made him fall backwards. 

It was Bee. The Bee he hadn’t thought about in a week. The Bee who he had betrayed Michael with. His heart sank. Not only was it them, but they were crying hysterically. 

They pushed inside, sobbing. Tears made trails down their make-up-less face. They couldn’t breathe as they sobbed vehemently. Their eyes seemed heavy and tired. “Gabriel,” they looked him in the eyes, whole body shaking. 

“Bee,” his voice was meek in his throat.

Bee pulled something from their pocket, pushing it to his face. “Look what the fuck you did you me!” 

Shock hit Gabe’s entire nervous system. He stood frozen before dread and anxiety could wash over him. His knees went weak. 

Michael stood up from her place on the couch. “Gabriel…? What’s going on?”

Bee whipped around. “Are you Gabriel’s fiancé? Well, I have a great surprise for you.” They pushed the item in Michael’s face. “This is what he did to me!”

Gabriel felt his mouth go numb, jaw quivering. His heart fell to the floor and shattered. “They’re lying,” he said almost instantly. He felt Michael’s angry stare on him.  _ Oh fuck, I am screwed.  _

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony has been worried for Bee ever since they said that they had slept with Gabriel. They’ve been acting odd. They’ve been even more emotional lately and they’ve been eating the same food for a week straight. They’ve also been so tired that they skipped a morning class. He didn’t know how to help them. 

Now though, as they sit on the couch, seeing what Bee had in their hand, it all made sense. Anthony felt coldness rush through his entire body. Something gnawed at his insides.

“Are you really…?”

“Yes, Anthony!” they shouted at him. “You think I would joke about this?!”

He stayed gentle with them despite their rudeness. “Who…?”

There was a sick split second. “Gabriel.”

A dose of worry, fear, and hatred burst through him. He saw Bee get up. He reached out to grab their hand, but they were already out the door.  _ Ah, fuck _ **_._ ** Bee was going to make a bad decision and there was nothing he could do. 

“Shit!” Anthony groaned. 

Azzy poked his head out, slowly entering after he saw only Anthony. “What’s wrong? Where are they?”

Anthony put his head in his hands, sighing. He looked up at his boyfriend for a moment, face trying to be stoic. A tear rolled down his cheek and his lips trembled. 

“Azzy…” he let out a sigh. “Bee’s pregnant.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, kudos, and a bookmark.
> 
> Drive :: Oh Wonder


	13. Chapter 12.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My friend told me to do this little extra for y'all, so here I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't get over what you did  
> Swear that it's holding me back  
> Whenever I sing the music  
> All the lyrics are so sad

**Michael**

“They’re lying!” Gabriel spoke up as Bee shoved a pregnancy test in her face. The test read positive, two lines running across the small window. Michael looked Gabriel in the eyes, a cold anger striking her up and down. 

“What the absolute  _ fuck _ , Gabriel?!” She felt herself tremble, voice quivering. “How long has this been going on?!” She stepped past Bee, going nose to nose with him. 

Gabe opened his mouth, but Bee cut him off. 

“Don’t tell her I’m lying you dumb yankee cunt. I obviously have the test in my hands!”

His eyes closed for a moment. “It was only once,” his voice broke. “I swear. I was drunk. They were drunk.” 

Michael’s heart shattered at the confession. “When was this?” She held back her violent urge to cry. 

“About two weeks ago,” he admitted. “Please, Michael.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I really am. I love you, it was--”

“Shut up,” she said firmly, popping her T. “What the fuck is wrong with you Gabriel?!” She finally felt tears build up inside her. “You said you wanted to wait until marriage and I was fine with that! I respected that because I loved you!” A tear ran down her cheek. “But then you go around fucking the town whore!” 

Michael had seen Bee around. She thought that Bee’s style of dress was inappropriate, but she knew it wasn’t her business so she didn’t really judge them. But now, after this, she knew that Bee was just a slut. 

She whipped around to face them. “Is that your thing, you shag your way around guys in relationships like a skank?! Is that it, you cunt?!”

Bee opened their mouth, but Michael wanted none of it. She turned back to Gabriel. “Guess what?!” She held up her hand, pulling off her ring. She slammed it down on the floor. She watched as it bounced for a moment before grinding it under her heel. “Take that ring and shove it up your arsehole!”

Michael left the scene, promptly slamming the door shut. She sobbed as she ran up the staircase to her dorm. Gabriel had cheated on her. He hadn’t even shagged her before shagging that slut from her English Language class. Now he was going to be a father of a kid that wasn’t her own. Nothing could get worse than this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, kudos, and a comment.
> 
> Lit Match :: Meg and Dia


	14. I'm a Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When someone is broken, there is no hope for them to be able to fix themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll ruin, yeah I'll ruin you  
> I've been doing things I shouldn't do

**Azzy**

Azzy almost fell backwards, the news hitting his ears. He stayed completely frozen for just a moment. He blinked, scoffing. “They’re… They’re what?” 

Anthony wiped his face with his sleeve. He sniffled. “They’re pregnant,” he repeated more slowly. 

So Azzy had heard what he thought he heard. His mouth fell ajar, trying to find the right words to construct a sentence. “Who?!”

His ginger boyfriend stood up, taking his hand. “You might want to sit down.” Azzy let himself get pulled to the couch, worry sparking a fire inside of him. A million names raced through his mind. 

“Angel,” Anthony practically groaned. He rubbed his eyes with one hand. “Bee is pregnant and Gabriel is the father.”

He froze. His eyes widened. He searched for something, just something, to respond with. “ _Beth_?! Gabriel?! Isn’t the man engaged?”

Anthony shrugged, looking down. “That’s what I thought…” He met Azzy’s eyes. “Do you think he cheated on her…?”

Azzy shook his head, eyebrows pulling closer together like magnets. “As much as I loathe the man… He wouldn’t do that to Michael. He’s more Christian than god himself. I wouldn’t even think premarital sex was his scene…” He was soft as he spoke, still trying to wrap his head around the news. 

“As much as I hate to say this,” Azzy spoke up again. “Are they sure that Gabriel is the father? Is there a chance it could be someone else?”

Anthony shrugged, tears finally drying up. “They seem to be pretty sure. And pretty pissed off at him…”

Azzy’s eyebrows threaded together. “ _Ond_? Aren’t they partially responsible?” 

Anthony nodded. “Yeah. I mean… I- I don’t know. I think they went to see him, but I just…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I mean… I don’t know what they’re going to do. I barely got to talk to them before they bolted.”

Azzy shook his head, wringing his fingers. “ _O, Duw_ … Do you think they’re doing anything drastic?”

“It’s Bee, angel! Of course they’re doing something drastic.” He groaned, rubbing his face. “I’m scared for them. They’ve been so… Lost? Lately. This is the last thing they need.” He shook his head.

Azzy put his head in his hands. “I agree… I’m in great fear for them… Do you think they’ll get an abortion? That makes sense, right?”

“Angel, they don’t always make sense!” Anthony gesticulated.

“Well, for Bee’s best friend, you seem to have a low opinion of them.” Azzy crossed his arms, frowning. 

Anthony shook his head. “I love Bee, but they just got themself into a shit load of trouble and it’s…” he sighed. “It’s just a lot! I’ll support them no matter what they decide to do with the baby, but this one hell of a cock-up.”

Azzy swallowed. “Yes,” he muttered. “Yes, I know…” He shifted closer to him. He wrapped his arms around him. “They’ll be okay. You’re a supportive friend and you’re gonna know how to help them.”

* * *

**Bee**

After Michael slammed the door, the room was filled with a crushing silence. They both stared at it before Gabriel whipped around, fury in his eyes. 

“Are you really _this_ crazy?!” He walked over, towering over Bee. “What is _wrong_ with you?”

Bee stared up at him, lips quivering. His grey eyes cried with flame and misfortune. The two were silent, tension crackling between them like firecrackers. “Me…?” Bee whispered, voice heavy. Adrenaline attacked every sense they ever had, making their organs scream.

They then reached up and like a strike of lightning, a crack of skin against skin filled the room in a split second. Their palm burned with the force of their slap. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” 

Gabriel held his face, eyes wide and blaring. “My fiancé just left because of you!” His voice quivered. 

“You did this to yourself,” Bee’s intense voice cracked. More tears trailed down their face and chin. “You didn’t even fucking _bother_ to mention your entire fucking engagement! You’re just a piece of trash! Take some goddamn accountability, you cockhead.” They motioned violently.

Gabriel was quiet for just a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was restrained. “Get out of here. I don’t want to see you around here ever again. You understand me?” 

Bee grabbed him by the chin, making him flinch. Their hands shook, bracing for if Gabriel hit them back. “You don’t talk to me like that, you coward,” they growled. They pushed him backwards. “If I don’t decide to kill the fucking thing, you’re making child support payments.” 

Bee heard Gabriel let out a choked out sob as they left the room. They hurried down the hallway, tears still running. They stopped at Hastur’s door, pounding on it. They wiped their tears away quickly before Ligur opened it. 

“What d’you want?”

“Can I stay over for a bit?” Bee asked, forcing the weep away from their voice. “Azzy and Anthony are fucking in my room. Besides, I need some weed.” 

Ligur rolled his eyes, letting them in. “Do you have cash on you?” 

Bee reached in their bra, pulling out 20 pounds. They handed it to Ligur and rested themselves on his couch. They mindlessly tuned in to the American television program, letting a joint fall between their fingers. 

“How haven’t you been busted by the cops yet?” Bee asked as they exhaled the smoke steadily. 

Ligur shook his head. “Can’t prove it’s us. We don’t keep much weed here and the stuff that’s here is locked up.”

Bee just shrugged and kept smoking until they fell asleep. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel didn’t know what to do. He had never felt this way before. His legs were shaking, his insides were mush, and his mouth was dry. He fell to his knees, tears falling down his face. His mind was slowing as everything that happened ate him alive. Shuddered breaths left from deep in his chest, lips not being able to find one another. A pain struck through his chest as he stared at the ring lying haplessly on the floor. Michael was gone. 

Michael, the love of his life, was gone. She ground the ring into the dirt and left him in her wake. There was nothing he could do about it. His forehead touched the floor and he let out a broken sob. He punched the hardwood, groaning in agony. 

Everything was ruined. Everything in his life was gone, just because of that one night. He was drunk, it was a mistake. Yet it made everything dissipate like someone trying to grab fog out of the cold English air. Nothing was right anymore. 

“Michael,” he let out a pitiful mew. He repeated her name until it was engraved on his tongue. “God, please… Tell me this is a nightmare… Just please tell me I get married and have a good life.”

Gabe’s head snapped up when he heard the door open. It was Azzy. He wiped his face quickly, getting off of the floor. “What are you doing here?” His voice struggled with the force of his pained insides. 

“Gabriel,” Azzy’s voice was soft, his blue eyes softer. “Are you okay?” He walked over to him, eyes searching his face. 

Gabe covered the bruise mark with his hand. “I’m fine.” He sniffled. 

“I know Bee’s pregnant and they think it’s yours.” 

Despite the understanding, soothing voice coming from Azzy, Gabriel flinched at the words. Pregnant. Bee was pregnant. He clenched his jaw. 

“They don’t know that.” 

Azzy tilted his head, placing a hand on Gabriel’s arm. “Have you really talked to them about it?”

Gabriel’s mind froze. He ran the scene through his head again. _They’re lying! … I never want to see you again…_

“No,” he admitted. “No, I… Told them to leave.” 

Azzy frowned. “Well… If you reapproach them with an open heart, maybe you can talk about it. I know it’s very scary… But if you two can talk about it then maybe you can… I don’t know, but it can make this terrible situation just a bit better.

Gabriel swallowed down the thick fog in his throat. “Are you sure? They’re insane!” He pointed to the mark on his face. The amaranthine mark sank into his skin as a dark violet. “Do you see what they did to me? This is what they do!”

Azzy winced, craning his neck to get a good look at it. “Oh, dear. I’m sorry, but… I know them and they’re not as crazy as they make themselves seem. They’re a good person, they just don’t want people to know.”

“What kind of idiot doesn’t want people to know that they’re nice?” Gabriel scoffed. 

Azzy shrugged, fiddling his fingers. “We can’t know what goes on in another person’s heart. Maybe being nice scares them.” 

Gabriel sighed. “Fine. I guess I will.”

* * *

**Anthony**

“I’ll go talk to Gabriel.” Azzy stood up decidedly. 

Anthony grabbed his hand. “Are you sure? You know how he is to you when he’s in a _good_ mood.”

Azzy kissed his hand. “I’ll be okay. I love you.” He turned and left his boyfriend alone in his dorm. 

Anthony sat in silence for a while, skin crawling and itching. He tried to stay still and watch the tele, but he couldn’t help but shift. As the sun fell under the horizon, he paced around the couch, biting his nails. He checked the time after finally going to the dorm across the hall. Bee wouldn’t be in Gabe’s flat still, right? Anthony knocked on the door promptly to be greeted by the intense smell of weed and the naturally scowling face of Hastur. 

“What is it, Tony?”

Anthony looked a bit past him, eyeing the flat. “Is Bee here?”

Hastur stepped aside, letting Anthony spy Bee’s sleeping form on the couch. “What do you think?”

Anthony walked past him, over to his friend. He shook them slightly. “Bee?”

Their eyes peeled open, just leaving a bit of room to see. Recognition flashed in their pupils and they rubbed their face. “Anthony?”

He gave them a warm smile, sitting next to them. “Hey, are you okay?”

They let out a small groan, putting a hand to their head. They sat up. “What do you think?”

Anthony frowned. He rested a hand on their forearm, sniffing them. He made a face. “Did you smoke?” 

Bee narrowed their eyes at him. “Again, what the hell do you think?”

Anthony leaned in and lowered his voice. “While you’re pregnant?!” His grip tightened on their arm. 

They scowled at him, yanking their arm away. “You can’t fucking expect me to keep it, right? I mean,  _ Gabriel’s  _ child? Why would I want that for me or anyone else? If anything, I hope I have a miscarriage.”

Anthony’s mouth fell open. “Oh my god-- Bee, you don’t mean that.”

Bee stood up. “I don’t mean it? Watch me. I’ll do anything I can to make sure this baby fucking dies.”

Anthony opened his mouth to talk but the whisper session was interrupted by Hastur. “So are you two fucking?” 

Anthony looked at him, eyes widening. He blushed. “What? No, they’re just my friend!”

Hastur shrugged, arms crossing. “Looks like you’re about to make out.” 

Bee just let out a laugh. “God, you know I wish,” they said to him. They passed Anthony out of the dorm, him following along. He held the door to their own flat open, letting them inside.

“I understand if you don’t want it… But you can just abort it,” he said, closing the door.

Bee sat themselves down on the couch, crossing their arms. “Fine. But you’re going with me to get one.”

Anthony nodded, sitting beside them. “Of course I will. But also… will you please go see a therapist? Please?”

Bee sat there in silence. Their face was locked up and pensive. “You know what? Fine? I’m going.” 

Anthony hugged them tightly. “God, I love you. You won’t regret it.”

Bee touched his back and scoffed, before cracking a smile. “Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 600 hits! Please leave a bookmark, some kudos, and a comment if you enjoyed. <3
> 
> I'm a Ruin :: Marina and the Diamonds


	15. Something You Can't Walk Away From

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all that needs to happen is a conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lying on a fake beach  
> You'll never get a tan  
> Baby I'm gonna leave you drowning until you reach for my hand

**Azzy**

Azzy woke up in his own bed, alone for once. After he gave Gabriel the best advice he could manage, he decided to go to sleep. Right before, he texted Anthony something, to let his lover know not to worry. He stared at the ceiling for just a second before fluttering his ultramarine eyes closed. Yesterday still had to wash over him again. He replayed the scene until his mind sounded like a broken record. 

_ Poor Bee. Poor Gabe.  _ His heart ached thinking of both of them. After he told Gabe to talk to them, he started sobbing. He explained what had happened with Michael and how she ground the ring under her bootheel. He said that he had watched as his world was destroyed. 

Azzy shifted in his bed, turning to face Gabe’s bed. He strained his eyes in the limited light, but he saw his roommate, fast asleep. Azzy’s face contorted in a frown.  _ Gabe usually has morning classes, right?  _

The blond sat up, stretching a little bit. “Gabriel?” he whispered to him. He tapped his shoulder.

Gabe grunted slightly, turning over and looking at him. “What…?” he asked blearily, rubbing his eyes. 

“I don’t mean to bother you, dear boy, but don’t you have early morning classes?” He wrung his hands, biting his bottom lip.

Gabe nodded before sitting up, his brown hair popping up in an unfastidious mess. “I do, but,” he rubbed his head. “I’m not going.”

Azzy frowned again. “Oh, dear. Are you coming to class at all today?” 

Gabe flatted his hair down, decidedly shaking his head. “No.”

“Oh this won’t do!” Azzy fussed. He checked the clock on his bedside table. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll go take you out to breakfast before my 10 o’clock class. There’s a nice little place around. It has healthy options. You’ll feel better when you eat, alright?” 

Gabriel got up, sighing. “Okay, mom. I’m sorry, I mean  _ mum. _ ”

Azzy laughed in a pained way. “Get dressed, let’s go eat.” He walked from the room, pulling on his coat. He grabbed his wallet, making sure he had enough money in it. 

Gabriel walked out, pulling on his sweatshirt. “I can pay.”

Azzy turned around. “Oh, no you don’t have to.”

“Azzy,” Gabe sighed. “No offense, but I have more money than the Welsh economy is worth.”

Azzy snorted. “That isn’t saying much, but are you sure? I don’t want you to pay for anything right now. I don’t want to make you do anything.”

“Paying for a breakfast for two won’t dent my monthly allowance at all.”

Azzy nodded sadly. “Fine.”

* * *

**Bee**

“And why do you think you did that?”

There was silence after that question. The only noise filling the room was the infuriating clock ticking. Bee didn’t make eye contact, fingers just shifting on their own. It was just a few seconds before the therapist spoke up again. 

“Bee?”

“I don’t know,” they said quickly. “I don’t know why I did that! I just… I felt like he was the only thing in the world. I thought I wouldn’t ever stop thinking about him.”

The therapist scribbled something down. “Were you right?”

Bee shook their head. “Obviously not. Now I can’t get this new cunt out of my head. Probably because he put his dick in me and now I’m pregnant.”

There was sigh from the person across from them. “It’s normal to feel confused about how you feel about someone. Especially with this history with them.”

“But he’s a dick!” they groaned. “He cheated on his fiancé with me and then insisted the baby wasn’t his.”

The therapist nodded. “I understand. Is there any way you could talk to him?”

Bee swallowed. “I guess I could try.”

After the therapist visit, Bee stopped by to get some food and went back to their dorm. The day was unusually sunny and the light was warm on their skin. When they got inside, they laid on the couch, closing their eyes. Tears welled up, and they couldn’t just let them go. They came anyways. Their throat clinched up, making it hard to breath. Their diaphragm rushed as they sniffled and wept. 

The food was done after a bit and they threw the rubbish away. The dorm was empty and silent. Anthony was out taking his classes, probably. Bee couldn’t make themselves do anything. They went to the bathroom and looked at themselves. They needed a haircut. Their bangs were growing into their eyes and their ends had split. 

Bee turned on the faucet and put their hands under it. The cold was a shock to their senses for a moment before they splashed it on their face. They did again and again and again until their skin was red and begging for forgiveness. They turned off the faucet and dabbed their face with a towel. Their tears dried up with it. 

They threw on a few new clean clothes and brushed their teeth. They brushed their hair and put it up. Something had touched their heart and made them act foolish. It was like a ripple when a finger is dipped into a glass. They left their room, walking down the hallway. Each step taken was measured carefully by Bee. They didn’t know what could happen next.

They stopped at the end, knocking on a door very lightly. Their fist shook, knees not being able to support them. Hopefully he was here. 

Bee’s heart accelerated beyond the reasonable pace when the doorknob jiggled. They stood frozen when it opened, face to face with Gabriel. There was a scary silence for a moment before Gabe spoke.

“Bee?”

Bee cleared their throat in response. “Gabriel, we need to talk.”

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabe couldn’t describe the feeling he felt currently. His veins had cold water flowing through them and his teeth fell numb. His voice couldn’t help but shake. The line stuck in his head and played over and over in just a few seconds.

“Gabriel, we need to talk.”

Gabe let Bee sit on the couch while he did everything in his power to stop from making eye contact with them. He wandered back to the kitchen, looking through the cabinets. “Do you want any tea?”

“You don’t know how to make tea, you yank,” Bee groaned. “Come over here and look me in the eyes. We need to talk.” 

He sighed and put his head down. He walked over to them and sat. He glanced up at them. “Yes, Bee?”

“I’m pregnant,” they said bluntly. Gabriel flinched. “There’s no getting around that fact. You’re the dad. No matter if you want to deny it or not.”

Gabriel bit his bottom lip, shame pouring into his chest like hot magma. “Have you tr--”

“Don’t dare ask me if I’ve had a DNA test!” they cut him off. “You’re the only one I’ve had sex with in months that could’ve gotten me pregnant. And when I mean months, I mean over six months. You’re the father.” 

He closed his eyes. Tears started poking their way out. “Right… I’m sorry. That was so… crude of me.”

Bee inhaled and exhaled deeply. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with it yet. I think I’m going to abort it.”

Gabriel cringed when the words hit his ears. A tear fell. All his life he’s been told about the evil of abortion. How people getting them were sluts or evil witches who hated children. He believed it all. Now, though, he couldn’t help but think about Bee sitting in front of him. Desperate and him also being the one who made the mistake. 

Bee started up again when they noticed his reaction. “And I honestly don’t care what you think because it’s--”

“Let me go with you,” he stopped them. He opened his eyes, letting a tear fall. He read the surprise on their face.

“What?”

“Let me go with you to the abortion clinic. It’s my baby, too. I want to be there when it happens.”

Bee swallowed. “You’re not mad?”

Gabriel sighed. “This whole situation is… Just the worst. I think it’s the least of my problems if you abort it…” He put his head in his hands. “Do whatever you think is best.”

They moved their jaw around. “What if I decide I want it?”

His stomach dropped. He looked up at them. He grabbed their hand, frowning as they pulled it away. “I’ll do whatever needs to be done. It’s my baby, too, and there won’t be a day I won’t be with it. I promise. Honestly, where I’m from, it’s only proper I marry you.”

Bee recoiled at that notion. He ignored the sting. “I will do anything in my power to make you and the baby comfortable. Okay?”

They just nodded, sighing. “Okay.”

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony came back home with some food and a cheap bottle of wine. He smiled at Bee sitting on the couch and closed the door. He walked past them and into the kitchen. “Hey, how was class?”

“I didn’t go.”

Crowley stopped, turning around abruptly. He frowned. “What, why? Did you have morning sickness?” 

Bee shook their head. “I’m just… Tired. I had to go to therapy and then I went to talk to Gabriel.”

Anthony gasped. “Oh my god, really? What did he say?” He got two wine glasses and made his way in there quickly. “Was he an ass again?”

Bee shook their head. “He was actually kind of sweet.”

His mouth dropped open. He slid off his glasses, trying to look them in the eye. “Are you serious?”

They nodded. “Honest. He sat me down and told me he’d go to the abortion clinic with me.”

He nodded, pouring them a glass of wine and handing it to them. “Do you want an abortion?” 

They just shrugged, taking a sip. “I don’t know…” They sighed, looking down. “I  _ don’t  _ hate this thing growing inside me, you know?” 

Anthony reached out and grabbed the wine glass. “Well, then--”

“I can still have wine,” they snapped. “Just a glass a week. Let me just have some. I deserve it.”

Anthony shrugged, chuckling softly. “Well, whether you want an abortion or not is you perogative. Did you tell him how you feel?”

Bee shook their head. “I didn’t, but he told me if I wanted to keep it, then he’d be there. He even said something about…”

Anthony’s eyebrow quirked. “About…?”

_ “Marriage,” _ they mumbled, cringing slightly.

He scoffed, mouth falling ajar. “I’m sorry, what?” 

Bee groaned. “I know, right?! He said in his culture it’s only proper to marry me or something. I was sitting there like, I don’t know about all that.”

Anthony shook his head. “Jesus Christ! So no marriage, I guess?”

Bee shrugged. “No. Might fuck him, though.”

_ “Bee, no!” _

“What? You’ve seen him. He’s hot.” They shrugged again. 

“Yeah, but that’s what got you into this mess in the first place!” 

Bee scoffed. “What’s gonna happen? I’m going to get re-impregnated? Nothing will happen. And plus he’s really sexy.”

Anthony groaned and downed the rest of his wine in the glass. He was going to need a lot more of this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos, a comment, and/or a bookmark. 
> 
> PS. sorry for slow updates, I've gotten a lot of course work and my state is like completely shutting down due to coronavirus so it's a lot.
> 
> Radioactive :: Marina and the Diamonds


	16. Feelin' Blue with a Side of Nerves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I had a dream about this once."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self esteem  
> Gimme good and pure, what you waiting for?  
> Gimme everything, all your heart can bring  
> Something good and true  
> I don't wanna feel blue anymore

**Azzy**

Azzy strolled across the park, a concrete trail under his feet. He held Anthony’s hand close to his heart. They were trailing around, looking at the sculptures built up on the radiant chartreuse grass. He stopped at a particularly odd statue. It depicted a rabbit with a human body, sitting on the ground. The rabbit also had particularly large bosoms. He stopped abruptly.

He looked over at Anthony, whose head was turned the other way. Azzy tugged on his sleeve. “Anthony, dear, look at this!” 

He turned to look, face lighting up in surprise. He chuckled. “Man, look at those tits.” 

Azzy gasped, looking at him wide-eyed. “Anthony! That was so… foul! Maybe you’ve been around Bee for too long.”

Anthony scoffed. “Azzy, they’re a parent now. You must know that they’re becoming very mature.”

Azzy shook his head, smacking his lips. “Are they keeping it? Is that their definitive decision?”

Anthony shrugged and sighed. “I dunno, but I’m not here to think about them today.” He moved closer to Azzy. “I just want it to be you and me.”

Azzy felt a blush overcome his face. He bit his lip and looked down. “Oh, Anthony. You’re such a sopping romantic when you try to be.”

Anthony shrugged. “What can I say? I’m super romantic until you show me a statue of a bunny with ass and titties.”

Azzy scoffed. “Anthony! I cannot stand you!” He grabbed his hand, pulling him away from the artwork.

“Well, my dear,” Anthony said, following his boyfriend. “You should sit down.” 

Azzy couldn’t help himself but laugh. He was about to turn around and say something humorous in reply, but then he felt Anthony’s hand on his backside. He jumped, slapping it away. 

“I cannot believe you!” he said, sounding offended. “You know we’re in public, right?”

Anthony shrugged. “So? Your ass is out here in public, too. Everyone else can see it.”

Azzy felt his face heat up for the second time. His face hardened into a glare. “What has gotten into you? You never act like this in public!”

Anthony shrugged, something behind his face. “Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing. I just can’t over your sweet curves, angel.” He made a tacky purring sound, reaching forward to pinch the blond’s hips. Azzy moved away, huffing. 

“No touching of my body below my shoulders and besides my hands and arms. Understand?”

Anthony dropped his head. He spoke quieter. “Yes, angel. I understand. I’m sorry.”

Azzy kisses his cheek. “Good. Let’s continue, dear, shall we?”

Anthony nodded and held his hand as they continued to walk through the vivid and whimsical park.

* * *

**Bee**

Bee laid on the couch, groaning in fatigue. This morning, like many mornings nowadays, they woke up with their stomach and head screaming at them. They ran to the bathroom, barfing their guts up. They definitely weren’t going to class today. Anthony had asked if he needed to stay for them, but they told him to go. So they sat on their couch, home alone. After a few hours of watching the tele, their nausea finally started subsiding somewhat.

The symptoms of pregnancy had kicked in harder over the past few days. They were now throwing up every morning and their boobs were becoming sore. Their hormones also were driving them absolutely up the fucking wall. They’ve been masturbating and humping their pillow for hours a day. All they wanted a good fuck, but no one’s been willing to bite recently. 

Bee whined past the noises of the tele filling their dorm as they slid their hands past their waistband. “Fuck me,” they begged to no one. They pushed their eyes closed, fingers teasing themself as they imagined someone eating them out. Not just someone, but  _ him.  _ They played with their clit, imaging Gabriel’s tongue swiping over it. 

They pushed their fingers inside their own heat, thinking of Gabriel fingering them, fucking them.  _ God,  _ how hot it would be if he bent down, fingering them nice and good, to eat them out until his face became shiny from their wetness. They wanted to ride him and cum on him until his cock dripped. They wanted to suck him off and make him cum all over their chest. 

Bee wanted nothing but ecstasy with him. They pushed their ring and middle finger inside themself, using their thumb to run circles around their clit. They used their other hand to grope their own breast. 

“Gabriel,” they moaned. “Oh, good fuck, Gabriel-”

Bee kept fucking themself on their fingers until an orgasm built in their stomach. They whined and begged to a man who wasn’t there. They finally came all over their fingers, breathing hard from the strength of their orgasm.

They laid there for a moment, chastising themselves silently. How stupid were they to think about this man who hated them? They had to be the dullest cunt in the kingdom to finger themself in thought of him. They couldn’t help to imagine his broad shoulders and his muscles. It was disgusting and they were daft if they would ever think of him shagging them again.

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel laid back on his bed. His eyes were closed as he tried to let sleep take him. It was well into the night and the sun had set and the moon was lighting up his room. Azzy hasn’t made it home yet. He glanced at the clock. It was about 8:30. He said the earliest he’d be home was about 10:00. A smile spread over Gabriel’s face. He had plenty of time. 

Gabriel used to be one who believed masturbation is a sinful act and doing it in any form could get someone punished personally by god. Now, though? He had cheated on his fiancé, had sex with someone he didn’t know, spawned a child from wedlock, and even told the person he had slept with to abort it if they wanted. His life had gone down the metaphorical and moral gutter so much so that he could do whatever he wanted at this point.

He pushed a hand down into his pajama pants to meet his long shaft. Being so down and depressed recently, he needed relief. He heard that masturbation helps boost mental health. No shame in trying, right? 

Gabriel felt around his member, shivering slightly. He pinched and squeezed around, finding out what felt right. He let out a soft moan, biting his lip to stifle it down. He ran his hand up and down it lightly, feeling it harden in his hands. 

He groped at himself aimlessly, not knowing what the hell he was doing. He squeezed his balls, grinding his hips up into the air. He imagined someone putting their mouth on him, cradling them. He imagined pink lips wrapped around his shaft, wetly licking him. 

However, as Gabriel went on for a little bit, he realized who he was thinking about. He thought about the dark hair and sweet, creamy skin. He imagined the gray-blue eyes looking up at him. It was them. Bee. He thought about how deep they could take him. They were a good whore, fucking everyone they met, they could probably take him down to the base. They could probably suck him and restrict their throat around the head. Their lips are always colored in, they’d probably leave pretty technicolored rings around the shaft. 

When they’d pull off him, they would probably suck on his balls and suck a hickey into his thighs. They’d squeeze the head of his cock and rub the pad of their thumb on the red tip. He stroked his cock quickly, flicking his wrist over the tip. It was becoming a deep red, turning almost purple as it hardened to a peak. 

Bee filled his mind, urging to stroke it faster. Their body was so small and easy to hold. Their hips would feel so to grab-- he felt it vaguely on his fingertips from last time he made love to them. He thought about how their breasts bounced as they rode him and their whorish hip movements as he pounded up into them. 

Then when they came on him, it was so warm and wet. Remembering everything made him live in ecstacy again. He moaned loudly, arching his back. His thighs shook as an orgasm hit him. Bee’s name left his lips and he sat there for a moment, breaths coming in gasps. He got up, cleaning his mess as quick as he could. 

He laid down on his bed and fell cold asleep for the night, his session tiring him out.

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony sat in the restaurant, heart racing. God, he hoped his angel didn’t hate him after that whole stunt in the park. He was just so nervous. What Azzy didn’t know, is that hidden in his lover’s pocket, was a small box, holding a gold and sapphire ring. He was trying to play it cool, as if he didn’t have any worries, but now he was afraid that he just came off as boorish and a jackass. 

Anthony inhaled deeply, putting a hand to his chest. “Angel, I can pay for the whole thing,” he insisted for the fourth time. “I promise.”

Azzy shook his head. “No, dear. We’ve known each other for long enough. I think I need to at least pay half.”

Anthony shook his head. “My dear, this is a special night for you! Just for you. Please let me take care of you.”

Azzy frowned, sighing. “Whatever you say, my cariad. Why are you acting so odd?”

Anthony choked. “Ah, uh- Well, I just… I’ve been nervous. A big assignment is coming up and I just want to spoil you tonight.”

Their food came and went, Anthony’s hand ghosting over that pocket many times. But as the night wore on he got more and more nervous.  _ Maybe after desert? _ he thought.  _ Perhaps before we get into the car? _ However, the moment never came and the ring stayed in his pocket all the way back to his dorm. He can’t. He just can’t yet. Maybe next time. Though, he said that every time. He said it all the way up until he dropped off Azzy at his dorm.  _ Maybe next time.  _ And then he never did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long I'm so useless :"  
> And this is really gross and pornographic and I know I'm teasing. I'll get them fucking soon, I promise.  
> Anyways, please leave kudos, a bookmark, and a comment. Love y'all xoxo
> 
> Blue :: Marina and the Diamonds


	17. Chapter 15.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all someone needs is something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just getting cozier with the knife that's stuck in my back...

**Michael**

Michael sat at the table, face in her hands. Tears kept falling, even in public, it was hard to it keep together. That’s why she hasn’t left the dorm in ages. Even most classes she skipped nowadays. She just asked the people in them for notes or a syllabus. Ever since  _ he-who-shall-not-be-named  _ disposed of her like a nappy for someone with less dignity than a pillowcase, she’s felt like she’s floating in an expeditious river, soon about to be dumped into the ocean. Her numb limbs couldn’t thrash against the raw and freezing waves. 

Michael told Uriella what had happened and she saw the anger in her best friend’s eyes. She wished, deep in her lacerated heart, that Uriella would beat the shit out of the he-bitch and his goth scrubber. She wanted that baby to be beat from their stomach. Hatred pierced her through and though. 

However, what Uriella did was console her then take her out to do things to cheer her up. She took Michael to parks, to pools, to plays, and even out to dinner. Tonight Uriella took her somewhere nice. It was completely posh. The lighting was dimmed, candles were placed on each table, there was even a dress code, and it was entirely expensive. Embarrassment made Michael hot and itchy as she cried while sitting at the table, but since the tragedy she couldn’t restrain the tears. 

“Michael,” Uriella spoke up. Her hand reached out, Michael taking it. 

“I’m sorry, love.” She wiped her tears, looking around to see if anyone was giving her odd looks. “I’ve been trying to stop.”

“Oh, dear, I know,” she sighed. “Please don’t apologize. Do you want anything to eat? You don’t have to worry about the price. This is for you.”

Michael shook her head. “You’re too kind to me. You don’t need to do this…” 

Uriella hushed her. “What do you want?” She looked her deep in the eyes. There was a silence until Michael responded.

“Can we share the baked salmon?” she squeezed Uriella’s hand. “I mean if that’s alright.”

She nodded, a smile growing on her face. She flagged down the waiter and ordered whatever Michael wanted. They ended up sharing a decent sized plate and Uriella was handed the cheap bill. 

When they were done, they took each other’s hands and strolled back to the dorm. The night was warm, but Michael still leaned against her flatmate. They were halfway down the hall, Uriella digging out her keys, when she spoke up.

“Thank you,” she said. She lifted her head some to look into Uriella’s eyes. “You didn’t have to spoil me tonight.”

Uriella stopped her, turning to face her. “Michael! Oh, love, you know I had to. I can’t stand to see you like that. Besides, you even told me yourself when you two were dating that he had a stick up his arsehole. This will be better for you to just let him go.”

Michael’s eyes watered, lips trembling. “Oh, Uriella…” She fell forward, hugging her tight in an embrace. Her flatmate’s arms wrapped around her and they stayed for a moment. Her legs grew limp as Uriella swayed them. 

Michael pulled away after a moment, staring deep into those beautiful, brown eyes. They sparkled like a rushing river and filled her with enough warmth to remind her of a mug of hot cocoa. Her eyes fluttered down at the sweet lips perched on her face. It might’ve been the golden lip gloss or the defined shape of them, but something was luring Michael in, attracting her like a pair of magnets would. She leaned in and kissed them just only slightly.

Uriella must’ve gotten the message right away, as she leaned in at the same time, putting her hands on Michael’s waist. Their lips felt warm and electrifying together. Michael could taste her sugary lip gloss, hands reaching up and cupping her face. They stood in the hallway, connected to the lips before Uriella finally pulled away. 

“Let’s get inside and get your mind off of everything, yeah?” she asked, breath heavy.

“Yeah,” Michael replied breathlessly, still lost in the other’s eyes. She then allowed herself to be pulled inside their dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far. This is super long and I don't think I ever intended it to be, but I'm truly passionate about this. Please leave kudos, a bookmark, and a comment! Stay healthy y'all! xx
> 
> Lit Match :: Meg and Dia


	18. Punches and Pitfalls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when you think you've hit rock bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You better know how, to point out the liars  
> You've got you weigh your wars  
> Are you fighting for nothing, nothing?

**Azzy**

Azzy squinted at the recipe on his phone. The font was tiny and nearly impossible to read. How did these websites expect anyone to follow this?! Still, he had to persist. It was Anthony’s birthday in four days and he wanted to surprise him. His boyfriend didn’t really seem to have an affinity for sweet things, but when he did get struck with a sweet tooth, he prefered more sour candies. That’s why Azzy decided to make a lemon and lime buttercream cake. 

Despite having an extensive love for food and being quite epicurean himself, Azzy was, in fact, a kitchen disaster. Everytime they would be over at each other’s dorms, Azzy would insist that his boyfriend should be the one to pop the popcorn or bake the cookies. Every kitchen utensil that wasn’t a kettle was destroyed by him. He would say that he could burn water, but he was of the opinion that his tea was better than that of anyone of his friend group. 

To make matters worse, he made the bad idea of baking the cake from scratch and not just getting cake mix and adding lemon and lime zest. He was stood looking at his ingredients and steps for a few minutes, scratching his head. The first was to add lard and sugar together and mix it. He put a few cups of sugar, mumbling from the article online.

“Add the lard…” he picked up the block and dropped it into the bowl. He stood there for a moment before gasping. “Oh god! Not all of it!” He groaned anxiously, taking a bit out before adding some back in. He grumbled to himself, frowning. He solemnly hoped it would taste right. 

He squeezed some lime juice into the flour mixed with the eggs and milk. He sighed, scowling. He knew he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. Even if the cake was a disaster, Anthony would still love him and appreciate the gesture. He was a loving and caring man; he would never be rude to his significant other. 

Well… Azzy’s mind went back to that date in the sculpture park. Anthony had his fair share of times being flirty and handsy, but only when they were alone. The way his lover grabbed at him like a toddler with a fistful of sweets made him embarrassed and almost feel objectified. He had no clue what had gotten into his love like that. It really was quite odd. 

However, he knew Anthony. It was probably a fluke. He was probably nervous about a test or an assignment as he said. What else could it be? He’s never been so boorish and unbecoming like that in public. 

It was quite sad, actually. Azzy was planning on proposing that night. He had planned weeks in advance and had bought a nice silver and red ring. However, he figured Anthony’s nerves were too high end and he most likely didn’t feel like making a life-changing decision right then.

Azzy shook his head, turning up the Welsh language station his radio was set on. The thought of what happened made him feel almost sad. He needed to focus on his current task. He tapped his fingers and continued to work. He prayed to god this would be good.

* * *

**Bee**

Bee watched as Anthony’s face scrunched up in pain. The needle buzzing away at the junction between neck and shoulder was still in the process of drawing out a small red-bellied snake. Tears welled up in his eyes as he squeezed their hand tighter. Their hand almost cracked under the pressure of their best friend’s force. 

The skin around the new image was red and swelling up only slightly. A single tear finally rolled down his cheek. Bee just smiled. 

“How’re you holding up, Anthony?”

He grimaced. The tattoo was their idea, but he had no one to blame but himself, since he seemed to like the prospect of getting a permanent piece of art embroidered into his skin. However, now, Bee could tell that he was second guessing it. It was too late now. 

“Remember,” Bee said. “I did this twice before.”  _ Three, if you count the time I got your name tattooed on me. _

“How the hell?” Anthony spoke through gritted teeth. He didn’t even attempt to meet their eyes anymore. 

They let out a chuckle. “Once you do it one time, it’s not as bad as the other times.” They then shrugged. “Well, depends on where you get it, I guess.” Bee then gave him a mischievous smile. “Where you’re getting it, it probably hurts like a bitch.”

He shot them a nasty look. “Cunt.”

Bee laughed again. They craned their neck to see what the tattoo artist had done. A beautiful snake, made of obsidian and ruby, slithered its way from his shoulder to rest on his prominent collarbone. The tattoo artist had almost completely filled in the colors. Just the head to go. They leaned back to look at Anthony. “You’re almost done.”

About 15 minutes later, it was completely done and Anthony was let free. His wound was cleaned and bandaged and he was told how to take care of it in the passing days. Bee insisted they’d help him and paid for the entire thing. 

Leaving the parlor, Bee stopped cold in their tracks as a familiar sight burned their eyes. Anthony fell back slightly at the suddenness of their movement. Right in front of them, across the street, was Michael Archer. She stood like a statue carved of dark stone from a bad omen. She didn’t stand threateningly, she probably didn’t even see the two as they left the threshold of the building. She almost looked like she was waiting for someone in the dark street. 

Bee let out something that almost sounded like a growl. Intensity and hostility built up inside of them, making their fists ball up and chest puff out. They let go of Anthony’s hand stepping forward. They heard him call out their name in a panicked whisper. They ignored him. 

“Michael!” they screamed, stopping in the street. 

Her head snapped up. Her eyes flashed with realization then with the seething, burning passion of hatred. “Bee,” she spat. “The whore.” She stepped down from the pavement to go face to face with them.

They took in the fact that a dress draped her body and heels braced her feet. Bee’s eyes flicked up to hers, the striking anger from each fought and battled. The tension in the air fizzed like a bottle of soda. 

Bee’s tongue darted to wet their lips. “You call me the whore, but you’re the one who seems to be on a date after your  _ engagement _ was broken off a week ago.” They shook the bottle, the pressure building. 

“At least I’m not shagging everyone I meet.” Michael was taller than them, they figured she took some sick pleasure in that. “What is this? Your third baby? And you’re just going to get rid of it like all the others. You know, they probably should cut you off at this point. Three abortions is a lot.”

Bee’s teeth gritted. Hurt penetrated their chest and their eyes watered. The bottle was about to explode. “I’ve never had an abortion, you cunt,” their voice cracked. “And I’m not a whore!” The plastic cracked and finally burst. They swung their arm back then forward, knocking Michael back with the force of their punch. 

She screamed, her ankles wobbling from her unstable shoes. She fell backwards, scraping her palms on the ground. Bee stood over her, finally getting a vantage point. They put their boot on her chest. “If you want to talk shit, make sure you can fucking fight. Dickhead.” 

A sharp pain in their calf took Bee aback as Michael dug her nails into the skin. Their body was pulled down to the ground, face slamming against the concrete. Shock raced through their system before they could finally feel the sting on their skin and the taste of blood. They rolled over, laying back on their elbows. They spied Michael for a split second before kicking her in the ankle, sending her to the ground as well. 

Bee got up on wobbly legs, swiping down and punching Michael in the nose. As quick as that happened, they were on the ground again. Michael had grabbed their arm and pulled them down beside her, head bouncing on the rough road. She got on her knees above them, a rageful stare penetrating them. Fear swept through Bee as they saw Michael rear her elbow up above their stomach, about to bring it down. Their hands raced to protect the area and they braced themselves for impact. However, nothing happened. 

Bee opened their eyes after a second, vision blurry. Yelling pounded their eardrums as they felt themselves be picked off the ground. They thrashed around a bit before more people came to keep them still. Police officers were restraining them. 

_ Shit,  _ they thought to themself.  _ I’m in big trouble now. _

* * *

**Gabriel**

The sadness tugging at Gabriel’s chest hasn’t gone down as much as he believed he’s getting used to it. What once was a stinging pain from the blade of a knife now became a dull thud from the end of a fist. It hurt, but he could now function with it. 

Gabriel sat at his kitchen table, furiously hurrying on his school work. After missing a few classes due to his life taking a downward spiral, his grades had also taken a nosedive. He knew he needed a good education to get a good job and support his family. 

God,  _ a family.  _ What seemed so close now seemed so far away. If he could have just kept it in his pants, he would still have Michael and in four years they would be married and having kids. Now that was never going to happen. Instead, he got Bee pregnant, someone who hated his guts and probably found it impossible to settle down with a child and a husband. And through all this, he had no one to blame but himself.

That was the hardest part. Gabriel was angry. He was furious, but couldn’t do anything but know that he was the one who brought his own downfall. At first, he wanted to blame Bee. He wanted to say that they should have never thrown themself on him, but they couldn’t have known. He wanted to tell off Michael or Uriella for dragging him to that party, but he didn’t have to go. The only direction a finger could be pointed was toward himself.

Gabriel’s eyesight became blurry with tears. He blinked them away to continue reading and just finish his homework. He just didn’t feel like he could. He let off a sniffle, which must have alerted his roommate working in the kitchenette.

“Gabriel, dear boy, are you okay?” Azzy asked.

His head snapped up. “Yes, why do you ask?”

Azzy turned around to face him. Gabe quickly wiped his face. The blond crossed his arms. “It’s funny how I don’t believe you.”

He shook his head. “I’m fine, I swear. I just need to do my school work.”

“I know you need to do your school work. But you know what else you need? Therapy, dear boy.”

Gabriel threaded his eyebrows together, giving him an odd look. “What? Why would I go to therapy? It’s not like I’m crazy or anything.”

Azzy sighed, pulling out the chair across from him and sitting down. “Therapy isn’t just for those who are mentally ill, Gabe.” He crossed his arms over the table. “When my mam-gu died, I was very sad. I felt like I was stuck in a hole and I couldn’t get out. It felt like nothing could get better. Then I went to go see a therapist and she helped me figure out what I was feeling and how to organize what I was thinking and eventually how to move on from that place in my life. I feel like you might need some help as well.”

Gabe swallowed, looking down. A tear slipped its way from his eye and down his face. His hands swiftly wiped it away. “Fine,  _ mum _ . Whatever you say.”

Azzy let out a soft laugh, going to continue his caking baking as Gabriel went to finish his homework. After a brief moment of silence, he looked up from the book. “What the hell is a mam-gu?”

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony raced to his car, following the police. His mind raced a million a minute. When his car started, Freddie Mercury’s vocals blared in his ears. He slapped the radio off. For once, a Queen song isn’t what he needed right now. His nostrils flared as his breath was forced in and out. 

“Bee, what the fuck?!” he screeched, even if they couldn’t actually hear him. His foot pushed harder on the gas pedal, going ahead of the vehicle in front of him. Maybe if he got there before they did, he would be able to speak to them. 

Anthony gritted his teeth, pulling up to the police questioning center. He turned his car off, despite the particularly chilly night. He let his forehead fall forwards onto the steering wheel. A heavy groan rumbled from his throat. 

His head shot up as car doors slam. Both Michael Archer and Bee Bubbles were escorted out of their respective vehicles in handcuffs. Anthony noticed Bee stumbling and his stomach dropped. Anxiety slithered down his throat and into his stomach, making him feel like his last meal would come back up. They could be seriously injured. Even if they weren’t, a baby could still be lost from something minor. 

Anthony slipped from his car, slamming the door and locking it. He rushed in after the police before getting stopped by someone. 

“Sir,” The stranger dressed nicely said as he put a hand to his chest. “Where are you going, sir?”

“My friend!” Anthony said desperately, gesticulating wildly. “My friend, they just got arrested! May I speak to them? Please?”

“What’s your friend’s name, luv?” A woman in a uniform walked out. “Were they part of the pair we just brought in?”

Anthony nodded. “Yes! Yes! Bee Bubbles is their name. They’re the small Yorkshire one. Please?”

She nodded. “We have to give them medical attention first. We’ll let you in as soon as they’re done. You’re going to have to wait out here, alright?”

Anthony sighed, sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting room. He pulled off his hat and sat it in his lap. He rested his head on his palm and waited for a good 45 minutes before his name was called. He walked into a small room to see Bee lying back on the small bed in a cell. 

Anthony rested his head against the cool, metal bars. “Bee, what the hell is wrong with you?”

They looked at him, sitting up very slowly. “Didn’t you hear her talking shit?” they grumbled defensively. “She needs to stop blaming me for something Gabriel did.”

He shook his head. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed! And you might be in jail for a while. You’re the one who threw the first punch.” He watched them mumble to themself for a second before speaking up again. 

“Did you get seriously hurt or anything?”

Bee shook their head. “No, just a concussion.”

Anthony’s eyes widened, the snake in his stomach slithering around again. “Bee! Oh my god! Your baby could be dead!”

Their eyes flashed with what Anthony could only describe as anger at his words. “I’m bloody okay! They’ve got a doctor on it. I asked about if my pregnancy will be okay and they’re getting me a doctor’s visit. I’ll finally get an ultrasound.”

Anthony sighed. “I can’t believe you. I really bloody can’t. I pray this baby will be alright.” He looked up and met Bee’s eyes.

“Go home, Anthony,” they said. “I’ll be alright, okay? Come by tomorrow if I don’t get out. I don’t know how long I’ll be in here.” 

Anthony swallowed, tears forming in his eyes. “I love you, Bee,” his voice cracked. “Stay safe, okay? And you’re a stupid cunt. I hope you don’t go to prison.”

“I love you, too, Anthony,” they replied. “Don’t worry about me. I’m pregnant, they won’t send me to prison. Worry about Michael. She’s the one who gave me a concussion.”

Anthony shook his head. “You’re the worst and I hate you. I hope you can sleep okay tonight and I hope your baby lives.” 

He turned his back to them and walked outside to his car. He sat there for a moment, letting tears stream down his face. He sucked in a breath and wiped them away. Then with that, Anthony pulled away from the building and drove back to his dorm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos, a bookmark, and a comment! Thank you for reading this far. 
> 
> Fighting For Nothing :: Meg and Dia


	19. Chapter 16.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things can't be let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never knew that love could feel so torn  
> My arms are heavy, they're brick and bone  
> Had I blinked the moment that we met  
> You stopped my heartbeat  
> It didn't start again

**Michael**

Tears streamed down Michael’s face. Mascara and eyeliner smudged on palms and cheeks. She sniffled, diaphragm contracting and expanding in stress. A nurse cleaned the blood running from her nose off of her face, helping her calm down some. The wet, metallic smell from her nose almost made her want to vomit. 

This night was supposed to be a date with Uriella. 

The nurse looked her in the eye. “Are you okay?”

Michael grimaced at him slightly. “You’re the nurse, aren’t you?”

He laughed at her. “I’m a nurse for physical injuries. Are you okay, emotionally? That fight was really intense. Who was that bird?” 

Michael shook her head. “They were no one…”

The nurse quirked an eyebrow. “No one? They made your nose bleed. They’re proper fucked up. Why were you fighting?”

She looked down, biting her lip. “Sounds ridiculous… But it was over a boy…” She laughed, shaking her head. “God, what the hell is wrong with me?”

The nurse nodded. “Trust me, no boy is worth it.”

Michael nodded in return. “I know that better than anyone…” She crossed her arms, not making eye contact. She stared at the far wall. “I’m only dating women now, I think.”

He nodded. He stood in the doorway. “Try not to fight over girls, okay?” He then left her alone in the cold, desolate room with nothing but her hurried and laboured breathing. 

She laid back on the stone-hard mattress, sobbing harder than ever. Tears overflowed from her eyes, falling down the sides of her face. After lying there for a moment, an ugly familiar voice rang in her ears and filled her with hostility. She felt her hair raise. 

“Michael?” his voice echoed gently. 

She sat up quickly. “Gabriel,” she growled. Her fists clenched the sheets. 

Gabriel sighed, resting his head against the bars. He looked to the floor. “Hey… Look, I…”

“If you’re here to apologize, I’ve heard before and I don’t want it,” she stood up, clenching her jaw. “I fucking hate you. I will never forgive you!”

Gabriel shook his head. “That’s… not it. I’m going to bail you out.” He gripped the bars, looking up at her. “And I’m trying to convince Bee not to press charges. And since they threw the first punch… To try to convince you not to.”

Michael’s stomach twisted and turned. “What? What would they want to press charges?”

Gabriel’s eyes grew and worried as they went to meet hers. “Michael, you gave them a concussion. That can cause a miscarriage. The police are going to charge you with ABH and Bee wants to make sure you get all five years. I’m just trying to get you out.”

Michael scoffed. “Why do you want to help me? Why not your baby-whore?”

Gabriel closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “This is all my fault… And please stop calling them names. They didn’t do anything wrong.”

A flame set deep in her reared up, making her voice elevate. “They did nothing wrong?! Fucking shagging men who are already in relationships and bursting in when they get pregnant? That’s morally sound to you?!”

“They didn’t know, Michael!” his voice cracked, eyes turning red and filled with tears. “I didn’t tell them, we didn’t even know each other. I had only seen them before with Anthony… I didn’t even know their name. They didn't do anything wrong.”

Michael stood frozen, jaw quivering. Shame and guilt floated through her like smoke, filling her body up as if someone was smoking a cigar in a small room. There was an oppressive silence before Michael spoke up again. “Just get me the hell out of here.”

He nodded. “Right. I’m on it.” He withdrew himself from the room hurriedly, leaving Michael alone once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos, some feedback, and a bookmark! Stay safe, y'all! xoxo
> 
> Dead Man :: Dia Frampton


	20. The Endless Bleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking responsibility hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty-two hours, pacing the room  
> Praying for you, hot cup of coffee  
> They said you're sleeping, no news is good  
> Nothing to do, cold cup of coffee

**Azzy**

Aziraphale stood in the kitchen, properly covered in flour. His hips leant against the counter, sipping a cup of tea. The warm oven radiated a softness only a mild summer’s day could. This combined with the red-orange sun falling gracefully down the horizon and the light shining through the window made the Welshman feel a sense of comfort he hadn’t felt in a while. 

The oven spoke, but not in words. In dazzling smells that swelled and swirled in the air like light green steam. Azzy could smell the lemon and the lime. Despite his nerves of how the cake would turn out, the scent was absolutely phenomenal. 

The last of his jasmine tea was soon gone, Azzy putting the cup in the sink and looking down at his squalid shirt and pants. He would go to clean himself up, but Gabriel was taking a much needed warm shower. His blue eyes ran over the scattered books and papers slammed shut hurriedly on the table. After a few hours of doing homework, his roommate triumphantly finished and made his way to the bathroom for some time to himself. 

The shower had taken over 20 minutes, but Azzy didn’t mind. Gabriel needed it more than anything. A smile drew up on his face, thinking of the conversation they had beforehand. Gabe agreed to go to therapy. That was wonderful; he really needed it. Azzy could see the pent up grief and anguish in those deep blue eyes, it was driving him mad. 

His hips swayed to the music still bursting note by note from the radio. Despite him not hearing the song before, he mumbled some of the words he retained from the chorus.  _ Mae rhywyn wedi dwyn fy nhrwyn…  _ A laugh danced on the edge of his lips at the light-hearted sentiment. He perked up, hearing the shower creak off. Azzy let out a sigh, from deep within his chest cavity. He finally would be able to wash up. 

He made his way to his room, finding some pajamas. He walked back to the kitchen, waiting for his roommate to come out. The sky was becoming a new shade of indigo when Gabriel left, hair still a bit damp. They exchanged smiles before Azzy got up to take a shower. Or at least he wanted to. 

At that moment, Anthony flung the door open, breathing heavily. “Oh my god! Something’s happened!”

Azzy’s eyes widened as he stopped in his tracks. His heart beat through his chest. He’s never seen his boyfriend so panicked. “Anthony! My dear, what is it?!” He dropped his clothes, rushing over to him.

“Bee and Michael got arrested!”

He instantly was taken aback, almost feeling the need to retain his balance. “I’m sorry, what?!”

“They saw each other in the street, got really mad, they started fighting and now they’re both arrested!” he got out as quickly as his tongue would let him. “Bee has a concussion, but they threw the first punch so now they’re both probably in huge trouble!”

A shocked silence filled the room. Tension built up, if anyone tried to move, the air would shatter like glass. However, Anthony made an assured movement. 

He pointed to Gabriel. “You.” 

Azzy turned to look, seeing his roommate’s eyes swell with anxiety. 

“You,” Anthony repeated. “You’re coming with me to bail them out. They fought over you, it’s your fault.”

Gabriel audiably swallowed. “Okay,” came his meek reply. He stood up, following Anthony out the door on shaky legs. 

Anthony then turned around. “I’ll be right back, baby. I’ll tell you the whole story.” He pecked Azzy on the lips and left him there, stunned and alone. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee leant their head against the stone wall behind the tough mattress. The head pain still hadn’t subsided, but their vision was now finally less blurry.  They had been given them half of a pain relieving pill but it didn't stop the throbbing.  Tears streamed down their face, their hands wiping them away every so often.  They stared at the ceiling, one hand on their abdomen, the other wiping away the cascade of tears rolling down their cheeks as they hiccuped with every breath .

“You’ll be okay,” they mumbled to themself. They inhaled deeply, the breath being ragged and unsteay. “ _ We’ll  _ be okay.” They looked down at their stomach. There was nothing visible yet, but there would be soon. Hopefully. 

Bee’s teeth clenched, a sob letting out. They were only a month along. The baby would be okay, right? The nurse told them that the concussion was minor and it was still an embryo. It could live through this. Right?

Horror raced cold through their veins at the idea. The idea that they would go get an ultrasound and be told they would have a miscarriage. They started shaking, breathing rushing faster. Their stomach twisted and turned and even though they were shaking, they were paralyzed. 

Bee’s hands and feet grew tingly as they felt they lost control of their face muscles. They pulled in gasping breaths, their lungs filling with boiling water. Their diaphragm pushed up and down erratically, desperately trying to grasp air. 

Everything would be going down the drain. Bee would need to drop out of school due to the pregnancy, but then the baby probably wouldn’t even be fucking alive. They’d be out of school without even a plan. They’d probably have to move back in with Anthony while they try to finish up their years. They’d be broker than an ugly pornstar and would probably be living off of his and Azzy’s dime. The couple would for sure be tired of them at that point and kick them out. They’d be homeless and die in the streets. God-fucking-damnit, why didn’t they just get a fucking abortion when they had the chance? Why’d they have to be so painfully stupid to keep a child when all they wanted to do was drink, smoke, and fight?

The world around them thinned, turning almost fake, like a layer of clingfilm, flimsy enough to pierce with the thumb. It didn’t shatter like glass, just got torn apart and blew away in the wind. Everything was ruined and nothing could be the same. 

Bee’s vision went dark and faded. Everything caved in, the world spinning to the speed of their rushed heart. They were losing their damn mind. Their life rolled downhill like a giant boulder right before their eyes. Nothing could be worse.

If they would have just gotten an abortion, if they would have never shagged Gabriel. If they never went to that party, if they never even came to uni in the first place. They should’ve stayed home, just be a defeated artist in their mum’s basement. It would be better than having a baby with a rich man who couldn't be bothered to treat anyone around him right. 

How in the hell could they ever have been so stupid?

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel sat in the passenger side of Anthony’s car, letting the harsh words wash over him. They burned him like pepper spray to the eyes. 

“I don’t want to hear you bitch about paying their bail, ya fuckin’ chopper, ya hear me? You ruined both of their lives with your stupid desicions! Both of these people have to take responsibility for something  _ you _ started.”

Tears pricked at his eyes. The words dug into his skin like knives. However, he just stayed silent. Some of the words he didn’t even understand, yet he felt the violent rage deep in his heart.

“An A dinnae hate ye, but ye're a dick! Ye neit tae dae somethin guid in ye're life for once! An dinnae ye dare interrupt me, A'm fuckin fumin richt now! Ye're lucky A dinnae beat yer ass for the fuckin pain ye causit both o thaim.”

Gabe swallowed. He didn’t even know if they were words anymore, but the anger behind them burnt his skin black.

“Ye've got more money than god, ye can afford tae fork ower a few thousand pounds. E'en then, ye're no gaun'ae be forgiven. Dinnae e'en get me startit on hou ye treat ma boyfriend, ye douchebag! Ye absolute, complete, homophobic douchebag! A oucht tae fuck ye up! Rip ye a new ane, ye're juist lucky Azzy wonae let me. Is thon hou terrible o a person ye are, ye're such a dobber thon ye're rude tae people wha dinnae e'en want tae defend themselves? Ye're rubbish!”

He pulled up to the police station, finally falling quiet. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He looked Gabriel in the eyes with his striking amber ones, chewing his lip for a moment. “Are you going in there or what?”

Gabe nodded, getting out of the car. He followed Anthony inside to where he could speak to the officers. They let him into the room with Bee’s cell. His eyes fell downwards. What would he say to them? I’m sorry? Here’s four thousand quid and we’re even? 

Gabe rounded the corner and his stomach twisted and fell at the sight of them. It was worse than he wanted to think. Their lip was split and their makeup running. Their breathing was ragged and their hand was splayed on his stomach in some desperate plea to make sure the child inside them is safe. 

“Bee?” He spoke softly. 

They jumped, their eyes widening for a moment. They started wiping their face, smearing the dark eyeliner further. “What the hell do you want?”

Gabriel didn’t answer. “Are you okay?” he asked. He gestured to them. “Is…”

“Our child okay?” they finished his sentence with a bite. “Who fucking knows. I’m such an idiot and went and got a fucking concussion.” Their voice quivered, gasping back another sob. 

His stomach twisted, making him bite his tongue to fight off the pain. He coughed into his hand, gagging slightly. His voice could barely fit through his tightening throat. “Are you going to have a miscarriage?” His voice stung like razor blades sliding up through his mouth. “Is it gone…?” Tears pricked his eyes, he held his face to hide them. 

“I don’t know!” Bee snapped at him. They quieted down, cutting their eyes to the floor. “It could be… Our baby could be gone and it’s all my damn fault.” Their voice broke, wrenching his heart further sideways.

Gabriel shook his head. “Don’t say that… I started this… Which is why I’m here to bail you out. You and Michael.”

Bee’s head snapped up. Their eyes seemed to rev up with anger for a moment. “Michael?!” they spat. They got off of the mattress, walking over to him. If it weren’t for the bars separating them, he swore they’d have slapped him again. 

“That cunt gave me a concussion! I might have a miscarriage! And you want to bail her out?!” Their knuckles whitened at how hard they were gripping the bars.

Gabriel grabbed them, too, hands just below theirs. He stared them in the eye as he spoke. “Yes. And when you two are out, you are not going to even look at each other anymore, okay? Don’t try to sue her or whatever… Just please, I know both of you are hurt by what I did and… All I want is you two to not be angry at each other for what I did.”

Bee stared at him, jaw quivering. “Then what the fuck are you doing, yank? Get me the hell out of here.”

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony yawned, stretching his back. It’s been close to an hour. His eyelids drooped, calling him to the sweet arms of sleep. He checked his watch. It was almost 12 am. Did paying bail take this long? He closed his eyes, leaning on his elbow. He should just maybe take a nap… That’s when he heard his name. 

“Anthony!” He instantly sat up, eyes meeting Bee’s. All of his muscles loosened, springing from his seat.

“Oh, thank god!” He ran over to them, wrapping his arms around their waist. “Are you okay?” he asked, lips against their forehead. 

They squeezed his waist. “I’m okay…” they muttered. “I think.”

Anthony pulled away, looking to Gabriel. “Is everything settled?”

He nodded in return, eyes not bothering to meet anyone’s. “I think. Uh, Bee can’t go to class for a few days. The concussion is minor, but…”

“I still have to stay home,” they interrupted. “And rest and all that. Now, let’s go.” They tugged on Gabe’s hand. “I want to be out of this damn place.”

A small smile tugged up on Anthony’s lips, seeing the small gesture they made to Gabriel. He pushed it down, turning around and letting them follow him to his car. He got in, waiting for the others to as well.. 

Anthony watched them in the rear view, seeing Gabe opening the door for Bee and letting them in. He got in next to them, them instantly leaning against him. Anthony finally showed teeth with his smile, but he wouldn’t let the other two see it. Bee was probably just tired, but he hoped deep in his heart Gabriel said something enough to have them forgive. It probably wasn’t true, Bee wasn’t anyone if they didn’t hold grudges, but maybe something changed. 

Maybe. Hopefully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was kind of intense, but I hope y'all are staying safe. I know not all of my audience is probably any type of religious but I pray that Raphael is gracing y'all with health, Gabriel is gracing y'all with hope, Michael is gracing y'all with motivation, and Uriel is gracing y'all with wisdom. I can't believe I've reached 20 chapters (?!) and I'm not even wrapping it up quite yet, I hope you all are enjoying it and I can't help but just say thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me. I've been writing for as long as I could speak and it's been a blessing see that people support me even as an amateur. So with that being said, please leave kudos, a bookmark, and a comment!
> 
> Better Now :: Oh Wonder


	21. Chapter 17.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My apologies. Even if it isn't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Cause I have lived my life in debt  
> I spent my days in deep regret

**Michael**

Michael stared at the ceiling in her dark bedroom. The white color became grey in the dimness. She rested her head against Uriella’s warm chest, tangled in her arms and legs. They pressed against each other, cramming themselves in one twin bed. They could’ve just slept in their respective beds, but Michael needed someone to cuddle with after her arrest. 

However, after some snogging, Uriella promptly fell asleep, and Michael couldn’t help but feel something weighing down on her. It sat on her chest, making it hard to breath. Guilt. Each breath she took swirled in the air as a sickly shade of green. No matter how much she exhaled, she couldn’t get rid of the feeling from her system.

Bee. Oh, that poor, unfortunate Bee. She ruined their life, and for what? Being used just as Michael was. Gabriel took both of them and violated them. He used Michael for her love and Bee for their body and blamed both of them for what happened. They took it out on each other instead of him.  _ What a fucking piece of shit.  _

Michael stirred, pulling herself away from Uriella. Something beat her heart, like a jolt of electricity, telling her to go. She started getting dressed, stopping when she heard her girlfriend’s voice. 

“Michael? Baby, what are you doing?” She asked, sounding drowsy and confused. 

She turned around, pulling on her sweater from the night before. She stood there in the dark for a moment, avoiding eye contact. “Apologizing.”

Uriella sat up, frowning. She rubbed her bleary eyes. “To whom?”

Michael tossed her hair back. “Bee,” she sighed, tugging on some trousers. “I will be back. Don’t get worried about me getting in a fight again. If it gets violent, I’m leaving.”

Uriella got up, grabbing her shirt sleeve and making Michael turn around. “I’m coming with you then.”

Michael’s eyebrows threaded together. “Oh, baby. Don’t.” She laced their fingers. “Bee and I are doing this woman to… Whatever, this needs to be resolved with just us.”

Her girlfriend swallowed, squeezing her hand. “Okay, call me if you need anything. Be safe.”

“I will,” she muttered. She pecked her lips and left her dorm. She made her way down the stairs and down to the door she swore she never wanted to see again. Still, she knocked. Michael waited for a moment, bouncing her leg nervously.

She braced herself as the door opened just a bit. She was then greeted by the utterly bemused face of Gabriel Angelov. He looked at her for a moment, arching an eyebrow. 

“What are you doing here? I don’t mean to be rude but it’s…” He turned around to check a clock. “2:30 AM. And you hate me.”

“Where’s Bee’s dorm?” she asked, lips heavy. Her voice came out raspy. 

The color drained from Gabriel’s face. He gripped the doorframe. “Michael, please. This is over.”

She glared at him, scowling. “I don’t want it for that, dunce. I want to apologize.”

He swallowed, glancing back in his room. “Well uh… well uh,” he repeated. “They’re in my dorm. Uh, they have to rest up because of the concussion. But, I can go get them.”

Michael’s mouth dropped open. Her eyes widened and for a hot moment she felt anger flash through her. No. “Oh, my god, are you?-”

“No,” he cut her off sternly. His jaw tensed. “Absolutely not.”

She blinked, taken aback by the quick response. “Okay, sorry.”

Gabriel turned around and let her inside. He made his way to the bedroom. Michael sat on the couch, crossing her legs. There was some faint talking before Bee came out. 

They had obviously just woken up, as their movement seemed stiff and their eyes were bleary. Their face was clean of any of the heavy makeup they usually wore and their bangs stuck up from their head. “Michael, what the fuck?” they groaned. 

She got up, inhaling deeply. “I just want to apologize,” she said quickly. “I didn’t know…” she looked away for a moment. “I thought you knew he was engaged,” she said. “And I feel terrible, I really do.” She looked up to see eyes that no longer looked tired. They were angry.

Bee arched their eyebrow. They almost seemed offended. “You’re sorry? I might have a miscarriage and you want to say ‘sorry’?” They scoffed, covering up their voice break. “Are you fucking serious?”

Michael shook her head, closing her eyes. Her stomach dropped. “You don’t have to forgive me. I understand. Just know how sorry I am.”

Bee scowled, gritting their teeth. “I fucked your ex-fiance and I’ll do it again. You’re lucky I don’t beat the fuck out of you right now. Get away from me and if I even see you  _ look  _ at my baby, I will beat your ass.”

Michael inhaled deeply, breath stuttering. Knives hit her in the chest. Her muscles tensed and she balled her fists. But she relaxed again. “Bye, Bee. Have a good night. I hope you have a healthy baby.” 

She opened the door and left. She walked down the hallway, thinking to herself:  _ What the hell have I done? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, some kudos, and a bookmark! Thank you for reading this far. 
> 
> Forget :: Marina


	22. Mhen i'n Llawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My head is filled with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella na'r tywydd, ella na'r tes,  
> ella na'r gwin, ella na'r gwres,  
> ella na'r llanw ar y lli,  
> ond ma 'mhen i'n llawn ohona chdi.

**Azzy**

A few weeks have passed since the whole scene with Bee and Michael getting arrested. Things have calmed down and it was almost back to normal, if there ever was a normal. However, it wasn’t long enough for Bee to become visibly pregnant. Azzy felt a little bit weird taking glances at their abdomen, but he actually was excited to have a baby around. He loved children and he wanted one (or a few) with Anthony. He couldn’t wait to see how the baby would grow. 

“Angel,” Anthony spoke up, making him snap out of his trance. He looked up from the books he was studying from, to look at his boyfriend on the couch. 

“Yes, what is it, dear?” In these past weeks, he had been staying in Anthony’s room. Bee was staying with Gabriel during the pregnancy, not leaving much room for anyone else. They were sleeping in his bed and eating most of the food in the flat. Azzy didn’t mind though, he loved staying with Anthony.

“Are you almost done studying? I’d like to go on a walk with you.” He was turned around over the back of the couch, giving him puppy dog eyes.

Azzy gave him a pitiful smile. He couldn’t help but give in. Besides, his mind has been wandering and he probably needed a break. He closed his book. “Okay, sweetheart.”

Anthony’s face lit up, jumping off of the couch. “Come on, babe. Let’s go get lunch.”

Azzy stood up, going to grab his phone and his lover’s hand. Anthony knew how to make him happy: with food. They both made their way out and away from the expansive campus, strolling just a few blocks away. They stayed close to each other, fingers intertwined. He suddenly stopped when Anthony did.

He pointed to a small café-esque restaurant that wouldn’t look out of place on a Parisian street corner on a warm summer’s day. Roses grew from pots on either side of the large, glass doors and gold leaf painted the handles. From the inside an unmistakable smell drifted and filled the air of the Yorkshire streets; crepes.

“Oh, how lovely,” Azzy smiled, teeth shining. 

“You told me how you loved crepes, angel. You told me the story of the time you went to France and never tasted a crepe so good after so… I found an authentic French café. The owner is from just outside of Paris. Thought it maybe could compare.”

His face heated up. “Oh, Anthony! Oh, how thoughtful.”

His boyfriend smiled bashfully. “Please. It’s for you, my love, come on.” He dragged his lover inside. They let the waiter seat them and they sat at their small table, sharing pleasantries. They took their orders when ready and kept talking to each other afterwards. 

Azzy got lost in those resplendent, amber eyes. He fiddled with Anthony’s fingers, a smile never leaving his face. Soon he cleared his throat. 

“ _ Fy nghariad? _ ” he asked, making Anthony stand to attention. “Would you… Ever want to have kids? Me and you?”

His face softened. “Oh, dear. Of course I would. I’m dying to have a family with you.”

Tears welled up in Azzy’s eyes and a smile painted his face. “Oh, thank god. I love you so much, cariad.”

“I love you, too,” he mumbled, a smile drenching his face like sweet syrup. They went back to small talk up until their food came. 

Azzy reached in his pocket to fumble around for a few pounds, fingers running over the small velvet box he’s been keeping in there. His heart skipped a beat, his stomach dropping to the floor. Today would be a perfect day; a nice lunch, discussion about family, in Azzy’s (now) favorite restaurant. Everything was right. 

He gripped Anthony’s hand, making him jump. His red eyebrows threaded together in confusion. “What is it, babe?”

Azzy stood up, legs shaking. “Anthony, dear. There’s been a question on my mind for a while. A-and… And, uh, I would love it if you said yes.” He looked to the side, clearing his throat.  _ Come on, you twp! _

He got on one knee, taking out the box and popping it open. “Anthony, fy cariad, fy nghariad… Will you marry me?”

Anthony’s eyes widened, the yellow of them becoming clouded. He didn’t respond for a moment. He reached in his own back pocket. Azzy’s heart got ready to shatter. Only until he saw what Anthony had. A box, inside a gorgeous ring of gold. He gasped. 

“Wh- What?!”

“I’ll marry you if you’ll marry me,” Anthony’s voice came out broken. 

Azzy laughed, sparks lighting up in his chest. “Oh, dear! Of  _ course _ I’ll marry you!”

Anthony laughed in return, a tear running down his cheek. “And of course I’ll marry you!” 

And they both embraced as everyone in that quaint French café clapped.

* * *

**Bee**

“Come on, Bee. It’s good!”

Bee groaned, sighing. They held up the half of the pomegranate and picked a few bits of it, putting it in their mouth. They scowled at the sour taste, but continued eating just to get it over with. They had been sitting here for the past 20 minutes, arms folded like an insolent child, fighting against Gabriel’s pleas. 

“Why are you making me eat this? It’s disgusting.”

Gabriel sighed, shaking his head. “Pomegranates are good for you and the baby. You used to eat junk! After your concussion, eating right is going to help both of you.”

Bee just sighed, popping the pieces in their mouth. Nothing but disgust filled them as they ate. “Is this how you eat? It’s gross.”

Gabriel laughed softly, resting his chin on his palm. “I eat a lot more protein, but that’s because I exercise more.”

They groaned, throwing their head back and kicking their feet. “Oh my god, please don’t make me work out.”

“I’ll just make you walk. You probably shouldn’t work out hard.” His face contorted into a frown as their face scrunched up in disgust again. “Do you really hate it that much?”

Bee nodded. “Absolutely rubbish, pomegranates. Why can’t I just have fish and chips?”

“Grilled fish, but no french fries,” he said primly, watching them.

They groaned again. “Just say chips like a normal person.”

He just rolled his eyes, giving them a small smile. “Oh, hush. After this, we can take a walk and then grab some protein.”

“Why do you have to sit here and watch me?” they whined. Their skin crawled as they were under his constant surveillance. He was just an annoying prick who thought he knew best. He wasn’t even the one pregnant! They squirmed under his deep blue gaze. 

He folded his arms. “Because you’re the type to throw all of it away and claim you ate it,” he said, arching an eyebrow. 

Bee just grumbled to themself and continued eating until the half was empty. They squeezed it, throwing it across the room into the trash can. Their hands shot up in the air once it made it in. “Hell yeah!”

Gabriel flinched. “Don’t throw things!” he groaned, almost appalled. 

They scowled at him. “Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my daddy.”

“Yeah, but I’m your  _ baby  _ daddy.”

“You still don’t control me,” they huffed, crossing their arms. “I can keep the damn thing from you and you can never see it while you pay child support.”

He sighed, kneading at his bottom lip with his teeth. It almost made them feel bad. “You’re not going to do that.”

Bee frowned, swallowing. “Shut up,” they said quickly. “I can do what I want.”

Gabriel shook his head, sighing. “Go change into something. We’re going walking.”

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel strolled down a sidewalk, arm looped with Bee’s. He frowned, watching them drag their feet. He sighed to himself. “Come on, you can do this. It’s not that hot outside.”

“It’s absolutely roasting! Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Okay, fine.” He stopped, turning to them. “If you’re so hot then we can stop by and get something to eat. What do you want?”

“There’s a nice sushi restaurant around here,” Bee said, crossing their arms. “Or is that just too ‘high calorie’ for your fragile body.”

“ _ Your _ fragile body,” he corrected.

Their mouth dropped open, they were absolutely apalled. Their eyes raged with a fire. “Are you fucking kidding me?! I’m not fucking broken you fucking bag of wank, this-” they closed their eyes, stopping suddenly. They took a deep breath and counted to ten. They finally opened their eyes and looked up at him. “I know you’re just trying to help, but I’m not ‘fragile,’ okay?”

Gabriel nodded, looking down. “Right. I’m sorry,” he said softly. His jaw tensed before he looked back up at them. “Where’s the sushi place?”

Bee grabbed his hand, not responding to the apology. “Just follow me.” They grabbed his hand, dragging him a few blocks over. He followed after them, watching them lead the way. The situation gave him an odd feeling of deja vu.

Bee opened the door for him after walking in. Upon making his way inside, Gabriel admired the decor. It was slightly modern with accents of ancient Japanese art. He hummed in appreciation. 

Bee pulled him to a table, sitting down across from him. They picked up a menu, scanning over it. “Do you like sushi?”

Gabriel nodded. “I like it fine,” he said absentmindedly, looking at the menu. “Never really ate it much. I guess it makes sense that you eat it a lot.”

Their head snapped up, making Gabe look up. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Oh, well, you’re half, uh, Japanese? Right?” he said, worry tinging his voice. 

They looked offended; eyebrows threaded together, mouth drawn up in a scowl, nose scrunched in disgust. “Yeah and? You just assume since I’m Japanese I like sushi? What the fuck?  _ Angelov,  _ what, you like vodka or something?”

Gabriel’s face grew hot. He could feel the anger penetrating his skin. “Oh my god. Was that racist? I’m sorry, I-”

“Yes, it was racist! For fucks sake,” they stood up, looking like they were about to leave. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. He grabbed their wrist. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Please don’t leave, I’ll pay.” 

Bee pursed their lips, sitting back down again. “Whatever,” they mumbled, looking down at the table, resting their chin on their palms. 

They sat in silence for a moment. Heat engulfed Gabriel, making him tug on his shirt collar and sleeves. He wished he could just hide from the world. After a moment, the burning crawled away from his body. 

“Bulgarian,” he spoke up again. 

Bee looked up from their phone that they had started scrolling on. “What?”

“Angelov is Bulgarian,” Gabe said. He cleared his throat. “Not Russian.”

They sighed, quirking an eyebrow. “Okay? And? Did I offend you?”

He shook his head. “No… it’s okay.”

The waitress came over finally and took their orders, leaving them in silence again afterwards. Bee rested their chin on their palm, scrolling through their social media. Gabriel just kept quiet, watching them for a moment. Just for a moment. “Why are you on your phone?”

They looked up, threading their eyebrows together. “What?”

He just shrugged. “Why don’t we talk? We  _ are  _ out to supper.”

Bee snorted, sitting up. They dropped their phone on the table. “Are you serious? First of all, you hate me. I hate you. Talking will just end up in an argument. And second of all? Are you implying we’re on some sort of date? You’re proper bloody mad if you think that in the slightest.”

Gabriel huffed, ignoring the sting. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just think it’s impolite to be on your phone during supper. That’s all.” He shrugged. 

“Stop fucking saying ‘supper’, where the hell are you from?” They scrunched up their nose again.

“Virginia,” he deadpanned. “I could ask you the same thing with how you talk, but I don’t.” He crossed his arms. 

Bee gave him a massive eye roll. They probably emphasized it on purpose, so the whole restaurant could see. “Don’t fucking virtue signal me, are you fucking mad? Goddamn Christians thinking they’re better than everyone else, for fuck’s sake.” They threw their hands up.

Gabriel frowned, not knowing what the hell any of that was coming from. “I don’t think I’m better than everyone else. Do I… act that way?” He cocked his head. 

They shrugged, scowling. “Kind of. The way you were rude to me and treating me like I was stupid for my gender still pisses me off.”

He was silent for a moment, thinking back. The thing he said about them being raped, being murdered… It  _ was _ disgusting. What the hell was wrong with him. He inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry about that… I really am. I didn’t understand and I know that doesn’t excuse what I said, but… I’m sorry. You’re normal like everyone else.”

Bee might’ve let off a slight smile, but it was so slight, Gabriel’s eyes could’ve just been playing tricks on him. “Thanks for the apology,” they said. “But I don’t need your validation.”

Gabriel nodded quickly. “Oh, of course, right.” He looked down at his lap and they were quiet for the duration of their meal, up until he paid the bill. 

They walked back to the campus, still silent in the warm air under the setting English sun. That was until Gabriel broke it. 

“Where are you staying next year?” he asked randomly. 

They look up at him, confused. “Pardon?”

“The year is almost over, where are you staying after it is?” He looked down at them, wetting his lips. Their skin reflected a golden pink in the sweet sunlight. 

They shrugged. “Maybe with my family. Maybe with Anthony and Azzy. Don’t know yet. Why?”

“Would you like to stay with me?” he asked, swallowing. “I mean I want to help you with the pregnancy and I want to be there when the baby is born.”

Bee sighed, looking to the side for a moment. “I don’t see why not.”

A smile lit up on his face. He didn’t expect that from them. “Oh, really? Awesome, my dad still has a house around here that we can stay in.”

“Can we get a cat?” they asked suddenly, pulling on his hand.

He looked at them weirdly. “A what?” 

“A cat,” they said, puffing out their bottom lip. “I want a black cat so bad.”

“Well, uh,” he began. “Let’s focus on having a baby first.”

They let out a giggle, making Gabriel’s chest flutter. They leant on him, all the way home. He put an arm around them, trying to hide a smile on his face. They were pretty cute when they weren’t trying to be.

Bee stood up straight when they made it to his door. He grabbed his keys, letting them inside. He knew they would stay the night. It was an unspoken rule at this point. 

Gabe sat on the couch, letting out a deep breath. His jaw unclenched, his shoulders loosened, and when Bee sat next to him, he put his arm around them. He closed his eyes and almost drifted off to sleep. 

“I’m sorry for being rude earlier,” they said. 

He pried his eyes open, speaking drowsily. “Huh?”

“I was rude to you today. I’m sorry.” They looked him directly in the eyes, resting a hand on his chest. “You’re trying and I’m trying. We should both acknowledge that more.”

Gabriel grabbed their hand, smiling softly. “It’s fine, Bumble Bee. I’m sorry for my racist comment. There’s no excuse for that.”

They laughed softly. “There’s really not. You’re so stupid,” they insulted him, yet somehow, it didn’t hurt him. He just smiled at them, admiring the crinkle of their eyes, the little snort of their giggle. Somehow knowing in his heart that they forgave him was enough. He watched their smile soften down back into their resting face. 

Bee started to move closer to him, making his heart rate accelerate. Their face grew closer to his until the two of them were nose to nose. They sat for a moment, listening to each other’s breathing. That’s when Gabriel took it upon himself to close the gap and kiss them. 

Bee grabbed his face quickly, kissing back. Their skin against his sent shockwaves down his spine. Their lips tasted like a delicacy he’s never eaten, yet was so familiar on his tongue. He felt a large smile grow on their face, him smiling in return. 

After a few seconds of kissing, Bee finally pulled away, rubbing their thumb over his cheek. They looked each other deep in the eyes, Bee’s the color of chilled ocean water. They licked their lips. “I think we should get to bed.”

Gabriel’s hands fell to their waist, still a little bit dazed. “Alright, Honeybee.”

* * *

**Anthony**

After walking Azzy to his morning classes, Anthony made his way back to his room. He had spent quite a  _ lovely _ night with his new fianceé after they both proposed. Anthony had a new spring in his step now. Being close to marrying the love of your life does that to a person. He grabbed his keys to find the door already unlocked. He peeked his head in to see Bee. He instantly smiled. He walked in, closing the door behind him.

“Hey, bitch,” he said in a sing-songy voice. He threw himself on the couch next to them. “Where have you been?”

“You know exactly where the hell I’ve been,” they laughed. “I’ve been with Gabriel, but he has morning classes today so I decided not to stay.”

“Oh yeah?” he smiled. “Wanna go get breakfast or will your baby daddy freak out if you eat anything wrong?”

They frowned slightly, crossing their arms. “Anthony, he’s just worried for us.” They ran a hand over their abdomen after saying ‘us’. “He’s just trying to help.”

Anthony’s eyebrow arched up. “You’ve really changed your tune.”

Bee looked contemplative for a moment, eyes shifting. Almost as if they wanted to say something. “Well…” they said quietly.

He leaned forward, a smile growing on his face. “Well? Well what?”

“We kissed,” they mumbled, pointing their eyes downwards. They crossed their arms, turning completely red. They were behaving in a completely un-Bee-like manner. Gabriel had broken them. 

Anthony’s eyes widened, laughing softly. “You’re kidding!”

“I’m not!” they said bashfully. “We kissed then we slept in the same bed.” They admitted, holding back a smile by biting their bottom lip.

His eyebrows perked up in interest. “Oh my god!” he squealed. “What was the kiss like? Was it like… face-sucking desperation?” He smirked like a bastard.

They hid their face.. “No! It was, uh, well, uh… Gentle? He put his hand on my waist and I grabbed his face and… We didn’t snog, but we sat there for a moment.”

“Did you sleep well in his arms?” he teased. “Did you cuddle?”

They huffed, crossing their arms. “Yeah, we did, for your information.”

“That’s so cute!” he laughed, fanning his hands. His fingers fidgeted with the new ring. Happiness burst inside him once again. “Oh, guess what Azzy did yesterday?”

“What?” they cocked their head. 

Anthony held up his hand, showing off his golden ring. “He proposed!”

Bee gasped, covering their mouth. “Oh my god! Are you serious?”

Anthony smiled proudly. “Deadly. I’m becoming a married man.”

“Oh my god!” Bee said again, eyes almost becoming dewy. “Congrats! I can’t wait to go to your wedding. Can I be your best…” they thought for a second. “Bastard?”

Anthony laughed, throwing his head back. “Totally. And I can be your best bastard at your wedding too,” he teased. 

Bee rolled their eyes playfully. “Please.” They rested their head on the back of the couch. “I’m not thinking about marrying him just yet. This baby will be just fine with unmarried parents. I had unmarried parents and I…” they trailed off. “Never mind, bad example. Let’s go get breakfast.”

Anthony got up, offering them a hand. “Allons-y.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a little late, I'm just a tad behind schedule. But I hope y'all are doing okay! Please leave a comment, some kudos, and a bookmark! <3
> 
> And yes, I made Bee half Japanese. Why? I have no clue.
> 
> Mhen i'n Llawn :: Gwyneth Glyn


	23. Chapter 18.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ella na'r tywydd, ella na'r tes,  
> ella na'r gwin, ella na'r gwres,  
> ella na'r llanw ar y lli,  
> ond ma 'mhen i'n llawn ohona chdi.
> 
> Dwi'n codi ceuad da-da o ganol y baw,  
> a ma llythyren gynta dy enw yn fy llaw.  
> Dwi'n clwad alaw gron fel cacan gri,  
> a ma 'mhen i'n llawn ohona chdi.
> 
> Yng nglesni'r aeron, yng ngwyn yr ŵy,  
> yn aur y siwgwr man yn llachar ar y llwy,  
> ac yn y duwch ar ddiwadd DVD,  
> o ma 'mhen i'n llawn ohona chdi.
> 
> Ma 'mhen i'n llawn ohona chdi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE NOTES AT THE END!
> 
> This chapter was inspired by Gwyneth Glyn's poem/song, Mhen i'n Llawn. It's a parody of sorts of the English translation to fit Michael's narrative of being a lovesick gay.

**Michael**

_ It might be the her eyes, it might be the her smooth skin, _

_ it might be the kisses, it might be the sex, _

_ it might be the way she looks at me, _

_ but my head is filled with her. _

_ I put a kiss on her sweet lips, _

_ and the first letter of her name is in my palm. _

_ I hear a gentle voice like a breeze _

_ and my head is filled with her. _

_ In the beating of our hearts, in the moments we share, _

_ in the gold of the sugar that sparkles on her lips, _

_ and in the darkness at the end of a long night, _

_ oh my head is filled with her.  _

_ My head is filled with her. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was something for just real quick, because I will be probably taking a break for a hot moment. I've been burnt out recently and I just need some time to recharge and refocus my mind. I hope y'all understand. I should be back next week with an actual chapter lol. Have a good day, y'all.


	24. Pulling Me Under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is Bee's demon in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you gonna?  
> Are you gonna be mine?

**Azzy**

“They’re what?!”

“Shhhhh! Lower your voice,” Anthony hushed his lover. They were sitting in a small restaurant that was only good for some tea and a sarnie. “But… Yeah, I think Gabe and Bee are a thing now.”

Azzy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Last time he had seen the two, they were at each other’s throats constantly. He was even worried Bee would slash Gabriel’s tires. “They’re together… Like, romantically?”

Anthony nodded quickly. “Bee told me that they kissed him and that was… Just that.”

Azzy scoffed, covering his mouth. He couldn’t help but smile slightly. “Oh my god. That’s precious.” 

He nodded again, radiating a smirk. “That’s what I said. Bee said they cuddled together that night and everything.”

“Well, I’m glad. Hopefully that baby will have parents who get along,” he said. 

The two sat in the small lunch place. It was small and not very fancy, but there were only there to have a simple date- if one could even call it that. Anthony then decided to gossip and Azzy, who swears up and down that he doesn't do that sort of thing, gets sucked in to what his lover is saying. 

However, he’s very glad that they’re starting to get along. Maybe the baby will have a functional homelife after all. Living with parents who want to skin each other alive can’t be good for someone’s mental health. He wanted the best for that child, even if it meant he had to take care of it himself. 

“Anthony?”

Anthony’s eyebrow piqued in attention. He looked up from his coffee.

“Do you think Bee and Gabriel will be good parents?”

Anthony sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Oh, fuck. I’ve been worrying about that. I don’t know… I told Bee at one point I’d help them with the child, but… I don’t know. I don’t know if I’d be a good dad, either. I mean, Gabriel and me? We’re both 19. This is just a shitshow, Angel. We’re all trying our best right now, I think.”

Azzy nodded, playing with the straw in his own drink. “I know. I love you, Anthony.”

“I love you, too, Angel Cake.”

* * *

**Bee**

Bee inhaled then exhaled nervously. They laid back in the chair with their stomach exposed by their hitched up shirt. Anxiety coursed through them, running in a lead string down from their throat. Gabriel and a doctor sat on each side of them. 

After their fight with Michael, an ultrasound was scheduled immediately. Even a minor concussion could result in death to them or their baby. It was crushing, living on for weeks and waiting to know if their baby was okay. Though, now they were right there, just about to find out, and they thought it might be a better idea to keep their head in the sand. 

“The gel might be a little cold,” the doctor said. She squirted some on and pressed the wand to Bee’s stomach. They shuddered at the chill, sending goosebumps across their skin. They could feel Gabriel’s hand squeeze theirs and a spike rose in their heart. 

There was a tense moment of silence. The pressure in the room crushed them like a can of coke.

“No apparent signs of damage to the fetus yet.”

They both let out a sigh of relief, the pressure letting up. 

“Can you tell the uh, sex, yet?” Gabriel asked, obviously thinking about the word before he said it. Bee had chewed him out on the difference between gender and sex before. He said something about how he couldn’t wait to find out the gender. They lectured him about how he wants to know the  _ sex  _ of the baby and they can’t possibly know the  _ gender  _ until the child is at least four years old. They smiled just slightly at him. 

“No, not quite,” she said. “You’re only about 8 weeks along, we won’t be able to tell until about 12 weeks.” 

Bee nodded. “Uh, will my- uh, our baby live? Through the entire pregnancy?”

The doctor leant back in her seat. “Well, starting out, you were a low-risk pregnancy. You are healthy and sexually and physically mature. When you a got concussion, your pregnancy became high-risk. I suggest taking very good care of your body and avoid getting hurt at all costs. Even just a small bump on the head can do a lot.” 

Bee bit their lip and nodded. “Thank you.”

Gabriel kissed their temple, making them heat up slightly. “I told you so,” he said playfully.

Bee shushed him, giving him a playful nudge. “Fuck off, you absolute bucket of wank.”

“You’re cute when you cuss like that.” He quirked an eyebrow challengingly. 

Bee huffed and ignored him, turning back to the doctor. “Thank you. Is there anything else we need to know?”

“Stay away from places where people smoke, even if they aren’t there at the moment; thirdhand smoke is a thing. Avoid caffeine, and that includes chocolate. Avoid canned fish, even a little mercury can hurt the fetal health. This is also a bit early, but if you’re planning on breastfeeding, staying away from caffeine and canned fish then is also a good idea.”

Bee nodded, letting out a sigh. “Thank you so much.”

Gabriel nodded, too. “Yes. It’s very helpful.”

After their appointment, Gabriel helped Bee into his car (even though they insisted that they weren’t  _ that  _ pregnant and could get in a car by themself). As soon as they got in, Gabriel drove to a drive through to get something to eat and they went back to the hall.

Bee went into Gabe’s room with him and sat on the couch as he dropped his keys on the table. They laid back, rubbing their abdomen, watching him take out their food. A sharp feeling of realization hit them. 

“We’re having a baby, Gabriel,” they said, voice cracking. 

Gabe looked back at them and he smiled. “Yeah…” He leant back and cupped their face. “Can I kiss you?”

Bee nodded and their lips collided. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel blushed as he kissed Bee just so. Their chin rested in his hand and his in theirs. He relished in the softness of their lips and the warm, sweet flavor of their lipgloss. They supported his own when he kissed them more passionately. Their mouths became more open as time went on. He ran a hand up their body, silently admiring their slight curves. 

Bee grabbed his hand as it reached their ribcage, making him pull away suddenly. His puzzled gaze met theirs. They scowled at him, eyes piercing. 

“You touch my tit and I’ll slap you so hard, your eyeballs will switch places. Understand me?”

Gabriel’s eyes widened and he held up his hands. He grew hot and itchy under his shirt. “Yeah, for sure. Sorry, yeah.” He was red now. “How about we just eat.”

“You’d like that, huh, you filthy bastard?”

He froze for a second. Then he cleared his throat, turning around. “I wasn’t trying to grope at you-!”

“I’m just playing with you, idiot,” they laughed, making him relax some.

He sighed, shaking his head. He handed them their own food while starting to eat his own. “Here you go. I hate you.”

They laughed, taking it. “I hate you, too.” They kissed his cheek, somehow making him even redder. “Do you wanna watch anything on the telly? Killing Eve is on tonight.”

“What is on?” He made a face, looking back at them

“Killing Eve? Please tell me you’ve heard of Killing Eve,” they begged him.

Gabriel shook his head.

“Bloody hell!” they gasped in utter disbelief. “You’ve lived in the UK for how long? Jesus H. fucking Christ.”

Gabe laughed, watching them grab the remote. He watched it for a moment after it came on. He leant back, wrapping an arm around their shoulders. He sat and watched TV with them all night.

* * *

**Anthony**

“Anthony.”

“Hm?” he looked up at Bee. It was a cold morning and they decided to come over since Gabriel and Azzy both had morning classes again. Anthony wanted to hang out with them, anyways. Ever since they’ve been staying with Gabriel, he missed them. 

“I was wondering if you and Azzy are interested in a double date thing with Gabe and me.”

Anthony choked on the coffee seated comfortably in his hands, those words hitting him like a bloody lorry. “So are you and Gabe dating? Officially?”

Bee shrugged, blushing slightly. “I mean, I don’t know. We kiss a lot more now. And we’ve been on dates…”

Anthony laughed. “You’re dating, stupid. I wouldn’t mind going with you guys somewhere. I’m sure Azzy won’t either.” They’ve been growing a lot more bashful since dating Gabriel. Odd, considering they would usually proudly announce whomever they’ve shagged the night before, walking in like they were discussing the weather.

Bee laughed softly. “Thank you… He’s really not that bad of a guy when you get to know him. Or maybe I keep him in his place.” They laughed again, taking a sip of their tea. 

Anthony shook his head. “No, I’m sure you two rub off on each other in a good way.” He smirked. “Have you fucked him yet?”

They scoffed, blushing. They crossed their arms. They acted as if they would never share those details about their life. “No! I think he tried to grab at me last night, though. I told him off.”

Anthony’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh yeah?”

“He said he wasn’t but we were snogging ourselves silly, so I don’t know.” They shrugged bashfully. 

He scoffed, feeling a hint of anger. “If he touches you, you know I will kill him.” 

“And you know I can defend myself,” they laughed. “No, but seriously, I don’t think he meant it. I don’t really mind the idea of fucking him.”

He laughed in response. “Slut.”

“Gay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a wait, babes! Just busy! Leave kudos, a comment, and a bookmark! xxx
> 
> Shark :: Oh Wonder


	25. La Dolce Vita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love may not be a cruel thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm your carnal flower, I'm your bloody rose  
> Pick my petals off and make my heart explode  
> I'm your deadly nightshade, I'm your cherry tree  
> You're my one true love, I'm your destiny

**Azzy**

Azzy straightened out his bowtie, combing back his light hair. He smiled in his mirror, deciding he looked just right. He turned to his lover, Anthony. “Are you ready dear?” he asked, taking his hand. 

Azzy was excited for this. This was their first proper date since their proposals and he wanted to see how Bee and Gabe got along. He was surprised to hear that they wanted to go on one, but it made him smile. Whatever the couple was doing to further better themselves and the life of the child was a good thing in his eyes.

Anthony placed his hat on his head, taking his hand. He gave him a smile. “I’m ready, darling.”

Azzy held his fiancé’s hand, following him out. The night held an oppressive darkness, just streetlights and stars lighting their way. The humidity wrapped around him forcefully, showing the signs of newly spring night. They made their way over and sat in the car, making some small talk.

Anthony laid back on his chair, letting out a long sigh. He rested his hand on his face. 

Azzy frowned, pushing some hair back from his eyes and tucking it under the hat. “What’s wrong dear?”

“I’ve been craving a faggy,” he mumbled.

He grabbed his hand. “I’ll sit with you while you smoke one later tonight, okay?”

Anthony just nodded.

Azzy looked out his window. “Why? Are you stressed?”

“Tad bit, I suppose.”

Azzy nodded, placing his hand on the glass, feeling the warm night. He could hear some crickets chirping in the night. He smiled softly. The springtime always made him happy. The flowers would bloom and it was a perfect time to sit down and just have a picnic and read. One with his dear Anthony would be especially lovely.

“Are they coming?” he asked quietly.

“I texted Bee.”

Azzy looked over at him, admiring his features. The strong jawline and sharp cheekbones that structured his face made him more handsome than other men he had seen. He leant in and kissed him, smiling. He placed a hand under Anthony’s chin before pulling away. “Tonight is very nice. You look handsome, my dear.”

Anthony blushed, looking away. “You look handsome as well. I love you.”

Azzy leant forward again and kissed his cheek. “Aw, I love you, too. You make me very, very happy.”

“And you make me blush, love. I can’t wait to be married to such a wonderful man.” He looked back at him, looking at him with his gorgeous, shimmering eyes. 

Azzy leant in and kissed him again, cupping his face. He buried his hands in that soft hair, bringing him as close as he could. They smiled against each other’s lips before Anthony pulled away. Bee and Gabriel were here now.

After a bit of small talk, they drove away, Azzy holding his lover’s hand. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee smiled as they saw Gabriel emerge from the bathroom, cleaned up. He wore a button up shirt, hair combed back, lips turned down in a scowl.

They tilted their head, reaching out to touch his arm. “You look lovely. Don’t be such a cunt.”

Gabriel became sour as soon as he found out about the double date. He found the prospect stupid and embarrassing. He hasn’t been very open about his relationship with Bee and they knew it. They just wanted to stop hiding with him, flitting about like kiddies with a crush. They were tired of something that couldn’t stay. No fling with Dai or threesome with Hastur could make them happy anymore. Besides, they’re pregnant and in need of something keeping them afloat.

He put a hand to Bee’s hip, giving them a small kiss. “You know I think this is stupid.”

Bee shook their head, wiping some of their dark lipstick off his lips. They scowled a bit, he knew not to kiss them before their makeup dried. “Just do this for me, please?”

Gabriel smiled at them warmly, holding their hand. “If you really want it,” he said. 

Bee pat his face, giving him a smile back. “Good boy. Come on, Anthony texted me and he’s waiting.”

They made their way to the door when Gabriel’s voice stopped them. The clicking of their heels stopped suddenly. 

“Are you sure you want to wear that?” his judgemental voice hit them

The ‘ _ that _ ’ in question was their dress. The dress was a silky black with red lace, squeezing their curves and barely going past their bum. They turned around, giving him a look by pressing their lips together and raising their eyebrows. 

Gabriel bit his lip and shook his head. “Right- You can wear what you want, sorry.”

They smiled. “And?”

“If someone wants to ogle, that’s their fault, not yours,” he said. “I remember. Sorry.”

“Good! Now, come on.” They extended their hand and he took it, dragging him out to Anthony’s car. They both got in the back, greeted by the delighted words of the other couple.

“You look smackin’, Bee.” Anthony smiled, looking back at them in his rear-view mirror. 

They giggled, twirling their hair playfully. “Thanks, babe. Let’s go. I’m fuckin’ starving.” 

Anthony started driving away, turning up his music. He sang loudly, looking over at Azzy. A smile plastered his face. “Come on, baby. Sing with me.”

“You like classic rock?” Gabe asked. 

Anthony laughed. “Bee, honey, you gotta train your boyfriend to be smarter.”

Gabriel gasped, looking at them, expecting them to be offended as well. Bee just smirked. “You heard him. Get smarter, baby.”

He put his arm around them, shaking his head. They kissed him leisurely, grinning like a fool. He was so handsome, with his square-ass jaw and broad shoulders. They leant against him until they made it to the restaurant.

As soon as both couples got there, they got out. Gabriel opened the door for Bee and helped them. They didn’t let go of his hand as they walked up the stone pathway. 

The restaurant was quite posh, with plants sitting outside the large glass doors and lights lining the entrance and steps. Gabriel went ahead and held the door open for Bee, giving them a smile. They smiled back, walking in.

“Not going to give me a thank you?” he said to them jokingly.

They turned around. “I’ll thank you later tonight.”

His eyes widened and he looked back at Anthony and Azzy, making sure they didn’t hear them. Redness climbed from up his neck.

“They didn’t,” Bee said quickly, tugging on his hand. “Let’s go, we have a reservation.”

Anthony walked up to the hostess before Bee could, Azzy on his arm. He asked for the reservation and they were led to their table. 

Gabe pulled out a chair, letting Bee sit down. He sat next to them. “You look very lovely tonight,” he said, kissing their hand. 

“Really?” they scoffed. “Because earlier you said I looked like a slut.”

Anthony’s head shot up and Azzy looked over at him, shocked. 

“I didn’t!” he said. “I just said it was short.”

Bee laughed, patting his face. “It’s fine, baby. I’m just playing. It’s my job to be hard on him, Anthony. Not yours.”

Anthony laughed, shaking his head. He took off his hat, placing it beside him. “Oh, shut up.”

Bee leant against Gabriel. They looked up at him. “What do you want to eat, baby?”

“I don’t know. We’ll have to see, won’t we?” He pecked their lips.

They laughed. “I guess we will.”

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabe pulled Bee to his bedroom, connected to them by the mouth. After the date, the two of them had a good time grabbing at each other in the car. The sexual tension crackled between them and they couldn’t wait to shag each other silly.

Bee unsteadily unbuttoned his shirt, soon giving up and just pulling it from over his head. They pushed him down on the bed, reaching behind their back and unzipping their dress. They dropped it, letting it pool around their ankles. 

His breath caught in his throat, watching them. They were beautiful. Their underwear hung on their hips, their bra held up their small breasts, and their body curved under smooth skin, moving and glowing beautifully under the moonlight. He could see some tattoos painting their skin like it was a canvas.

However, Bee didn’t give Gabe much time to admire. They straddled him at the knees, pulling his pants off and throwing them to the floor. They ground their hips down onto his, letting out soft moans. 

Gabe grabbed their hips, grinding up back as they threw their jewelry off. They let out obscenities like ‘ _ fuck me, Gabriel’  _ and ‘ _ hell yeah, Gabe, you’re making me so wet’ _ . He felt himself harden, reaching up and undoing their bra. 

Bee smirked, letting it slide down their skinny arms. They tossed it on the floor, groping at themself. They knew how to put on a show. Gabriel couldn’t help but grab their breast, squeezing it in his hand. He felt their soft, pink nipple harden under his hand.

Gabe bit his lip, hand ducking between their thighs. He ran a finger experimentally over the lace of their underwear. It was soaking. He gave them a smirk and grabbed their cunt, pressing his palm into the wetness. 

Bee put their hands on either side of his head, grinding into his hand. “Fuck-” they moaned out. “Get your fucking fingers in me.”

Gabriel felt arousal spike inside him at the request. His stomach tightened at the idea. He pulled their underwear down around their knees, plunging his fingers into the soft, wet heat of Bee’s cunt. 

They immediately moaned, bouncing slightly. “Oh, fuck, play with my clit- Gabriel-”

Gabriel pressed his finger to the hardened nub peeking out from their folds, rubbing it slightly. That made more moans come from them in an arousing slew. 

Confidence built in him and smiled. They sounded so beautiful… And how their head threw back, how their thighs jiggled with the slight bouncing they did on his fingers, or how their breasts moved with them. How their skin glowed milky in the moonlight or their wiry black hair rubbed against his palm. It was the most wonderful thing he’s ever seen. He was painfully hard in his underwear. 

“You like that?” Gabriel finally said something. “You’re so… Oh, you’re just beautiful.”

Bee looked down at him, smiling in a mix of gentleness and cockiness. They pulled themself from his fingers. “You’re probably aching for me,” they purred, grabbing his cock through his underwear. “Absolutely hard as a rock, aren’t you?”

Gabe grit his teeth, trying to hold back his moan. A blush covered his face. “Bee…” he said aimlessly.

“What?” they said, leaning against him. They mumbled in his ear. “Want my cunny around you?”

He nodded hurriedly, running his hands up their bare back. “Please, I need it. I need it bad-”

Bee pulled his underwear off, licking their lips at his hard cock finally set free. He could tell they didn’t want to wait any longer to get their hands on him. They rubbed his precum around on his shaft, kissing from the bright red head down to his base.

Gabriel squirmed, letting out more flustered moans. “BeeBeeBeeBeeBee-” he whined in rapid succession.

They looked up, smiling wickedly. “Yes, baby?”

“Please give it to me, please-” he whined, bucking his hips up from the bed. 

They bit their lip. “Tell me what you want, dear. Use your words.”

“I want you…” he mumbled. “Around me. I want you to sit on my cock and ride me. Please.”

“Good boy,” they purred, getting on their knees and hovering over him. “It’s so cute to see you so excited to take my cunt. You plan to cum in me?”

Gabriel whined, bucking his hips up again. “I don’t know, I just want to fuck you, please.”

Bee gave him a stifled smirk, grabbing the base of his cock and sinking down on him. They bit their lip, smiling to themself. “Yeah-” they mumbled as they sunk further. 

Gabe’s head threw back, eyes fluttering shut. “Oh- Oh, wow-”

Bee laughed softly, making him open his eyes. Anxiety ran through him for a split moment. Had he done something wrong? “What? Is everything okay?”

They ran their hands over the vast expansion of his muscled chest. “Oh, you’re just so precious. Is this your first pussy sober?”

He blushed, biting his lip. “Yeah, uh, it is.”

They kissed him, leaning forward over him. He wrapped his arms around them, running his fingers through their hair. He smiled on their warm skin against his own. Something about the feeling was close to ethereal. They pulled away, grinning.

“I guess this isn’t your first time?” he said sheepishly.

Bee laughed. “Oh, honey, I’m a whore.”

Gabe frowned and grabbed their ribcage, right under their breasts. “Don’t say that, baby. Please.”

They rested their palm on his cheek, smile wide. “I’m not now that I have you.” They started moving up and down on him then, closing their eyes. 

Gabe let out an awkward noise, a mix between a moan and a surprised gasp. He moved his hands around as they bounced, from their hips to their thighs, and finally to just grasping the bed sheets as he desperately tried to take in the feeling of Bee’s soft, warm, slick cunt moving up and down on him. 

He opened his eyes when Bee stopped bouncing for a moment and took his hand. They guided it to between their thighs, having him press his finger against their clit.

Gabe started rubbing it with his thumb as they bounced more, getting faster. His effort to keep his moans in grew futile as he let them out finally.

“Bee,” he groaned. “Oh- Oh, yeah- Oh,  _ fuck!” _

They leant over him more, sliding up and down on him. “It feels sssso fucking good, huh?” they said in his ear, slurring their words. They bit at his neck, sucking and kissing as they fucked themself on him and against his fingers. Their mouth movements left a pretty purple point in his skin.

Gabriel gained the confidence to grip their hips and turn them both over, so that he was on top. They let out a surprised gasp then looked up at him, smiling.

“Cheeky bastard! Wanna take control now, do you?”

He smiled at them, watching their pink nipples point upwards and their sweet breasts bounce. He saw some dark writing under one of them. He made a quick note to ask about it afterwards. Right now, all he wanted to do was fuck Bee.

“I couldn’t help but want to see you under me,” he whispered in their ear before moving inside them. He thrusted hips quickly back and forth, hearing the headboard bang against the wall. Bee’s moans rang beautifully as he slammed into them.

Gabe recognized the coiling feeling in his stomach as his legs grew weak. He knew it from his late-night masturbation sessions. He was going to cum. 

He increased his speed, pounding into Bee, balls deep, making them border on yelling. However, that was short-lived as he came inside them, hand buried deep in their hair. He moaned huskily into their ear, kissing their neck. “Bee, holy fucking shit-”

They had a bastard smirk on their face, holding his head. “Watch your profanity, little Christian boy. Don’t wanna hurt God’s feelings, do you?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Shut up,” he breathed out, gasping for breath. 

“Yeah, put that mouth to work. I still need to cum, baby.”

He licked his lips, pulling out of them, making them let out a tiny moan. He made his way between their legs, seeing the cum slide from them. They were so beautiful. Gabe leant forward and licked their clit roughly, sucking on it. He could feel their curls against his face and he smiled at their lovely, delighted moans. He wanted to say something but didn’t want to pull his mouth away. 

He lapped at them until they came on him, smiling. They grabbed his hair, grinding down on his face. 

“Oh,” they panted. “Oh holy fuck, baby-”

Gabe pulled away and laid beside them, smiling. He wiped his face.“That was wonderful,” he mused.

Bee nodded. “Pretty damn great.” They closed their eyes, sighing. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

He looked over at them, seeing the writing under their breast again. In the stillness he could tell it was a tattoo. He squinted against the dark to look at it. “What does that say?” he asked, reaching out to touch it.

Bee went white, turning over so their back faced him. “It’s nothing,” they said quickly.

He frowned. “Obviously not,” he decided to press further. “What is it?”

They shook their head, swallowing. “Just a boy. Don’t like him no more. It didn’t last.” They laughed almost sadly. “Obviously.”

Gabe wrapped his arms around them, pulling them closer. “I’m sorry, Honey Bee.”

They rested their head back on his chest, holding his arms against their chest. “It’s fine, baby. Not really much I can do about it now. Nor you. He’s just kind of a memory.”

“What’s his name?”

“Goodnight, Gabriel.”

He sighed. “Goodnight, babe.”

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony leant forward on his knees on the front steps of the hall’s entrance. It was about midnight and he was smoking a cigarette. He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh along with the smoke from his mouth. It swirled up in gray clouds, becoming an argentate color under the shining moon. The area around them smelt of drifting fag smoke. 

“Anthony?”

He opened his eyes, looking over at his beaming lover. His smile was gorgeous, his soft face and hair framing such beautiful eyes and lips. He was like a god among men. Anthony was the luckiest man alive.

“Yes, baby?”

“I just… Am happy for them. Gabe and Bee, I mean. They’ve come so far. I think they’re starting to be happy now.” Azzy looked down at his hands. 

Anthony nodded, a smoky smile drifting up. “Yeah, Bee seems… I don’t know, kind of crazy about him now. Usually they come in, announcing whoever they shagged like it’s a bloody accomplishment. Now they’re all blushy.” 

“They’re in love.”

Anthony arched his eyebrow. “Don’t let them hear you say that. They won’t say it until they’re five times past sure they’re in love. You know they don’t like being vulnerable.”

Azzy shook his head. “Excuse my language, but that’s just  _ cach oen!  _ They are very lovely. I wish they knew that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Anthony shrugged. “Oh, of course there is.”

Azzy looked at him weirdly.

“Oh, come on angel, you know. There’s cheats and deadbeats and people who will exploit you. It’s just reality.”

Aziraphale sighed. “Yeah, I suppose. I just wish they wouldn’t be as closed off, though.”

“I think everyone who knows them wishes. that” Anthony sat up, leaning in and kissing him. “I love you, dear.”

“I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a bookmark, comment, some kudos!!! I love hearing from yall!!!! xxx
> 
> Froot :: Marina and the Diamonds


	26. Retrospect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are some things better left unsaid?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cut from devotion  
> Lost in an ocean  
> Out of emotion for you

**Azzy**

Azzy was having tea, filled to the brim with citrus. It was the only way he could get himself energized for the day without coffee. With Bee being pregnant and not being able to have any, he didn’t want them to walk in and smell the alluring and earthy scent just taunting them. He sat down on Anthony’s couch, handing him a cup as well.

“Did you sleep well, dear?” he asked over the brim. His lips curled up from the sweet and sour flavor. 

Anthony hummed as he took a sip. “Quite. I’m assuming you did as well. With you snoring like you were cutting grass?” He gave a bastard smile. 

Azzy shook his head, blushing slightly. “I slept well. Especially with you,” he purred. 

Anthony blushed back, pecking his lips. “I love you,” he said, resting his head on his shoulder. 

Azzy kissed his forehead, the smile on his face widening. His head shot up when the door opened. It was Bee. He waved at them. “Good morning, I made some tea,” he offered. 

“Morning,” they mumbled, smiling to themself. They made their way back to the kitchen, pouring themself a mug. “Thank you. And morning to you, too, Anthony.”

Anthony looked up at them, face defensive and mouth open to say something. He quickly closed it, glancing at Azzy then back at Bee. “Ooo! Is that Gabriel’s sweatshirt?”

Bee scoffed, going to sit on the couch with a mug in their hand. “Yeah, and? He’s my boyfriend. I can’t wear his clothes?” They settled in next to him, folding their legs up.

He shook his head. “Not saying that at all. I’m just saying that you don’t usually do that. You’re also pretty cheery this morning.” He wriggled his eyebrows, smirking at them.

“Anthony, don’t pry-” Azzy tried to say, but Bee cut him off.

“Fine, we shagged. Yes, it was good. Yes, it was kind of awkward the next morning.”

Azzy’s eyes widened, he didn’t know what to say. His first time with Anthony wasn’t very awkward at all. “Oh- Oh, I’m sorry.”

Bee rolled their eyes, tapping their nails against the ceramic. “Please, it’s normal. Dealt with it before. It’s okay. We’re still happy.”

Azzy gave a pleasant smile. He set his empty mug on the table and looked at his watch. “I have to go,” he said before getting up and putting his cup in the sink. “Class.”

Anthony put his hand up, making him lean down for a kiss. 

“I love you,” he said. “Stay safe, both of you.”

“I love you, too.”

Azzy smiled at them and left. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee woke up, sun shining in their eyes through the open blinds. Their blue eyes pried open and they looked around, reaching out to find that the other side of the bed was empty. They frowned and got up. 

They let out a shudder at the cold wood floor under their feet. They went to the closet, just throwing on some knickers and one of his jumpers. They rolled up the sleeves and walked into the living area, where the smell of food drifted around. 

Bee rubbed their eyes, watching a shirtless Gabriel cook something on the small stove. A smile grew on their face and they walked up behind him, wrapping their arms around his waist and pulling him closer. They got on their tiptoes to rest their head on his shoulder. “What are you cooking?”

“Just some eggs and toast,” he said, turning his head to kiss theirs. “You want some, right?”

“Of course I want some, idiot,” they giggled. “I’m starving.”

Gabe craned his neck to look at them. “Well, go sit down. I don’t want you on your feet that much.”

Bee groaned and went to sit on the couch. “What happened to ‘you should be walking’?”

“You should,” he said. “Just don’t want you standing around, though. I don’t want you to get swollen ankles.”

They rolled their eyes hard enough to see stars. “You can’t even really see my baby bump, yet. Why are you so concerned?”

“I care about you, sweetie. I want you to be happy during the pregnancy.”

“There’s no way I’ll be happy,” they laughed. “No fucking way.

Gabriel frowned, walking in with the food. “Okay, well happier. Is that better?” He asked, handing them some.

Bee took it and started eating slowly as Gabe sat next to them. They picked at the fruit and eggs. “What the fuck is in this?”

He looked up. “In the eggs? Bell peppers.”

They scrunched up their nose and sighed. “I still can’t believe you live like this.”

“Come on, sweetheart,” he said, nudging them. “You’re eating for two.”

They groaned and rolled their eyes. “Oh my god, fuck off. I hate it when people say that.”

“Well you are!” Gabe argued. “Our baby needs you to eat, too. Your diet will reflect how our little one will be born.”

Bee scoffed and just ate quietly. There was silence as the both of them just finished their breakfast. 

“So…” Gabe said.

Bee looked up, scraping up the last bits of egg.

“Are we going to talk about last night? In my room?” A blush crept up on his face and down his neck, making his shoulders red. He couldn’t meet their eyes. 

Bee chewed at their lip. “Why would we?”

He shrugged, looking down. “I dunno… It was just our first time. That counts anyways.”

They nodded, still looking at him. “Yeah, I guess. You liked it, right?”

He nodded quickly, looking up. “Oh, no, yeah, for sure! It was great, uh…” He blushed more, looking down again. “You were great.”

“Is there a ‘but’?”

He shook his head, glancing up. “No, it’s fine!” He bit his bottom lip, sighing. “It was good. Great. I love you, Bee.”

They choked, eyes going wide. They dropped their fork, causing a clattering noise. “Oh, uh, holy shit, uhm-”

Gabriel went white, looking up to read Bee’s face. “Oh, was that too fast? I’m sorry, I just didn’t know. I can take it back-”

Bee shook their head, clearing their throat. “Don’t take it back, you dunce. I… I love you, too.”

He smiled softly and they both leaned in for a kiss. 

* * *

**Gabriel**

Gabriel woke up happier than he ever has. Seeing the gorgeous form of Bee in his bed next to him, the slight burn in his legs from last night, it all put a smile on his face. He kissed their cheek and got up from bed, quickly throwing his pants on and leaving the room. 

He made Bee breakfast and they sat on the couch. They had small talk and some confessions. Before Gabe asked the question that had been weighing down on him this whole time.

“What’s that tattoo I saw last night?” He frowned when he saw their reaction.

Bee went white, fidgeting. They shook their head defensively. “I told you. It’s just a boy. He’s not important.”

“Well, apparently he  _ was  _ at least. I don’t want to pry, but you know you can trust me.” He put his plate on top of theirs on the coffee table. 

“Well, you are prying,” they said quickly. “If you’re so insecure about it, then book my bloody appointment to get your name tattooed on me, too. I’ll get it on my cunt. Feel better?”

Gabriel frowned. “I love you, Bee, but… Aren’t you projecting a bit?”

“Oh, fuck you, no I’m not.”

He sighed and nodded. “Okay. You just seem… insecure about the tattoo.”

“Of course I am. I thought I loved a bloke and I didn’t. Then I made a stupid decision that I can never get away from.” They huffed and crossed their arms. 

“I’m sorry, baby.” He threaded his eyebrows together, resting a hand on their arm. His eyes laid on them gently. “You know my… past with relationships. You don’t seem to mind. I want you to know that I don’t care what you did in the past, either.”

“Promise?” they asked hopefully, looking up at him. 

He smiled and nodded. “I promise, babe.”

“It’s Anthony,” they said quickly. “I was in love with him but he was in love with Azzy so I got his name tattooed on me because I was mad.”

Gabriel froze. He couldn’t believe what the  _ fuck  _ he just heard. Of all the things he expected to hear, that was not one of them. “Excuse me?”

Bee huffed. “You heard me. I thought he was the one.”

Gabriel swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. Words escaped him. “Holy shit, baby. Oh… wow.”

There was silence for a moment. The air thickened that it was hard to just nervously fidget. Bee squirmed, not being able to look him in the eyes. 

“I still love you,” he said.

“Stop saying that word!” they groaned.

“What?” His eyebrows scrunched together.

“Love,” they admitted. “I know you do and…” they sighed. “I do you, too.” Their voice seemed to crack. “I just don’t like it thrown around.”

Gabriel grabbed their empty plate from the table and kissed them. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

They pushed him away. “You’re going to get a smack. Don’t you have something to do?”

“I have a class in 30 minutes,” Gabe said. “Are you going to your classes today?” he asked, getting up and throwing their plates in the sink. 

“I’m not going at all anymore.” They shook their head. 

He gaped, turning to look at them. “What?! You’re dropping out?”

“What else can I do? I don’t want to go to class and have everyone stare at me because I’m all knocked up at barely 20 years old.”

Gabe swallowed. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He walked over and leant against the back of the couch, kissing them again. “I know it’s hard… But we’re doing this together. I love you.”

They were silent for a moment. “I love you, too… Just go to class.”

* * *

**Anthony**

After Azzy went off to his classes and Bee laid down for a nap, Anthony got a call. He looked at it quizzically, more puzzled when he saw that it was Gabriel. He figured it had something to do with Bee not answering their phone so he picked up.

“Hey, if Bee isn’t answering, they’re asleep,” he said. “I can go wake them up.”

“No! This is perfect. I need to say something,” he said quickly. 

Anthony frowned. “What?”

“Bee has your name tattooed on them,” Gabe said fast enough to make Anthony feel like he was just hit by a bus.

Silence. Shocked silence where he sat and processed what the other had just said. “What are you on about?”

He stumbled on his words. “Last night, we, uh, well, I saw them-”

“You had sex?” Anthony arched an eyebrow. “Yes, they told me, continue.”

Gabe sighed, Anthony could tell he was blushing over the phone. “And I saw a tattoo on them. Under their, uh, bosom and it was a name. And I asked them about it and they said it was about a boy they didn’t like anymore. So I pressed on the next morning and long story short? They got your name tattooed onto them.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

“I’m serious. Ask them.”

“Will they be pissed off at you?”

“Anthony,” he laughed sadly. “My life is already falling apart. Nothing could get worse than it is. Don’t worry about me.”

Anthony sighed. “I might ask after they wake up. Thanks for telling me, I guess.”

“Right,” Gabriel said. “See ya around, man.”

“Hey,” Anthony said. “Don’t say that about your life. It’s getting better. And don’t be a straight boy, sound like a normal person. Goodbye, Gabriel.”

“Bye, Anthony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for stick with me through this huge fic that's already nearing 30 chapters ?? It actually recently just surpassed 100 pages. You all mean so much to me. Please leave a comment, some kudos, and a bookmark!!


	27. Chapter 21.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a god, her name is Karma. She's a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny how it all goes down  
> Don't be sorry when it comes around  
> I'm like, "Oh my god, I think it's karma"

**Michael**

Michael sat on the couch with Uriella, sharing a bottle of wine over two glasses. The late night danced in the sky and the waning moon sent light into their dorm from the open window. The warm night made everything feel comfortable, summer was coming. 

Their talking became more muddled and colorful as they became more tipsy. Their lips collided more and laughter came faster than ever. 

Uriella took a sip of her wine. “Stupid prick, gave me a hard time on purpose. That’s what I get for working in retail, I guess.”

Michael nodded, listening completely to her girlfriend’s story. She shook her head, frowning. “People are like that, baby.”

Uriella grabbed her hand. “Yeah. Anyways, how was your day, lovely?”

Michael blushed. “I had a good day actually. Classes weren’t too hard and… y’know work wasn’t bad.”

Uriella opened her mouth to say something but stopped when there was a knock on the door. The two shared a confused glance and Michael got up to open it. When she did, her eyes widened. It was Bee. 

“What do you want?” she said quickly, hackles raised.

“To apologize,” Bee mumbled, facing pointing downwards.

Michael froze. She looked back at Uriella then to them. “To what?”

“Apologize,” Bee said again. “I threw the first punch. I can’t go on blaming you forever for something I had partial responsibility for.”

She nodded, words escaping her. “Oh… Okay.”

Silence.

“I’m sorry,” Bee sighed out finally. “I forget that I'm an adult sometimes and I should probably handle things reasonably.”

Michael glanced down, shame overcoming her. “I…” she sighed. “Come in, Bee.”

They looked past her shoulder at Uriella, gnawing at their bottom lip. “Are you… Are you sure?”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Michael said. “I swear. If I do, you have every right to press charges.”

“It’s not about pressing charges,” they said, anger seeping through some. They inhaled and exhaled deeply. They seemed to be counting before they spoke. “It’s about my baby. A little bit of damage and both me and it can die.”

Michael’s face slacked in shock. Holy fuck. “Oh… So you’re really keeping it?”

“Yeah,” Bee said flatly, stuffing their hands in the oversized hoodie they were wearing. “No signs of a miscarraige, yet.”

“Oh,” Michael said softly, shame overcoming her. “You can come in.”

Bee shook their head. “No, it’s a bit late. I should get back to Gabe’s place.”

“You’re still living with him?” Her voice rasped when she said that. She swallowed dryly.

“Yeah… I mean, I am carrying his baby, afterall.” Bee laughed almost sadly. 

She shook her head, partially to rationalize herself. “No, I get that,” she said. “He said that nothing’s going on between you two.”

Their eyebrows shot up. “Well, that’s old news.”

“Oh, really?” She wetted her lips. 

“Yeah… Very old, actually.” They rocked on their ankles, looking around the hallways. “But… All I wanted to say is that… I don’t want this to be a feud between us. Hate him all you want. He honestly deserves it for doing that to you, but I swear, Michael, I never meant to hurt you. If I knew he was engaged, or even just dating someone, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“Okay,” Michael sighed, closing her eyes. “I just want to know… How do you know if you can trust him? I don’t know if I could.”

Bee sighed, looking down. “I’ve been in and out of relationships. Forever. I’ve never even said ‘I love you’ to someone before him. So if he’s noncommital, then fuck it, so am I. We’re just trying. For the baby.”

Michael’s jaw tensed and she leant on the doorframe. After a beat of silence, she spoke up. “I forgive you.”

Bee nodded. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Michael closed the door, tears starting to fall.  _ I’m so fucking stupid.  _ She decided to fight someone and purposefully hurt them. She knew in the moment that she wanted that baby to die. She could sense the fear coming off Bee in waves and it made her high, higher than she was on rage at that time. Now, she finally could’ve gotten what she wanted any minute; Bee and that baby gone. It didn’t make her feel any better, though, just worse. Revenge wasn’t as sweet as she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, kudos, and a bookmark! 
> 
> Karma :: Marina


	28. O'n i'n Mynd i

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shine a light on someone's heart and their true self reflects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O'n i'n mynd i ffonio ffrind,  
> gofyn lle ma'r dyddia'n mynd.  
> O'n i'n mynd i neud bob dim  
> o'n i isho'i neud  
> ond nes i ddim.

**Azzy**

The day started as grey and rainy, with thick clouds hanging heavy above the heads of the South Yorkshire inhabitants. Many had no choice but to stay inside. In the blooming spring, it was still a bit cold, so the heating system caused a light haze to cover the windows.

“What do you think of something minimalist?” Anthony asked, running a restless hand through his hair.

Azzy scrunched his nose up, and before he could say anything, his fiance sighed. “Okay, no minimalism.”

The two of them were trying to plan their wedding. Something they’d talked frivolously about since Azzy (or was it Anthony?) proposed a few weeks ago. However, as they finally bought some magazines and sat down to talk it out, bickering started. What color they wanted, what kind of cake, what they would wear, the entertainment, the food, the guest list. Azzy didn’t like how they were fighting over it, but they needed to come to a decision. 

“I like the idea of a small wedding,” Azzy interjected. “I just don’t like the idea of minimalism. As a concept.”

Anthony nodded again, sighing. “Okay, what about… I dunno,” he groaned. “What about colors. What colors do you like?”

“Brown,” he said, smiling. He thought for a moment. “Like, a light brown! And baby blue.”

Anthony nodded. “Well, I don’t really like light colors-”

“It’s a wedding, dear,” Azzy deadpanned. “Not a funeral.”

Anthony rolled his eyes, a smile tugging on his lips. “Well, okay. We can have it your way,” he giggled.

Azzy frowned slightly, reaching out to hold his hand. “What colors do you want, dear?”

“No, it's okay, angel.” He paused for a moment. “What about rose gold?” he asked. 

Aziraphale smiled, eyes shining. “Oh, how lovely!!”

“Or, maybe it can be gold with red accents?” Anthony cocked his head, eyes running over his face.

Azzy gasped, covering his smiling face with his hands. “Yes! That’s perfect! I can wear a golden suit and you can wear a red one!”

His handsome fiancé bit his lip, smiling and leaning forward. “Yeah! Oh my god, yeah.”

Azzy thought for a moment again. “Perhaps a bit Medieval themed?” He asked. “Not too over the top, but just elements here and there. Like metal chandeliers and such. That’d be nice, yeah?” He smiled at him hopefully, reading his face.

Anthony smiled, pecking his lips. “Perfect.”

* * *

**Bee**

Bee sat back on the chair in the ultrasound room, breaths coming out with forced serenity. Nervousness gnawed at them, their stomach and insides, thrashing like sharks in a feeding frenzy. Cuspidated teeth tore through their heart, lungs, dragging across their intestines- but they closed their eyes and breathed. They recounted the symptoms in their head. _Abdominal pain, bleeding, cramping, feeling of guilt._ None of those. A few months had gone by and their stomach had been growing. All the signs pointed to a normal pregnancy. Hell, they were visibly pregnant now.

“Do you want to know the sex?” the doctor asked, snapping Bee from their anxious trance.

“Please,” Gabriel answered for them, glancing at them.

She smiled, moving the wand around a bit. “Congrats, you two are having a little baby girl.”

Bee gasped, covering their mouth. They looked at Gabriel, who was also in shock. Tears wetted his deep, cool eyes. They looked at each other and shared a kiss, laughing and smiling.

“A girl…” Bee searched for words. For weeks they’ve been wondering about their baby, and deep down they wanted a girl. All the violent sharks swam away. “Oh… Oh my god, holy shit.” They laughed in shock.

“Congratulations,” she repeated. “I have a daughter. I wish you two luck with her.”

Gabriel squeezed their hand, also reeling from the news. “Baby, we’re having a little girl.”

Bee kissed his hand, breathing out. They nodded. “That’s… So wonderful.” Tears welled up, deep from their eyes. “Oh, wow. That’s wonderful. My little baby!”

The doctor smiled. “There is no sign of any serious damage,” she said, looking at the screen. “She looks pretty healthy from what I can tell.”

Bee relaxed, smiling softly. Their grip on Gabe’s hand loosened. “Thank fuck-”

“Thank God,” Gabe said, glancing at Bee. He kissed their temple softly. 

“That doesn’t inherently mean that the baby will be born healthy, but there are no signs of a miscarriage. Your baby, most likely will be born, Bee.”

Bee nodded, squeezing Gabe’s hand again. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

* * *

**Gabriel**

“So, Mr. Angelov, how are you feeling today?”

Gabriel opened his eyes, scanning the room again. The clock ticking bounced off of the stark white walls with nothing but a dark curtain covering the closed window to absorb it. He inhaled and sighed. Here goes nothing.

“Pretty good,” he mumbled. He fiddled his thumbs, searching his mind. “Uh, I just found out that I’m having a baby girl.”

“Oh, you’re a father?” the therapist smiled at him, scribbling something down. 

He nodded, biting at his lip.

“How old are you?” she asked, a bit cautious.

He sighed, knowing that was coming. “Nineteen,” he mumbled. He looked down, he looked sideways, he stared behind her. Just anywhere but her eyes. She was a nice enough lady, but something gnawed at him about her. She was older, hair pulled back in a bun that caused her face to pinch and her eyes to cast judgemental stares. 

“That’s quite young,” she said, frowning. “Are you married?”

Gabriel played with his thumbs, shaking his head. “I’m not, uh, we’re not married.”

She smiled. “That’s very nice. What’s her name?”

“They,” Gabriel corrected, sitting up some. “They’re non-binary. Their name is Bee.”

She nodded. “Oh, that’s very nice. Is there anything about them that made you want to come here?”

“No!” Gabriel said almost defensively. His face scrunched up, mind running like water over a mill. “Well, uh,” he sighed. “Maybe…” 

She nodded. “Go on.”

“I accidentally got Bee pregnant when I was in a relationship with someone else-” he said quickly. He looked down, avoiding the searing hot judgement. “Her name was Michael. We were engaged and I loved her. I truly did, but I made a drunk mistake after Bee came onto me. And it’s not Bee’s fault! They didn’t know about Michael, but…”

Gabriel bit his lip, looking around. “I think I still love Michael,” his voice cracked, his throat choking on the words. “I love Bee and I love our daughter, but my mind is filled with the idea of… I don’t know, just her and how I could’ve treated her better. I’m still… Hurt by the loss of this beautiful woman in my life.” He cleared his throat, blinking and shifting. 

“I was going to marry her and have kids and have this golden life and…” He inhaled, feeling the tears well up more. “That just never happened and I just can’t get it out of my mind.”

She nodded. Silence filled the room for a moment. She scribbled as Gabriel held the metric ton of judgement resting on his back. “It seems like you’re stuck in the what could have been.”

Gabriel nodded as he looked up at her. He smiled softly. “Yeah! I guess, essentially.”

“Have you tried talking to Michael?” She clicked her pen.

He was quiet, pensive. “No, uh, I figured it was best to just… leave it be. She and Bee got into a pretty nasty fight and I don’t want to provoke anything.”

“Bee is their own person. Why would you trying to be responsible make Bee be angry at Michael?”

Gabriel nodded slightly, more thoughts running through his mind. “Yeah, I guess.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I think that makes sense.”

The therapist smiled. “That’s good. Are you in university, Gabriel?”

He nodded, inwardly glad to be moving subjects. “Yes, ma’am. I’m studying business.”

“How nice. Are you American?” she asked. “From your accent.”

He nodded again, finally making eye contact. “Yes! I’m from Virginia. My dad went to the same university. It’s like a family tradition. Although, I might be considering moving back to the US. To raise the baby and all.”

She nodded, writing something down. “How do you think Bee feels about moving to the US?”

“Never told them, really,” Gabriel admitted, running his tongue over the back of his teeth. “I think they want to stay here. I mean, if they truly want to, I will stay here with them. I will be in this baby’s life no matter what.”

She smiled warmly, the judgement of her eyes melting away into the friendly crinkles. “That’s very commendable. Are you scared or nervous at all?”

Gabe sighed, nodding slightly. He looked back down again. “Oh, god, for sure. I’m terrified. I don’t know one thing about raising a baby or… Shit, anything.” He laughed nervously. “Excuse my language-” 

“Everything feels so small now,” he continued. “Like, I have a baby and the baby… She can possibly pass away at any moment and there’s nothing I can do. It’s almost as if my fate is sealed, oddly. I’m a religious man. I pray every night to make sure the baby lives, to make sure my Honey Bee lives.” 

Gabriel moved his jaw around, breath stuttering. His voice grew tighter. “They got a concussion early in the pregnancy and they can just… miscarry whenever. They can hit their head and die and everything will be lost.” He paused to wipe his eyes. He sniffled. “I will have nothing left. You know?” He looked back up at her, eyes red.

She nodded. “Bee is seeing a doctor, yeah?”

He nodded back. “Yeah. Our baby seems to be healthy, actually. But, like, y’know… I’m a father.” He scoffed in disbelief, holding his head in his hands. “Oh my god, I’m a father.”

She nodded. “I can see how you’re feeling overwhelmed. Have you tried looking for cheap babysitters while you’ve got school?”

Gabriel shook his head. “I have money. I can support this baby. I’m just afraid. I want to be a good dad so bad. I want her to have a good life, but… I feel so bad. Maybe I was just raised too religiously, but… Having unmarried parents being as young as we are is… I hope it won’t hurt her.”

“Well, Gabriel, there are studies done about children of teen parents. How physically, financially, and mentally it can affect them. You are an adult, though.” She paused. “Uh, how old is Bee?”

“Twenty,” he responded softly.

She nodded. “Okay, I know it is scary, but you’re living on your own now. You don’t need your parents to do anything for you. You’re old enough to make big life decisions. If you’re old enough to do this, I feel like the baby will be okay.”

He swallowed, taking it in. “Yeah, uh, yeah. Okay. Thank you.”

“And there are studies about how boys with only one parent are more likely to suffer from mental illness, but you’re planning on staying together and you’re having a girl. Besides, being mentally ill isn’t a death sentence. It’s something that can be worked through and treated.”

Gabe nodded in agreement. “Yeah! Yeah. Yeah.”

“Do you or Bee have any history of mental illness?”

He sighed and thought for a moment. He chewed at his lip. “Yeah. Bee is bipolar.”

She nodded. “Okay. I see. Well, that does heighten the chance of the baby being mentally ill as well. Bipolar disorder can easily pass on to be schizophrenia, so make sure you keep an eye on that, but again, it’s not a death sentence.”

Gabe nodded again. “Okay, right. Totally.”

“What are you planning on naming her?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I’m Catholic so I want to name her Mary, but Bee would definitely not like that idea.” He let out another nervous laugh, that ended up more like a cough. 

“I think Mary is pretty, why not?” She cocked her head. 

“They’re a Satanist,” he said. “I think if we don’t want any names with any religious connotations, we’ll be fine.”

The therapist nodded, turning to look at her computer. “Okay, it seems we’re out of time. I’m glad you came to talk to me, Gabriel. Make sure you talk to Michael, and if you’re ever feeling stress about the situation with your daughter, make sure you can talk to Bee about how you’re feeling. A lot of men like to hide their feelings and that’s an extremely unhealthy practice.”

Gabriel nodded, getting up from his chair. “Yeah, thank you.”

“And don’t be afraid to come back,” she said.

He nodded again. “Thank you so much.” He left the room and quietly slunk down the hall. He slipped from the building and got in his car, resting his head against the back of the seat. He swallowed, closing his eyes. Tears filled them and before driving back to his dorm, he started to weep.

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony sat reclined, legs stretched out on Azzy’s lap, enjoying a glass of wine. His boyfriend was reading a novel aloud, the words running over his ears like water from his skin. Azzy’s hand was stroking his hair. Anthony closed his eyes, warmth soaking into his heart from the tips of his fingers.

After the stress of planning their wedding, the two of them took a warm shower and sprawled out on the couch. Azzy picked up the book he had been reading and Anthony was just about to fall asleep. That was until the door opened. 

Anthony opened his eyes, turning his head. It was Bee. He sat up, scooting off Azzy’s lap. He smiled at them. “Hey, how was the ultrasound?”

Bee held a picture in their hands, pressing it to their chest. “Guys, guys, guys-” They ran over with tears in their eyes. They sat down on the couch and turned it around, showing the blurry image in hand. “Look! Look! Here she is!!!” they practically squealed. 

Anthony put his wine down, gasping. He put a hand over his mouth, leaning forward to take a closer look. “Oh my god!”

“Oh, heavens! You’re having a girl?” Azzy smiled, marking his place and closing the book. “How sweet!”

“She’s moving around.” They placed a hand on their abdomen. “My baby girl has a heartbeat.”

Anthony scooted closer to them. “That’s so wonderful.”

“Have you thought about names?” Azzy asked, cocking his head. 

“We’ve never talked about it, Gabe and I.” Bee moved their lips around. “I was thinking about naming her Sabrina, maybe? Or Anastasia.” 

Anthony smiled, putting a hand on their arm. “That’s so pretty.”

Azzy put his arm around Anthony, kissing his cheek. “I can’t wait to see your little girl. I bet she’ll be beautiful.” 

Anthony nodded in agreement, grabbing his hand. “Totally.”

Bee giggled, laying back on the couch. “I know she will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that took so long!!! Getting back in the swing of things was awful. 
> 
> O'n i'n Mynd i :: Gwyneth Glyn


	29. Chapter 22.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love and hate have a similar fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deception and perfection are wonderful traits  
> One will breed love, the other, hate

**Michael**

Michael twirled her fingers in Uriella’s hair. Her arms snaked around her girlfriend’s body, pulling her closer and closer so they could soak up each other’s warmth. Their breaths fell in and out in sync. Michael closed her eyes, kissing her softly. She hummed, smiling and giggling against her lips, as she felt Uriella kiss back.

They snogged like just that, tongues exploring each other’s mouths. Uriella’s hand slid up Michael’s body and groped at her chest. Her kisses moved down to her neck and her hips started to make rhythmic movements against her girlfriend’s. All this made Michael’s stomach twist and her throat dry up. Her underwear became wet and she squirmed, making a soft moaning sound.

“You alright, babe?” Uriella asked, unlatching her mouth from Michael’s neck. 

Michael nodded, gripping onto Uriella’s shirt with anxious fists. “Please, keep going… I want it.”

Uriella nodded before running a hand up her jumper and squeezing her right breast. They snogged and grinded against each other more. Their hands ran all over, in underpants and pleasuring one another before they both reached their peak. When they were done, they wiped themselves off and wrapped their arms around each other, sleep taking them both.

On the very verge of sleep, almost lucid dreaming, there was a knock on the door, making Michael groan. She pulled away, making sure not to wake Uriella. She got up, pulling her clothes on. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock, squinting past the bleariness. Her face twisted around in a scowl. What the fuck, who is here at 12 AM? 

Michael walks across the living area, the cold wooden floor sending shock waves from her feet and waking her up more. She opened the door, suddenly taken aback. It’s Gabriel. She stayed silent for a moment, glaring him up and down. He looks like he just got out of bed, too. “What the hell do you want?” she finally said.

“I want to apologize,” he responds, tears filling his eyes. His voice was as thin as paper, ready to be torn at any moment. 

“I already told you I don’t want your apology, cunt,” she growls back. Her hand squeezed the doorknob, knuckles white. She needed to be ready to slam it whenever. 

“That’s fine, but, Michael…” his voice trailed off. He couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore. He hung his head before speaking. “I love you.”

Her eyes widened and she couldn’t speak for a moment, as if her vocal chords were frozen. “Wh- What?!” she finally managed to get out. “You have a fucking baby! You have Bee and you’re at my door?”

Michael paused for a moment, and before he could say anything else, she spoke up again. “You can’t stop cheating, can you?” Her voice cracked. She bit her lip to keep it from quivering “I’m sorry, though, I’m really not. I’m happy with Uriella, my girlfriend. Go and suffer.” She moved to slam the door, but Gabe stopped it with his hand. 

“I do love Bee!” he interjected. “I just… Realized that I’m still grieving over you and I just want to tell you that I’m sorry.” He looked down again. “You don’t need to forgive me, because I probably gave you terrible trust issues. I- I can’t imagine what that’s like, but if it makes you feel any better… I don’t drink alcohol anymore.” He looked up at her hopefully, shaking his head. “Not even a little bit. I don’t trust myself anymore.” 

“It doesn’t,” she said flatly. “I don’t understand how Bee could love someone like you.” She shook her head, narrowing her eyes in disgust. “They deserve someone who’ll treat them with respect, not a slag. Now, let me sleep, dick.” She slammed the door in his face, wiping her eyes. She sniffled softly and went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do be writing slow doe. anyways, i hope yall enjoyed this <3
> 
> Homewrecker :: Marina


	30. Honey, I'm Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're the one who brings the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There're stains on your sweater  
> You think you know better  
> But you're a child, and it's kinda wild

**Azzy**

It’s been quite a while since Bee broke the news they were pregnant. A little over three months, actually. Their belly had swelled visibly and a stranger could tell that they were carrying a baby. Ever since, their smile had grown, too. Instead of a nuisance, an abortion waiting to happen, to a miracle and a ray of hope for the future. The sight of the change made Azzy warm inside. He loved kids and wanted to help his friends with them.

Anthony and Azzy walked down the store aisles, fingers intertwined, looking at the baby products. 

“Oh, dear, look!” Azzy pointed to a purple and sparkly little dummy on the shelf. “This will be perfect for her!”

Anthony turned to look over at it. He smiled, face brightening up. “Oh my god! That’s so beautiful.”

Azzy took it from the shelf and plopped it in the basket. “How cute,” he said. “She’ll love this.”

Anthony nodded, squeezing his hand. “You have the best eye, baby.”

Azzy giggles and leads him around the store. After a few minutes, they find a pair of onesies, one resembling a night sky and the other resembling a nice flowery meadow. They took them to the cashier and took them home, storing them in a little gift bag. Perfect for Bee. 

* * *

**Bee**

Bee woke up, blinking the heavy sleep from their eyes. They shifted, the early morning sun peering down on them and creating a pool of light in the bed around them. They outstretched their arms, landing a hand in a mass of dark hair. They look over and smile at the sight of Gabriel, knocked out asleep. They wriggled a little in his arms, leaning over and kissing his jawline until he stirred.

Gabe's eyes opened slightly, trying to brush off the newly disturbed slumber as well. His eyes focused and he smiled, pulling them a bit closer. 

“Good morning, baby,” he mumbled, tangling his hand in their dark mess of hair. “How did you sleep?”

Bee giggled. “Morning, love. I slept good.”

Gabe pulled them into a sweet kiss, running his hand down to the small of their back. “That’s good.” 

“Why didn’t you wake up early?” Bee asked, resting their head on his chest. 

“I wanted to wake up with my babies,” he smiled, rubbing their swollen stomach.

They laughed, pushing him away and sitting up. “You’re so fucking corny.”

Gabe grabbed their bum, smiling. “You like it, though.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bee giggled. They crawled out of the bed and stretched, hearing their joints pop. They picked up their phone, checking their texts and began digging in their closet, pulling out some jeans. 

They stood in front of the mirror, trying to fit into their jeans. They frowned as they looked at themself, sighing. “A lot of my shirts aren’t fitting anymore.”

“That’s because you’re tiny,” Gabe laughed. He hugged them from behind, swaying them. “It’s okay. We can get you some cute shirts. Are there goth maternity shirts?”

Bee guffawed, rolling their eyes. “I’m sure.” They pulled their shirt down more. “I’m not that fat, yet,” they said. “I’m going to Anthony’s, he texted me to come over.”

Gabe nodded, eyebrows pushing together. “No breakfast? You should eat.”

“I’ll eat when I’m over there.” They kissed him softly, putting an arm around his neck. “Are you going for a jog or are staying?”

He put his arms around their waist. “I’m probably going jogging.”

They nodded. “Alright.” They pecked his lips. “I’m going to his dorm. Remember to be ready by-”

“Three o’clock,” he said. “Yes, I know, baby.” He pecked their lips back. “I’ll walk you to the room,” Gabe said, taking their hand.

Bee intertwined their fingers, leaning against him as they made their way out and down the hallway. They stopped and turned to him, kissing him softly. “I’ll be ready for you, okay?”

Gabe nodded. “Okay, see you in a few hours, baby.”

“See you, love.” They gave him a soft smile as he walked away. They turned on their heels, opening the door to Anthony’s flat. 

Anthony and Azzy’s heads snapped up to look at them. “Hey, Bee,” Anthony said. He got up to give them a hug. Bee wrapped their arms around him tightly, giggling. 

“Hey, Tony.”

He took them by the hand and dragged them to the couch. “We bought some stuff for your little girl,” he said, gesturing to a bag in Azzy’s hand.

“We figured, even though you weren’t having a baby shower,” Azzy began, “that we could still give you some gifs.”

Bee gasped, taking the bag. “You seriously didn’t have to-”

Anthony sat down next to them. “Shut up,” he said playfully. “Just open the bag.”

They scoffed, opening it up. 

They sat down next to Anthony and opened it. They looked through it and took out a little dummy. “Oh, that’s so cute! You two are so sweet.” They set it to the side.

Bee took out another thing. It was a few baby onesies. They giggled, smiling. “These are the sweetest things-”

Anthony put his arm around them. “I think we’re almost as excited as you are for the baby. Have you and Gabe talked about names yet? Azzy and I want to know what to call her.”

Bee shook their head, shuffling through their new gifts. “Not yet. We’re thinking. The Catholic bastard might want Mary or something.”

Anthony watched them, a smile on his face. “I guess you won’t let that happen?”

They looked up at him, eyes gleaming. “Oh, honey, who do you think I am?”

* * *

**Gabriel**

“So Mr. Angelov, Mx. Bubbles, you two wanted to join me together. Is there anything specific on your minds?” the therapist asked, looking at them expectantly.

Bee and Gabe looked at each other for a moment, before Bee spoke up.

“Well, I mean, we’re about to have a baby and we’re both proper fucked up,” they said. 

Gabe elbowed them, scoffing. “Oh, my god, excuse them, but, uh, yeah. Basically.” He cleared his throat, shifting. “We think we need some help because we have a baby on the way.”

“I don’t want to be like one of those couples who force themselves to be together for the baby,” Bee cut in. “I do love him-” they admitted, looking down at their hands. “I just need us to be strong so the baby won’t ruin us.”

The therapist nodded, scribbling something down. “I see. I understand. What do you think you need work on?”

“I think Bee needs to open up more,” Gabe said immediately.

They gasped, looking over at him. “Oh, fuck off you stupid wanker!” they said defensively.

The therapist nodded, ignoring Bee’s comments. “Why do you think that, Gabe?”

He glanced at Bee. “They don’t like to admit that they love me and… They don’t like me telling them that I loved them.”

“Why is that, Bee?” she asked, turning her gaze to them.

“It doesn’t matter-” Bee brushed it off, crossing their arms.

“It does to Gabriel,” she said. “If we want to fix the problem, we have to break it down from the base.”

Bee sighed. “I just… Don’t like getting attached. Yeah, we’re having a baby and all that bullshit but I don’t want to sit there and waffle on about how much we love each other, it’s pointless. It gets me too attached and that’s just proper rubbish.”

“You’re pregnant,” Gabe mumbled. “It’s too late for that-”

“Mr. Angelov is a little right, maybe just not so harsh. Mx. Bubbles, I feel you should focus on being more vulnerable. You can start with little things, like telling each other how your days were completely honestly. Include the little things that made you frustrated, sad, or happy. That can help you both trust each other more.”

Gabriel looked at Bee and nodded. “Does it sound like we can do that, babe?”

Bee nodded slightly, kissing his cheek.

* * *

**Anthony**

Anthony sat on his couch soaking up the afternoon sun, sipping at an iced coffee. His eyes stayed glued to his phone screen and his legs were crossed. Azzy had decided to take a nap before going to a late-night class, leaving him alone. So he sat, his lanky legs probably going numb under him, but he didn’t move. Until Bee walked in. 

Anthony’s head snapped up when he heard the door open and he smiled at them. “Hey, Bumble. How was couple’s therapy?”

Bee rolled their eyes, going to sit down next to him. They laid back and sighed. “It was fine and all. Just… A bunch of psychology shite.”

Anthony laughed, putting his coffee down. “You  _ are  _ seeing a psychologist, you know?”

They waved him off, laughing. “Piss off. I just don’t like how I’m supposed to  _ open up  _ or whatever.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Not to be a downer, but… You kind of do.”

They groaned and rolled their eyes. “You go to therapy, too, then, cunt.”

He laughed. “I’ve been. I’m a mainly stable adult.”

“A’right, A’right, don’t have to rub in, yeah?” They shook their head.

After a beat of silence, Anthony sat up, voice sobering. “You know, Bee, you can tell me anything.”

They threaded their eyebrows together. “Uh, yeah?” They laughed awkwardly. “I just went to therapy, no need to counsel me again.”

Anthony sighed, grabbing their hand. “Okay… Then tell me… why did you get my name tattooed on you?”

Bee’s curious smile fell, and their face paled. “Who told you?”

“That doesn’t-”

They stood up, eyes igniting. “Did Gabriel fucking tell you?” they interrupted him. “What the fuck is wrong with him!?”

Anthony quickly grabbed their wrist. “Bee! Bee, it’s okay! It’s okay. I’m not mad.”

Bee swallowed, forehead creasing. They sat back down slowly. “Really?

He nodded. “I mean frankly, a bit odd given the context, but I decided to get your name tattooed on me, too.”

Their eyes widened. “Holy fuck, Anthony, there’s no need-”

“It’s okay!” he cut them off. “I don’t want you to regret that tattoo forever. We can have matching tattoos. As friends.”

Bee sighed, running their tongue over the back of their teeth. “Okay… Fine. Okay.” They swallowed. “You don’t have to do this for me.”

Anthony scoffed, cupping their face. “Oh, Bee, I love you. I don’t want you to feel like you made a dumb decision for the rest of your life. I don’t want to look at that and see the one you lost. I want you to see your best friend.”

Bee teared up slightly, lip quivering. “Okay.”

He put his forehead to theirs. “Yeah?”

They nodded, holding in a sob. “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just going to pretend this didn't take over a month write. i'm sorry im not updating quickly, my depression has kinda been worse recently and i'm focusing on passing my driving test right now. but i will finish this thing if it kills me lol. the doc i'm writing this in has reached 120 pages!!! how amazing! i love you guys so much thank you for supporting this. <3 please leave a comment, some kudos, and bookmark!!!


	31. Daddy's Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing, how bittersweet they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got my mother and father knocking down my door  
> Ears split, circle pit, gotta go to the show  
> Woah, got nowhere to go  
> Got nowhere to go

**Azzy**

“Anthony, dear, are you sure about this?”

It was a cozy spring morning. Azzy woke up with Anthony by him, cuddling up and snoring away. The morning was quite warm, not as chilly as the previous mornings. Azzy quite liked that. Bloody coldness bothered him. He didn’t want to wake up and take his covers off and be freezing.

Instead this morning, he woke up, took his covers off, and stretched in the warm bedroom air. His boyfriend turned under the twisted blankets. Azzy ran a hand down his bare back, humming softly. He rested his hand on his bum, letting Anthony sleepily slap it away. They got up together, took a nice shower together, and went out for a nice posh breakfast together. 

“Yes, I’m sure!” Anthony replied to his fiance’s worrying. “I feel Bee should know they have a friend that supports them no matter what.”

Azzy just dropped his head in defeat and nodded. Anthony told him before lunch that he needed to get a tattoo. Of Bee’s name. Just like Bee did for him. It shocked him at first. 

“Anthony, are you kidding me?” he said when he found out.

“No, luv. I have to. Like I said, Bee needs a friend and that’s what I am.”

Azzy knew he had no argument against him. Those stubborn Scots. So he stood in the doorway, fussing over Anthony like a parent over a child. 

“Please be safe. I heard you get fevers after getting tattoos. I should get you an ice pack, shouldn’t I?”

Anthony held his hands in front of them, intertwining their fingers. “Dear, I’ve done this before. I know what it will be like. But I won’t mind if you’d like to help take care of me.”

Azzy blushed, smiling to himself. “Okay, sweetheart. I love you.” He knew he would set up some food and ice and anything to help him through getting that tattoo. He loved taking care of him.

Anthony kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you in a bit,” he said, leaving and locking the door behind him.

Azzy sighed dreamily. His boyfriend was an idiot. God, he loved it.

* * *

**Bee**

Bee woke up, like they did almost every morning, to a drifting smell of breakfast and an empty bed beside them. Their boyfriend considered himself a gentleman, still, and wanted to make sure they had something to eat at the start of the day. Though, they almost secretly wished Gabriel would stay in bed with them until the sun hit the middle of the sky. They’d shag, throw on pajamas, and go eat donuts or waffles or something. Why did Gabriel have to care about their bloody health? They sat up more, got their bangs in order, stretched as much as they could with their pregnant belly, and got up. 

They looked in the mirror, the mirror looking back. Almost five months pregnant and they were steadily growing. Being thin as a twig maybe helped with the visibility. They smiled softly. Their baby was coming. They were damned if they weren’t going to have this baby.

Bee went into the kitchen area, seeing Gabe plating some food.

“Morning,” they mumbled drowsily.

He looked up. “Hey, sweetie,” he responded in his Virginian drawl. 

They sat at the table, the realization of not being able to pull all the way up anymore hitting them. A small smile of satisfaction spread across their face. “What healthy baby food are you feeding me this morning?”

Gabe rolled his eyes playfully, taking a seat beside them. “An egg and oatmeal with dried apricots. It’s good for you and Anna.”

“It’s Ah-na!” Bee resputed, dropping their fork. 

After their agreement of the name Anastasia Marie, they were fighting over the pronunciation of her nickname. Gabriel preferred the more traditional Anna, while Bee wanted the more European Ana. Their poor girl would never be named at this rate. 

“Just eat.”

They just ate. They just ate in silence for a while, content from the morning sun until Gabriel asked a burning question.

“You wanna get married, right?” 

Bee looked up, caught off guard. “Huh? Oh, yeah.”

There was another chunk of silence as they ate more. A pensive silence. Bee tapped their fingers, eating, watching Gabriel do the same. 

“You want to marry me, right?” They asked nervously, coming to a conclusion that maybe Gabriel was having second thoughts. “Because I thought that was what you wanted with me being pregnant and everything, but if you’re in over your head, I understand I just-”

Gabe hushed them quickly. “Bee. I want to marry you. It’s a bit scary, but this is my baby and I love her. I just wanted to ask, uh, do you want to move to America or do you want me to stay here?”

Bee felt anxiety bubble up inside themself. They suddenly weren’t hungry anymore. “Do we have to do this now?”

“We have to do this sometime.”

They sighed. “Can you move here?” they mumbled. They couldn’t move, they knew they couldn’t move far from this nowhere town, no matter how dull they thought it was as a child. They know that this is their security and they’d be lost in a new town. A new county. “Please? I don’t know what I’d do without living here.”

Gabe blushed softly and nodded. “Of course. I understand. You’ll come with me to America when I visit though, right?”

They nodded. “Of course! However much you want.”

Bee looked down at their food, picking at it more until it was gone. They got up, putting their bowl in the sink and throwing themself on the couch. They watched as Gabriel did the same and turned on the tele. He threw his arm around them and kissed their head.

“I love you.” Gabe mumbled against their skin.

Bee huffed indignantly. “I love you too, I guess.”

As they both sat and watched tele, Bee’s phone buzzed. “Oh! I have to go with Anthony to get his tattoo. I’ll be back, yeah?”

Gabe nodded. “Please be careful. Okay?”

“I promise,” they said to him and they walked out the door.

* * *

**Gabriel**

After Bee left, Gabriel got up, and showered. The mist colored the tiles in the bathroom, opening his pores and making him smile. When he was done, he sat on the couch and continued his interest on the TV. After a bit, a knock rings from the door. Strange. It could be Bee, they should be home soon, right? But why would they knock? He got up and opened the door slowly, being knocked over by the sight in front of him.

“Gabriel,” he said, looking up at him. His father. His father had flown over from America without telling him.. 

“Dad!” he said, panicked. “How did you find my dorm?”

“I asked the dean. How are you, son?” he asked, inviting himself in. “The year is almost over and I was wondering if you were enjoying this school?”

Gabe stuttered, looking around. “Yeah! I like it.”

Sandalphon looked around the room down his nose. “Do you like your roommate?” 

“Oh! Yeah, he’s nice,” he said, playing with his hands nervously. He hasn’t seen Azzy in a few days in all honesty. He and Bee traded rooms, so that he could stay with Anthony and Gabriel could look after his pregnant fiance.

As Sandalphon looked around the room, a piece of fabric caught his eye. Snatching it, he examined what it was. A black, lacy bra. Oops. Gabe wrest it away, blushing. “Sorry, that was, uh, just… Someone’s.” 

“You’re not sleeping around, are you son?”

“No! It was some girl Azzy brought in. Uh, my roommate, Azzy.” Awful lie. He was obviously as gay as the day was long, but his dad didn’t need to know that.

“How’s that girl, Michael? Weren’t you planning on proposing to her?”

Gabe sighed, not needing to be reminded. “We broke up,” he said softly. “It happened a bit ago, but it’s kinda sad.”

“That’s too bad,” Sandalphon said, nodding.

Gabe was about to explode. “Dad,” he blurted. “I can’t lie to you.”

Sandalphon’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“That bra belongs to someone who I’m, uh, seeing-” he mumbled. “And they’re pregnant,” he said almost a whisper.

“She’s what?”

“Bee,” he said, not able to look at him. “Their name is Bee and they’re nonbinary. They’re pregnant. With my baby. And, uh, we’re getting married in maybe a year and I’m having the baby. I’m helping them raise it.”

A beat of silence came from his father. He finally exploded. “You’re insane. You’re trying to kill me!”

“If it weren’t for me, they would have aborted it!” he yelled at him. “I know I made a mistake, but you sent me off to a different country and expect me to still live by your rules. That shit’s unfair! So if I want to have sex and do whatever with someone, then I can.”

“Gabriel, you are such a disappointment to me. Your allowance is being cut off.” He turned around and went to open the door. Gabriel cut him off by screaming. 

“Fine! Fucking fine!” his voice cracked. “I don’t need you! Mom will support me, I know she will. I can live a happy life without you.”

Bee opened the door just as they were arguing. They stopped in their tracks, sensing the intensity in the room. “Baby?” they mumbled, confused. “Anthony just got his tattoo finished,” they trailed off. “Uh, who is this?”

“Are you Gabe’s babywhore?”

Bee went red immediately. “Excuse me?” They moved up to him. “Fucking pardon me? I’m not Gabe’s anything, nor is having a baby the most important part about me! I’m not owned by a man and I am  _ not  _ a fetus factory. Who the hell are you anyways?”

“I’m Gabriel’s father. Sandalphon,” he said, almost offended that Bee was that close to him.

“Okay, shoe phone,” Bee scoffed. “I’m sorry, but I’m Gabe’s enbyfriend and, yes, I’m carrying his baby, but I’m more than his fucking baby carrier. He loves me.”

Sandalphon sighed. “You fell for a liberal, too? I can’t believe this. I thought this campus wouldn’t radicalize you. You’re not allowed back at my house.” He slammed the door behind him as he stormed out. 

Bee and Gabe looked at each other and he let out a sob.

* * *

**Anthony**

The needle buzzed next to Anthony’s ear and anxiety bubbled up in his chest, making his stomach flutter. He shifted, feeling the light sting of the disinfectant on his chest, right under his top surgery scar. He inhaled deeply, tensing up as it breeches skin. He whimpered, biting his lip.

Bee smiled at him, sitting next to him. They were enjoying some crisps. “It hurts, innit?”

Anthony sighed, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you.”

“Hey!” They said. “My name is hella shorter than yours.”

Anthony laughed softly. “I’m glad the names we chose make it harder for you.”

Bee crossed their arms, putting down their crisp bag, as they watched him tear up and whimper.

He shook his head quickly after a few seconds. “Can we take a time out?” he mumbled.

Bee laughed to themself. “You know, you got pretty far, babe. You’re almost done.”`

They restarted and Anthony smiled as he hissed through his teeth. Hopefully this will be worth it. 

When they got done, it was plastered up and he drove to the campus, letting Bee go and going back to his flat. 

“Thanks, Tony,” they mumbled to him. “It means a lot to me.”

He laughed. “It’s nothin’. Now go off to your little manwhore.”

“I hate you,” they laughed, shaking their head.

“I hate you too,” he said as he watched them walk away.

Anthony made sure they were safe inside their dorm and went back to his own. He opened the door and threw himself on the couch, inhaling deeply. He hitched up his shirt to show his boyfriend, also on the couch. 

Azzy gasped to himself, and ran his fingers across the raised skin. He lightened up when Anthony winced. “The craftsmanship is quite lovely.”

Anthony looked up at him. His beautiful, cherubinic features accentuated by the afternoon light filtering in through the window. The slight blonde curls, the pink chubby cheeks, the sparkling blue eyes. Oh, how gorgeous he was. That man would be Anthony’s forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took very long. I know. I just got out of a really major depressive episode and it's so hard to get back into the rhythm of a schedule after my whole life literally just falling apart. I just now discovered I have OSDD-1b from this depressive episode and it's been a hard time for me. 
> 
> Enough of that sad info dump, just tell me how you enjoyed this series in the comments. Anything is much appreciated. Please leave some kudos as well! Thank you all so much through this crazy journey of this story. I love you all so much. 
> 
> K Street Walker :: Destroy Boys


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